| narcissist |
how do you get out of a marriage with a narcisist/
Posted in family & relationships, work & money.
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
Hi again. I have to laugh. My friend Gina Mcnew just wrote a blog post about the myriad of skincare and beauty products women use compared to men. And how it gets crazy as we get older. I laughed my butt off! I thought you ladies would enjothank you so much Lisa, that helps a lot. I know he tried to blame me for so much stuff, but like I told all of his family and mine none of that added up to a divorce. I do realize it's his needs, it just hurts so bad to think how many years he'sI used Noxzema from the time I was old enough to wash my own face, all through school and into adulthood. Then I decided it wasn't 'sophisticated' enough and went with higher priced, higher end products. About 5 years ago, I went back to 
Drain the pool.
Be happy.
I was married to one for 27years. I divorced him last year. First of all stop listening to ANYTHING he says. Do not tell him your planning to leave him. Make a plan, get all the necessary documents together, seek more than one attorney, hire the one who you feel most comfortable with. I left with very little “things” only the basics. I made up for it in $$ in the settlement. You can always buy “new” things. Your first +priority should be breaking away from him asap, with as little fallout as possible. The most important thing is after you are gone, DO NOT CONTACT him in any way. If you still have kids at home, let the attorney handle all the visitation arrangements. He will try & mess with your head, if you let him, no contact once you have left. This is going to be they hardest thing you have ever done. If he finds out you plan to go, you will not get out without a big uproar. Since you have posted this question, you KNOW you have to leave. You don’t want the house, get a new place as far away from him as you can go. If you try to keep HIS house you will pay in spades. Its just a house, it was never your home, you will make a new home, somewhere he has never been, no memories of him to be a constant reminder of the past hell you have lived. If you leave with only the basics, it makes him feel like he is winning, he has all the stuff (power). Let him think that, it will make it easier for you. He doesn’t think you are strong enough to “make it” without him, you “need” him. Let him think that. Rent your new place, don’t try to buy anything now. Try to get an apartment or condo with a security door. Be prepared to get a personal protection order if he tries to badger you during the divorce. The attorney will help keep him away. My divorce was a nightmare, but I did it all alone, he ran off all my friends with his twisted lies. My attorney was a blessing she fought for me and won. I’m happy now. Please don’t wait any longer. He will not change, he will always be selfish and controlling. You will be just fine, listen to the attorney, she will help you through every step. Screen at least three before you hire one. Be up front on what has happened in your marriage, be tough to get your fair share. Do not settle, he will fight, but you will win the best thing of all ,your FREEDOM and independence.! It is worth the battle, you are worth it you have the right to be happy, safe & not bullied by a control freak. I’m glad you posted here, so many ladies have gone through tough situations, everyone will be here to help you now. This is such a good place to come for help. Toe, bless your heart, it will get better, you will be sooooo much happier. I’m here anytime for you. You can PM anytime. Best of luck.
Well, Toe, WiserNow has pretty much said it all. Read and re-read her suggestions!! Keep posting here, also here is a video my husband and I did on narcissism. This series may be of some help. I hope so! http://www.ebay.com/
Keep posting…let us know how you are doing!
I’ve just noticed that Toe has not replied. Wouldn’t it be *weird* if this is a (narcissistic) guy picking our female brains for info, to use against his wife!? Scary! I know, I have a suspicious mind! Oh well… :]
Very, very carefully !!! They don’t like to loose. Plan, Prepare, play the part until you are ready … then run like hell !!! Just what I am doing after living with one for 42 years !! WiserNow has it all covered in her response … Just take your time to be sure you have it all covered … I have been working on mine for almost 3 months and will give him the papers the end of this month …. its all I think about … being extremely proactive .. lots of research to be sure I will win this battle.
Wiser now had great suggestions. I finally had to leave with police escort..see my previous posts… I will add something about the kids though. I have 3 teens. You cant completely cut it off when you have kids involved. Do you have kids? If not RUN for the hills… if you do, we need to chat. By the way, if anyone had told me he would be as psycho has he has I would never have believed it. They dont like being “left”. So be careful. I have decided mine has become a mild OJ. I left a year ago.