You ladies seem pretty together and knowledgable and caring so because my heart is breaking over this situation, I could really use some objectivity here.
My son is 43 years old. The second of three sons. All my sons are from the same father and they are ages 45 43 26.
I was married to their father for 30+ yrs and got a divorce and took the youngest one with me.
I divorced him not because I did not love him but because he was a compulsive gambler.
During the marriage we had stocks and 401ks and such. He never changed me as beneficiary even though he had 17+ yrs to do it.
In March of this yr. the youngest son got a phone call that his dad (my ex) was in hospital. He never remarried, just became more consumed by playing cards. Since I was with my son when he got the call, I went with him to the hospital.
To make a long story short, the hospital thought he was homeless. They were very glad to see us because he only had about a week to live due to renal cancer. The son with me was the youngest son and he went to pieces because he was close to his dad.
His dad asked me to help him and said he trusted me and signed the medical power of attorney and financial power of attorney.
I had him moved to hospice and cleaned up and called the other two sons and his sister.
This son shows up on Friday and when he is there he says to me, I moved 5000 out of Dad’s account into his account and I moved 11,000 of his money into your account on Wednesday in case you need anything. he told me this like 10 minutes afer his father dies and he is in process of leaving. I could not even think and said ok.
We got the call on Monday and on Friday he passed away,
I was devastated. This man was the love of my life since I was 17. I was just in shock.
On Saturday, I go to the mortuary and make the arrangements knowing I am going to end up paying for it because I was not sure he still had the 5000 insurance policy on him.
Saturday night, son #2, the 43 yr old, emails me a copy of a will that he said was his fathers and a spread sheet listing the assest.
I read the will and I was shocked.
The will said, to the oldest son, he leaves 250.00.
To the second son, he leaves all of his estate.
To the third son, he leaves a few gold coins he had in a safe deposit box.
I am upset because of the 250 for the first son.
The will says the second son is executor and all.
I have never had any experience with a will. So, I figure ok this is his will and I don’t like it because it is not fair to all three sons but it is his will and what he wanted.
I finally get the deaths certificates and I send letters to each of these companies for IRA’s and 401k’s and stocks advising them that he has passed and including a copy of the death certificate and advising them of all three son’s individual assets.
I find out the insurance policy is still made out to me so that will reimburse me for the funeral and give me about and extra thousand.
Things are ok until I get a telephone call from this son and he goes off on me telling me that other than the insurance policy and the gold coins, everything else belongs to him because the will said he got the “residue of his father’s estate”.
I was upset and angry because their father had not even been buried yet.
I took the will to my attorney and showed it to him and low and behold, the will is invalid because it does not have two disinterested parties signatures on it – it is notarized.
In the mean time, I have been notified by certified mail by everyone I sent a letter to, that I am the beneficiary on these accounts. He never changed them and one open in 1996, after the divorce, he still names me as beneficiary.
My son wants the money. I said no, I don’t think so because he left it to me.
He goes to an attorney and the attorney tells him it is legally mine.
But during the time he lived with his father six years prior to his fathers death, when his father had heart surgery, he created this will, took over handling this money and bills and mail for his father. His father did zero on a computer. So, son sets up on line accounts to everything unbeknowst to father and it remained so apparently.
Father assumes money he is putting in is staying in accounts and he is living off social security.
So, he is angry. All the funds are transferred in to my name except for the last stock account for 11,000 is still in process of going from both our names to my name.
I am checking the account on line because I have not got the statement on last Monday.
I am stunned to see all the shares have been transferred out of the account.
I call the company and ask what happened to them and they said I transferred them and I said to who.
They gave me the name of my son. I told him I did not.
So, here we are.
This means that whether or not my son agrees that I should have the stock, he decided it belonged to him and took it using identity theft means on the account.
It is my son’s name and address into an account he set up for himself. So he took them from me and put them in an account for himself. All of this is trackable.
I called him and he would not talk to me. I sent him and email and said you have till Friday at 5pm to transfer the stock back to me or send me a certified check for the entire amount.
His reponse was not nice and I am now dead to him.
This is id theft and grand larceny. I filed a police report stating the funds are gone just to get it on record.
The company immediately refused to talk to me because of ID theft.
Bottom line are two issues:
One, I do not know if the stock company is going to prosecute or anything they want to do or what is going to happen but if they can track him I am sure it is out of my hands.
Second is I am ill over this. Just stunned and in shock that he would do something like this and risk so much for so little, his job, his marriage, everything he has accomplished and end up in jail.
I am like an emotional wreck walking around.
I, like many of you, have done many good things for all my sons and this one financially more than I should have as well. I have been so proud of him getting his MBA.
I am angry because this is the action of a spoiled brat and ungrateful child. How could he so calmly break the law and think I would not notice or figure it out.
To know that this is a felony is crushing me. To know that he deliberately schemed to do this a day after the statement closed, changed my address, one month before I am 65 so it cannot be elder abuse is just mind boggling to me.
My son is a criminal and this is heartbreaking.
If any of you have experience with this type of situation or words of advice, please feel free share and thanks for reading. I just needed to vent. Thank you.