Notes from the Cracked Ceiling by Anne E. Kornblut is an interesting look into the 2008 Hillary Clinton and Sara Palin campaigns as well as the leadership styles of DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano and other current female leaders. It is also a book that discusses the difference between the first and second generations of women working in what is called the second wave of feminism. This book reminded me of another one I read years ago, The Four-Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer and Visionary by Angeles Arrien, PhD and got me to thinking about female managers and leaders I’ve worked with over the years.
Some of my experiences have been positive but some have been unsatisfactory. I am amazed at how often women sabotage themselves after working so hard to obtain that coveted management / leadership position. I want to review the topic of matriarchal leadership more fully. I would like to collect your opinions of experiences with female leaders for a paper. If you do not mind if I use your name in the quote you leave, just write “okay to use my name.” If I do not see this in the response, I will list is as personal communication with no attribution.
Thanks so much for your assistance and have a great weekend!
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
Do you have a timeline for this?
No…it’s going to be my 2011 project and one I’m in charge of so I want to take time and gather opinons and then see if the existing literature supports them. My last study was 2009 so it’s time to get back in the saddle. If it has any legs at all, it could potentially be presented at a September 2011 symposium.
Orignally, I was just going to write a paper about the standard matriarchal leadership styles – intuitive, empathy, etc. But after a rough week at work made more difficult by some of “those” women which I’m calling (working term only) the shadow women, made me realize think there may be a study in this not just a paper.
So I am just curious what experiences others have had. And I trust my VN ladies to tell the truth…the good and the bad.
what do you mean by “shadow women”? This really interests me because I have been in a leadership position and received many national commendations but was undermined by my supervisor who was a female.
I am just using that term for my head at this time. It is a reference to Jung’s shadow self.
Quoting: Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it. Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.
“Psychology and Religion” (1938). In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.131
It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses- and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster; and each individual is only one tiny cell in the monster’s body, so that for better or worse he must accompany it on its bloody rampages and even assist it to the utmost. Having a dark suspicion of these grim possibilities, man turns a blind eye to the shadow-side of human nature.
“On the Psychology of the Unconscious” (1912). In CW 7: Two Essays on Analytical Psychology. P.35
So if you imagine a color wheel and imagine the type of leaders you want at the top…empathetic, intuitive, communicative, supportive, gives clear guidance, sets the tone, engages the mission, etc, then the shadow leaders are on the other end of the wheel…micromanaging, self-absorbed, chaotic, does not give clear direction, unsupportive, etc.
A clear metaphor for this is a public servant vs. a politician. A public servant takes the position because she believes she has something to offer the community or constituents. A politician (shadow self) is in it for herself and what the position can do for her.
Again…these are just starting thoughts I’m noodling around in my head…and allowing them to fall out here for discussion.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, DrShe. I am a visual learner and appreciate your color wheel analogy.
This too can come back to haunt you but here it goes: Female bosses come in different shapes, colors and from different countries and cultures. I am in the Export business hence most of us are “foreign”. An American female boss most likely will have to follow the law, although there are ways around it. A boss from another country even if they deny it, bring with them their culture and their biases. We have one that prefers 4-5 people, out of 15 of us. They joke and laugh but when some of the others do it, they are told they are too noisy. I stay out of the ‘circle’ because with my big mouth i cannot see and stand preferential treatment which i consider unprofessional for a manager in that level. Will men behave the same way? I do not think so, men are more detached all around, like “what have u done for me lately?”
Interesting thoughts here…thank you.
I’ve had great female bosses and great male bosses and a few really bad ones of both genders. What stands out about the good females bosses was that they used their feminine strengths. By that I mean they wanted to reach consensus and were more collaborative. They inspired confidence in their leadership and people who worked for them had confidence in themselves.They developed a feeling of interdependence that fostered excellence.
The worst boss I had was a woman who micromanaged. She had something to prove and managed by intimidation and fear. Her management style was “I’m in charge because I know what’s wrong and mine is the only answer.” She led by fault finding and blame. I’m not sure if that style is unique to women but I see in more often in women managers and less often in men. There is an under current of fear that runs through them that ultimately contaminates what they do.
