i get envious when I read posts regarding whether to retire. I was forced to take retirement at 51 when I lost my job after 35 years at the same company and wish I would have had that choice. Now, five years later, after getting a divorce, losing my home, and unable to find work since I lost my job because of the economy and my age, I feel like I’ve lost total control of my life. I am also now feeling obligated to take care of a five year old child that isn’t even kin because her entire family doesn’t even care what happens to her! What in the world did I do to deserve all this?
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p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
The thing is you didn’t do a thing to deserve this. Life is just damn cruel and hard sometimes. I constantly look at folks who in my perception have “charmed” lives and wonder, WTF??? This is one reason I find it hard to find like minded women in my area. Lots of home grown trust fund types. I just cannot relate. I’d rather commune with women who are down to earth, have some scars from life. That’s how we learn and become compassionate.
I’m sorry you are going through such a rough time. Do you have children, family, friends for support? I hate the feeling of no control. Ultimately do we ever have control I wonder? Things will start turning around for you, I can feel it. Think about how many years you held a job at one place. That’s incredible right there.
How are you obligated to take care of this child? The poor thing sounds like she’s in a dreadful situation. Maybe your calling now is to be her advocate.
Please keep us posted toolgirl8.
Thanks for your response lovemylife. Sounds like we come from the same walk of life. My children live far away now. My daughter 4 hours away and my son lives in California. I wish I still had my job. I thought I would at least be able to work there until “I” was ready for retirement. I didn’t expect them to pick my retirement date for me. Once I lost my job I was devastated and my ex did nothing to help me through the trauma. It was then that I realized that he cared nothing for me except for what I could provide with my well-paying job. Things were already going south because of his drinking anyway. Now here I am at 56 trying to land another job. With the economy and my age it’s almost an impossibility. I agreed to watch this child for a few weeks while the parents got their feet on the ground in another state. The real grandparents were watching her for a month but threatened to take her away because of neglect. The parents panicked and asked me to take her for a short while. I agreed, but it’s now going on 3 months and they now say they cannot afford to fly her to where they live! At this point, without a job I don’t have the money to send her either. She’s a good girl and not much of a problem to watch. Just don’t know what options I have at this point. I have not had a call from the “concerned” real grandparents since the first week I had her. I’m thinking they were flinging threats because they were afraid they going to end up with her permanently. Pretty bad when no one in her life seems to want to take responsibility for her. Guess I’ll take things day by day and hopefully God will take the responsibility out of my hands and put it in the hands of those who should care.
OMG…you are in a very tough situation. I don’t envy you my Dear. Why is it some just have ordeal after ordeal? Damn. I would hate at this stage of life being tied down with the child. But maybe for you it’s a blessing.
I wish you sunnier days ahead. You deserve to be at peace. That’s all I’m looking for right now. And it’s elusive.