I have a very dear friend who was also my boss for over ten years. Karen is 60 years old according to her birth certificate but she looks to be in her early 40s. She is gorgeous, thin, fit, sweet, well dressed, articulate, thoughtful, and intelligent. She seems to lack for nothing.
However. . . . . . .
Karen (not her real name) has been a single mom for over 15 years. She is a realtor who has earned the distinction of being ‘THE AGENT’ for her area. She sells multi-million dollar properties almost exclusively. And as such, she pays extraordinary amounts of money to advertise them in high end magazines which cost her thousands of dollars.
Two months ago, she was contacted by a man who was interested in buying one of her properties. Over a period of days, they talked on the phone often (her 800 number) and he ended up being interested in several properties. He would buy ALL of them!
The more they talked (he lives in another state) the more they got to know each other. They were talking several times a day and he was charming her socks off. That, plus telling her stories that have made her fall in love with him for being so caring, so understanding, and such an incredible human being. He makes her laugh. He keeps her calm. He listens so well and always makes her feel special.
He has asked her to marry him. He has never been married and has no children. His family is in Italy and they are involved in the mafia. He has never wanted anything to do with that. So he has been using a very common name while living in the U.S. with a last name that is Hispanic.
She has agreed to marry him! His parents were so happy that he was finally getting married (his is Catholic and she is a Universalist) that the mother wrote a check for $10 Million dollars for their wedding gift and the father has agreed to buy them a 10,000 sq. foot home overlooking the ocean. The mother is also giving most of her antique diamond jewelry to my friend’s teenage daughter. Oh so generous.
Unfortunately, just days after the parents flew to the U.S. on their private jet, the mother died in her sleep. Only two weeks later, the father died after brain surgery to remove the cancerous tumor they just discovered. Neither body has been shipped back to Italy yet. (I’ve been in the mortuary business and I am here to tell you that even after embalming and with refrigeration, the body doesn’t last this long without beginning to smell.)
Karen’s other friends will not talk to her. They think this guy is a fraud. Karen’s mother is an absolute mess over this. Karen’s daughter has moved out and is now living with her father.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Karen has NEVER MET this guy in person! Every time he is scheduled to come an look at properties, something comes up.
There is so much more to this story but I don’t want to bore y’all.
Here is my question. Is there anything I could possibly say or do that would make her see how ridiculous this is? She won’t pay for a background check (?????????????) yet she wants me to do some research on him to see what I can find out. The cell phone he uses is registered to a 61 year old woman whose last name matches the one he uses. Her address is the same one he gave Karen when she sent him the two pairs of Ray-Ban sunglasses as a gift along with some other things. Google allowed me to see the street view of the ramshackle house for that address. Karen has seen it but he says it’s just an address he uses to keep his real identity a secret.
What makes an intelligent woman fall for something like this? Trust me when I tell you that she is truly bright. Everything he says sweeps her off his feel. When she questions him, he acts so offended that she stops.
I’d love to hear from other intelligent women who have been victimized by a man in this way. Please explain what happens to the brain in a situation like this. I am beyond understanding!
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
I am so sorry for your friend, however, when desporation sets in there is not turning back. At her age like the rest of us, we want campanionship/mate. Yes, she has all this going for her, yet no male touch, thats why she doesn’t realy want to know, “she’s got it bad and that ain’t good” that’s a song….TRACK
what a charmer but now that both of his parents are gone where is the money gonna come from that they were gonna give. Even with out a background check your friend needs to really watch this guy, sounds like to me that your friend is about to be taken for everything she has. Tell her to get out before its to late. tell her to look at these signs 1 never met him 2 wont give a lot of info about self, the story about changing name makes no sence when he was gonna take all that money from parents and 3 why marry someone you dont know or have even met. good luck with talking her out of this before she makes a BIG MISTAKE
Please tell me that this is the plot of a short story you’re writing! OMG, I was waiting for the part where you’d say she’d never met the guy….If she goes through with this, we’re all going to see her story on an NBC Dateline segment.
This man is a fraud to the utmost!!!! This is one of the reasons why I visit this site regularly. There are soooo many men out there willing to take a woman for everything she’s got because they view women over 40 as easy pry – thinking they are desperate for a man and we need to always be alert to the different scams out there. Your friend needs to wake up FAST before she finds herself taken for everything she’s got. NOTHING about his story makes any sense – NOTHING!!! And the fact that she would go for everything this _&%#E is telling her sight unseen makes me wonder what’s going on with her mind. Maybe you can introduce her to eligible men who would appreciate her good looks, intelligence and independence. Or maybe - since she’s not listening to anyone close to her – you can introduce her to a good therapist – it sounds like she needs one FAST!!!
Morning, This is the truth, over 40 watch out!! You better know yourself well, cause “the males” are out to get ya, and not all….TRACK
This man sounds not only deceptive but dangerous. I would encourage your friend to report him to the police. For all she knows, he has several women in his web already. It is possible he has a record. People fall for con men all the time, but once the con is exposed they feel foolish and their pride keeps them locked into still “believing” in the con. This could be a life-threatening situation for your friend. Somehow she has to be made to see this as clearly as you do. Make sure she sees the wisdom in changing her phone number and email address, too. I only hope she hasn’t given him her home address.
The next step is a good counselor. Your friend needs help seeing that her needs are so strong that they are binding her to reality, allowing her only to see what she wishes were true instead of what is right in front of her. She needs help understanding why she sees her single status as being a defect that needs fixing. It might also help her to understand more about the nature of conversation, particularly the amount of information that is conveyed nonverbally by our bodies as we speak. Without all those subliminal cues (facial expression, eye contact, posture, gestures, etc.) that confirm or deny for us whether an individual is being truthful, she is left with her fantasies to guide her. She discounts any piece of information that conflicts with what she wants to hear. If she were to meet this man in person, I guarantee her reaction to him would be different from the fantasy trap she has built for herself.
