| I am trying to give up my shopping obsession, does any one relate | Hot Conversation |
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
Hi again. I have to laugh. My friend Gina Mcnew just wrote a blog post about the myriad of skincare and beauty products women use compared to men. And how it gets crazy as we get older. I laughed my butt off! I thought you ladies would enjothank you so much Lisa, that helps a lot. I know he tried to blame me for so much stuff, but like I told all of his family and mine none of that added up to a divorce. I do realize it's his needs, it just hurts so bad to think how many years he'sI used Noxzema from the time I was old enough to wash my own face, all through school and into adulthood. Then I decided it wasn't 'sophisticated' enough and went with higher priced, higher end products. About 5 years ago, I went back to 
yep, had the same problem, then got divorced and poor. Now my shopping is at Goodwill/Salvation Army/yard sales and I get my fill for a lot less bucks! If I dont shop I eat, (and I EAT ALOT LOL!!!) but after having to declare bankruptcy and have our home repossessed, it was sobering to learn how to live frugally!
Thanks for the response.. I know I don’t want to carry this obsession on……after reading your expersince I will think long and hard about spending because we are in serious times. I want to live a uncluttered more responsible, mi8ndful life. Thanks cjcat2
I am not a psychiatrist but I would imagine the urge to shop is an act of compensation for some other problems you are dealing with. A suggestion that I heard of for this type of behavior is to only buy for other people. If you had a close friend or family member, and you could only shop for them, maybe that would help.
Hi ducky, how is the shopping obsession withdrawal going, I know it is hard at first but I really do think thag if you make a commitment to buy only for others, that will help overcome the underlying reasons you shuo. Christmas is a great time to test my theory, only buy gift for others and see if you enjoy it as much.
it is better to give than receive. I have to change that.
it is important to remember who is doing the giving and who is receiving.
I too am trying not to shop soooo much! Trying to stick with only what I need. Not much fun.
Doing the right thing is never much fun in the beginning. Lets just keep it up and maybe, just maybe we will make habit. Just say no. I am trying
may god bless you.
oh pennylane, you do have a heart
What I was going to say, Pennylane has said already; whether the problem is food, shopping, gambling, or any other addiction, it’s a compensation for other problems we are having. If you can’t pinpoint any reason for it, and handling it alone isn’t working, you may need some professional counseling. Going into debt is no picnic, neither is skimping on necessities because you’ve already spent too much on what you didn’t need. You can substitute other, better habits that are not self-destructive to replace this one. Really think about getting this monkey off your back, as you just did by reaching out. I wish you fortitude as you go about making some life-affirming changes. You won’t regret it.
If you have money – PRETEND TO BE BROKE!!! Nothing is more sobering than trying to decide if a dress you don’t need is more important than eating or paying rent. If you are broke – ask yourself – do I really need a dress that I have nowhere to wear it? That’s what I do.
Hey, duckyone59 — The first step in recovery from any addiction (as I learned years ago in Alanon) is recognizing and admitting one has a problem. You have done that and gone on to reach out to others for help. They don’t call it “retail therapy” for nothing.
It’s always been my drug of choice, but, as other women have noted, poverty has a way of putting a crimp in our fixes. Even as a newly poor (job, home loss) person, I was having trouble with curbing my behavior, until by best friend nailed me on my self-destructive behavior.
The key for me, though — she didn’t refer to the self-destructiveness, because ultimately that is the point of addiction, isn’t it? We do what we do at least partially because it is self-destructive. My retail addiction was about running away. I have been forced to stop running. Scary but worthy action is beginning to ensue.
Chin up, toots. You are already on the right track. Lasso all the support you can into your own personal posse and go after those demons. They can be vanquished. And you will be the triumphant heroine of your own conflict.
thanks mermaid – Your post is great. I have received good feed back and it really helps me. I love the line you wrote Lasso all the support and form your personal posse. That make me feel strong. Yes all addiction is self-destructive at it core. good thoughts to everyone
PS — If you have money, put as much of it as you can into CDs (the financial type) that you can’t cash in easily. Cut up all but one (for emergencies only) of your credit cards. Put the emergency card in a fairly inaccessible place — have a friend/family member hold it for you or stash it in a bank safe-deposit box.
Keep your available cash to a minimum in some way so that you really are faced with this decision: do I buy that [insert item name here] or eat today? Eventually, the habit of not spending will form, as you teach yourself how to be discriminating in your spending choices. Have someone you truly trust, someone who truly loves you, monitor you, as a “sponsor” would.
Anyway, that’s my 2.8 cents worth. Changing my behavior is pretty easy, I found — I don’t have quite enough to live on, so I must constantly scramble to cover the basics. No room anymore for “goodies.”
you are right on…if we don’t have any extra money, then there is no conflict. I should just be greatful I have my basics covered. Thanks its all good.
Absolutely! I guess with these hard economic times it’s made it easier for me to simplify my life. I am 51 and have finally realized that material things are only temporary pleasures. My husband and I both grew up in lower income families and have tried to compensate for it over the past 31 years of our marriage. With age and experience comes much wisdom – I am now working my butt off trying to save for retirement and keep the roof over my head (which I really can’t see myself not working - I love my job) and DECLUTTERING! I truly believe “Less is More” in every aspect of life. This philisophy puts everything into perspective. I feel the most precious things in life are the things we can’t touch or put on a shelf – love, nature, people, and most importantly - God!
RIGHT ON !!dpaul 58. I agree with you and thats what I’m working on.
Great advice, When you get the urge to go shopping go into your closet or decide to clean up and make room …you will be surprise what you will find , Less is More, many time we can’t enjoy what we have cause we have too much to get to them,
Shopping is my hidden sin. I shop when I’m happy, sad, bored, have money, have only credit cards, etc. It has been a real problem for me to manage. Help!!
I know just how you feel. It is a real problem. I am struggling everyday. I used to think oh I’ll buy this for one of the kids. Or its such a good deal anyway the list goes on. & onnnnn We have to just say will this change my life if I buy it. Of course it doesn’t work all the time. I have found this vibrant natn group of women has really helped me Gives me such a positive outlet. Good ideas to respond to or not. Good luck!!
How are you doing today Donnie.
I had that issue years ago…i turned it into a business open my first antique, loved shopping for bargains, and then I decided to take things I liked out of my house to sell, I first gave my three children my best pieces one each , It empowered me that I could give what i liked the best away. Now when I shop if I buy 5 items I try to remember to get rid of 5 or more, I am with an exercise group and sometimes we bring 10 items and them exchange but we can only take 5 back the rest we donate .
Thats a good idea. Buy one –get rid of one— for somepeople its the attachment to things that is also a problem. Love the idea of your exercise group exchange, sounds like a good group to have,
It is a a great group and I enjoy the walks they are also therapy for the soul……
ABSOLUTELY! I “go there” when I am happy, lonely, busy, depressed…and just living! It’s hard to be on the computer and NOT go to ebay for clothes (not that I don’t have a closet full of them). Any ideas for how to heal this “shopperlady”???
My sister in law had a problem with shopping and she said what cured her was She would buy the article leave the sales tag on it with the sales slip and look at it for a week Then 75 out 100 x’s she took it back Worked for her