Today’s Featured Comment
It’s cheaper to hire someone who is younger. I’m expensive…and worth every penny. Plus I talk back, question authority and stand up for what I think is right. That kind of person can be a pain in the neck. A necessary pain in the neck, but a pain in the neck nonetheless.
You can become cynical or interested. It’s a choice that takes a certain level of consciousness. The gift of experience is that I can usually relate what’s new to something I already know and tweak it a bit. I also know where and how much of my energy to put in the latest bandwagon. It took me a long time to stop jumping on every bandwagon. I also know how to make things work for mystudents.
I have a very different experience about being an elder. I am respected and valued. When I’m not I know that it’s not personal, that it has everything to do with where the other person is that. I can resist it and create more negativity or I can accept it. I don’t need to be venerated or treated with a higher level of respect than anyone else is treated. This generation is very much about now and energy and being current with technology. They don’t much care what you did. They care what you do.
I do think that our generation is redefining what it means to age and it’s not about being young as much as it is about being actively engaged in the world. I love the new Toyota commercials for that reason. Why are we so insistent about being valued for our wisdom and our experience? That question, honestly just occurred to me.
[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]
Are older employees worth the bigger salary? Share your perspective!
Yes I get that you meant in the work place, not dating. But the original poster did use the example of Julia Roberts getting what she wants from a man by using her femininity. I don't see that as strong. As you know she was a hooker? This comparison 
Hi Watermusic! I’ve read so many of your comments to others and loved them! I’m so happy you chose to write about this topic now, because it’s an area of much concern for many women. Thank you.
It’s an area of concern for me. I’m realistic about work. I don’t want to look for a new job because I know that a. I’m expensive to hire and b. a young boss wants to work with young people or people she wants to be around. The biggest thing I had to let go of was the need to be an expert or to be venerated.
I don’t just want to get off of the bandwagon, I want the band to start playing a different tune for a change, one where the first words are not “me” or “mine.” I want people to lift their eyes up from their electronics and really see each other, to hear each other, and to treat each other with respect. I do not work in an atmosphere of mutual respect and appreciation for a job well done by those in authority. Thankfully I will only be there another year or so, but in the meantime I try to be a good role model for my younger co-workers, and in exchange they are glad to teach me how to do things on the computer that elude me. I value myself enough to let what others think of me be their problem, not mine.
Flower Bear, your last statement says it all. ” I value myself enough to let what others think of me be their problem, not mine,”
I didn’t always feel like that and it has taken me most of my adult life to reach that point, but boy, does it make a world of difference in my life! I wish someone had told me that years ago, but I probably wouldn’t have believed them until now anyway. Some things we just have to learn on our own.
Someone told me that the key to inner peace was to care less. I’ve stopped caring and when I do I check my ego. I flipped open A Course In Miracles
this morning to a section about creating false idols. We create false idols when we give other people power over our self worth. It happens, but I try to catch and it and regroup as soon as possible. There are days though….
I have just started working with A Course In Miracles. I read the companion book by Moody and and the Marianne Williamson book. I’m ready to dive in. Any pointers? Why was I not surprised when I saw that you’ve read it?
I read it because I love Marianne Williamson and was listening to her podcasts. I just read it. There are study groups, but I could never find one that met at a good time for me. I hope you enjoy the book. The older I get the more painfully aware I am of little I actually know. I kind miss the days when I thought I knew everything. I don’t know why.
I need time to edit…..I meant to say of how little I actually know.
Same here. The study group in my area meets on a weekday night that requires a long bus trip home after dark. There is an online study site that I found but haven’t worked with yet. I always thought I’d know everything when I got older and had lived a little. Now I’m older and I realize that what I know comes from either experience or just plain faith. I don’t think we’ll ever have all the answers. It’s the journey, not the destination, that gives us the answers. Gee, I think there’s a song in there somewhere, don’t you?
When I said that I kind of missed the days when I thought I knew everything I think what I meant was I miss not knowing how much I didn’t know. That was in my twenties and early thirties, blissfully unaware, living flat out and large. I had an innocent trust that allowed me to do all kinds of wild and crazy things.
Then my forties rolled around and I became painfully aware of how ugly and hurtful people could be and while I saw beauty and love I kept my back to the wall and my guard up.
Now, in my fifties I see how much unnecessary drama and pain I created for myself and the people I loved. The blessing is that I am able to do this from a place of deep love and respect for myself and others. I have stopped damning myself and others quite so much.
I don’t think I will go back to the place of blind trust, but I do seem to be headed to a place of greater compassion which creates a kind of trust or at least acceptance for my flaws and the flaws of others. When I can stay in this space my life is easier and full of deep contentment.The key is staying in that place, setting a place for love and refusing to create any more pain for myself and others. It seems like a no brainer, but it takes effort, hence the blog I write, reading books like The Bible, A Course in Miracles, attending church, and keeping the Sabbath. I need the ballast because otherwise I would go off half cocked and wide open.
Enjoy the book.