Suddenly, magically, I’m not invisible Most Liked

Today’s Featured Comment

From Vicky1956

I can understand the “invisibility” factor.

I resisted it at first. Then I realized that by being invisible, I am in a position of power. I float on the perimeter while the younger women are vying for position and posturing for center stage.

Then, just when there is a lull in the action, I step in with the words of wisdom, the power of KNOWING, and the wisdom borne of experience and chutzpah…and I calmly, authoritatively, eloquently…state my position.

Suddenly…magically…I am not invisible. I am a wealth of resource and support which I freely give. I have nothing to prove; I am successful and good and kind, and I want to nurture the young women. I am clearly visible to myself. And I don’t need to compete. I am confident, happy, and a doggone good role model.

And…I’m 55! Woohoo!

[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]

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Posted in family & relationships, other topics, VN Featured Comment, work & money.

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4 Responses

  1. Vonnie Kennedy Vonnie Kennedy says

    Hey Vicky – great attitude! I just wrote a similar post about be amazing – yep, we are, aren’t we? :)

    2 like

    • Generic Image katinas says

      Very well said, this is exactly where I am at this week. I may not be but 43 but I am not invisible! 
      Great post!

      0 like

  2. Evie Evie says

    It’s funny, but I remember the days (not that long ago!) when I was dealing with feeling invisible. In fact, I posted several comments on ‘the problem’ here on VN. Your post has reminded me of that old feeling and you know what, I’ve aged past it! Lol

    I was astounded when men, in particular, looked past me to the younger woman behind me! At the office party, I seemed to be blended into the walls, not a presence of any importance! It was rather crushing! What had happened?! It’s true, in smaller, intimate groups, my mind/knowledge seemed to be respected and younger folks would gather around with life questions, etc. These were some of my favorite social evenings! ;) I would feel so alive at those times!

    These days, well past my fifties, the importance of being visible seems to have thinned out to nothing! I have dropped expectations of being anywhere near the center of attention. Following the “natural course of things” it’s a more quiet life. Everything creative, in art, music, writing, my home, my relationship (yes, that does involve creativity!) are the ways I ‘show up’ in life. “The world’ doesn’t see me, like it used to, but that’s okay. This is a different time in my life and I’m enjoying different things…the lime light has gone out! Lol

    I will say this, I am glad I had those days in ‘the hub’ of things. It was great fun! It took awhile to adjust to the new ‘older’ me, but I am in a new phase…late autumn, so to speak!

    As we age, it is so important to let go and move on to accept these changes, otherwise, there can be a lot of unnecessary suffering. Oh, there are so many changes…what next?!!

    Thanks for your post!

    2 like

    • Jaki -- fiftyfab.com Jaki -- fiftyfab.com says

      Thank you for this. I think you have articulated the next stage, the” past the fifties stage”. I like you have experienced the same. I describe it as transcending the invisibility issue and understanding myself to be in a whole new paradigm. I agree that it is rich and fulfilling and has its own unique qualities.
      The challenge is to describe this phenomenon to younger women without making it sound like we have settled for something lesser. I use the word acceptance a lot and now I observe that the word is starting to get a negative connotation. Used in ways like “Well I am not going to just lie down and accept it” or “we have to change this not accept it”. Our aging is inevitable. The way society reacts to it is not but it can be predicted due to trends. How we react to it is truly the only variable which we can change and a whole new attitude is a great gift. Acceptance is not giving up it is far from that. It is about seeking and curiosity and exploration of the reality before us.
      Please share your perspective with as many younger folks as you can and give them the gift of knowing that there is an optional attitude available for the next stage.

      3 like

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