Use my name as needed.
You have written exactly what I’ve experienced as well. There are some women who are great to work with and then there are some who snipe and belittle and micromange for no reason. The second set of women disappoint me greatly when they see other females as competition instead of a sisterhood of managers who could do great things if they joined together. However, critically, I have t ask myself if I’m expecting more of them because they are women…..?????
Thanks for responding.
I’m disappointed because of the effect they have first of all, but primarily because I think they have embraced what they think are masculine qualities and discounted the benefits of female qualities. Am I expected more of them because they are women? I don’t think so. I expect to be treated fairly and with respect by the person I work for. I have found that more true when I work with men. Men seem a lot more dispassionate about situations. I have a lot of guy friends and I’ve noticed that they will gladly acknowledge that someone is an ass hole but they don’t get their panties in a twist as long as he is good at what he does. They are more matter of fact of things.
After rereading your response I wonder if it might be because they feel like there is only so much room at the top for women and so they become adversarial and defensive about their positions.
I agree with you. I hate to say it but I enjoy having a man as my first line. He may drive me crazy at times but it is because we just aren’t agreeing on the task at hand, not because he is bringing in all the other drama to the table.
Working in a predominantly male environment all my life, I’ve taken on those attributes I admire while trying to instill the positive female attrbutes that I believe work in our environment. I still have a lot of growing to do and I drop into my shadow self occasionally, usually when I’m tired and one of my team members is trying to snow me, but I believe the combination of the two allows me to be the best leader I can be.
I agree water….dispassionate was the word I was searching for also.
Aside from my first job working as an assistant for a nun in a high position in a hospital, I have not enjoyed working with women superiors..the micromanaging is almost unbearable..I much prefer working with men…
Thanks..and unfortunately I agree.
I am sorry I did not find this conversation earlier. It is very interesting.
Personally, I have had good bosses and bad and in both genders. But after 25 years of working as a management consultant specializing in leadership and organizational culture development, I have come to believe that we need to lead as we live. The more we can be ourselves the more our leadership will flow, be honest and genuine and it takes a whole lot less energy than trying to be someone we are not. I recently discovered while researching for my book Fifty & Fabulous! the Best Years of a Woman’s Life, that as we age there is a cost for having been less than authentic when we were younger.
“Some women who cannot find the feminine way emulate the power of men. They watch the men who have succeeded—still, unfortunately, often the majority in the roles these women aspire to—and they study how they operate: their leadership style, the way they communicate, the way they make decisions, the values they seem to be guided by. Then these aspiring women try to copy their male role models.
“But women are different from men. We think, communicate, and act differently. Not better, just differently. In trying to act just like the men, we deny ourselves important benefits. A perfect workplace—well, maybe a utopian workplace—would encourage the differences and so produce the ultimate result from a mix of male and female thinking. Those women who “copy” the men often succeed in the short run, but they put themselves at risk later in life because rather than investing in their own sense of self they are renting space in someone else’s. They will not benefit from the interest that accrues when a woman invests in developing her own unique feminine brainpower and perspective. These women who have lived less authentically will be most affected by their perceived invisibility. As their femininity is tested, seemingly diminished by aging, they will seek to fall back on something—their adopted maleness—that was a chimera all along.”
What a great post! Thank you. There is so much here to chat about: the invisibility factor of againg, the women faking it (ie being men in skirts), and the not being authentic. Very powerful subjects. I will definitely get your book because I agree with you that 50 is fabulous. While others in my office are hiding their true age, I shout it from the conference room! When asked, I answer, according to who it is and what is going on, “are you kidding 50 is great. I never imagined making it this far, so many of my friends did not.” Or “are you kidding 50 is great…Finally the self esteem kicked in and I can look anyone in the eye from presdents on down and say, I’m here, I deserve to be here and if you are smart, you’ll listen to me.” -:-)
Thanks for posting. I look forward to chatting about this with you and the other posters as my colleague and I move this study along….