This is more serious than she realizes. Women in her position have been killed by sociopaths like this man. Watch any TV crime drama. You’ve seen this story repeatedly in the hands of the detectives who say things like, “She must have been blind in both ears to fall for a creep like this.”
Scammers repeatedly target real estate agents because they are easy to find, easy to isolate (by making an appointment to view a property) and easy to figure out financially. If your friend has a history of making million-dollar deals, that is public information. She may as well have a target on her forehead for cons like the one who has contacted her.
Finally, suggest she do some research on Ted Bundy. By all reports, he was handsome, charming, intelligent, kind — yet the body count left in his wake numbers over 50. Bundy is a perfect example of what a sociopath looks like in flesh and blood.
I wish you well in helping your friend. Please let us know how you do with this.
“There’s no fool like an old fool.” Blunt, yes, but there are stories all across newspapers, magazines, true crime books, novels, Lifetime movies (“Who is Clark Rockefeller”), afternoon courtroom dramas, talk shows, radio phone-in programs, etc. depicting wealthy women being taken advantage of by con men. There is no credible excuse for Karen’s stubborn refusal to face reality.
There’s nothing you can do to change her mind. You write that her family and other friends have given up on her, and I suggest you do so as well, especially as her employee. Find a new job ASAP because once Karen marries her Prince Smarming her real estate business and assets are going to be bankrupted faster than you can say “prenupt.” Protect yourself and put some distance between Karen’s business and your paychecks.
Be happy
In rereading your original post, I realize now that Karen is your former employer.
OT: Does anyone know what happened to the 15 minute edit period?
Testing 15-minute edit period. Works in Firefox
Testing 15-minute edit period. Works in IE.
it doesn’t work for me on my new computer! HELP!
This seems unbelievable. There is no doubt this guy is beyond fraud, but I also think his “parents” are in on something too. Did she actually see them after they died? Does she still possess the jewellery…maybe it’s hot.
Your friend isn’t seeing anything clear. Besides a therapist, I’d say she needs to talk immediately to the FBI fraud dept. There’s a good chance this guy has struck before. If he has nothing to hide (good grief! he’s hiding himself) he won’t care. she shouldn’t tell him ANYTHING she’s even wondering. This may have gone way past what your friend can see, even if she wanted to. Regardless, none of this makes sence, she needs to go to the authorities.
The police can’t do anything unless he has broken the law, but investigative teams can go on information & probably link him to some other activities. The shack he has as a postal drop may be part of a clue.
This IS like a movie. I’d find myself so frustrated & angry at her denial I’d stop watching though. Be a friend & take her…with written dates & proofs.
I don’t believe the ‘Parent’ story is real. Supposedly they were so thrilled that he was going to finally get married, they flew to the U.S. from Italy to meet her. But, alas, tragedy struck. In less than two weeks they both died unexpectedly. Because they are a mafia family, no information was given out about hospitals or mortuaries. Fake names were used. Karen was not allowed to send flowers or visit.
These events prevented him from keeping several appointments with her to view the properties and finally meet her. But, during his hours of mourning, he asked for the Rolex watch, more pictures of Karen, and continued to call her on her 800# (which costs her a fortune when they talk for hours). Also, he just hasn’t had a chance to send her his picture yet but she’ll see him in person soon.
Excuse me. I’m going to be sick.
I think I’m going to be sick too.
Ladies, are we writing a modern-dau romance tragedy type novel here?
Who could fall for such nonsense?
I hardly know where to start (new feeling for me, ha!) – to answer your question, I don’t think anything you say will make any difference to her….clearly she somehow has bought into this entire ridiculous scenario….but I would make one really serious attempt…..get her to someplace private to talk and then just look her in the eye and say how much you care about her, perhaps pointing out to her that you are a rational woman, and if she can just do a couple of things for you, like go visit the guy, or make him come and as suggested above, agree to go with her…..
I agree with SeaWriter here…there are some relatively cheap background checks you can do online (like Intelius), even if you had a smidge of his real background that she could compare to what he told her, it might sway her…it has potential danger, to her person, if not her money, and she needs caution.
And even, say, all this is true, ok, and this is really true as he has related all of it, why would you want to live with someone who has to hide his identity??
How about just printing out our responses here and giving them to her…..
Excellent idea!
I love all the other response, especially Seawriters. Can you introduce her to a nice guy you know, you know one in real life. I’d start beating the bushes for men.
Just another 2 cents worth…As I thought a little more about this (it is just too disturbing for words)…I perhaps would hire an private investigator…..there has to be some reasonably priced ones out there….but also I would check with the FBI….perhaps you can do it for her….just because she is the one dating doesn’t mean you can’t do a little on your own…..I guess at this point I would not care if she was angry at me, I would do it out of caring about her…even if it ultimately cost the relationship….
I found this in an excerpt from an article…print it out and give it to her! She needs to be educated about the male predator! Women are drawn to their mesmerizing, erotic, oh so enchanting charisma! The Lifetime Movie channel is filled with these con artist men (and women) ‘stories’.
“Men tend to choose the older woman with the hard body and sassy chic look. It provides status to them and it also makes the older woman much more attractive having a younger man on her arm. Women do not tend to want them on their arm as a trophy, but as a companion.
They tell you what you are looking to hear, not what you honestly should be hearing. They will place you on a pedestal and make you believe that you are the Queen of Sheba. . They will stimulate your mind and ask questions that would make your toes tingle and your heart race. They will prey upon your weakness and not your strengths in order to have their needs fulfilled.
These gold diggers will have their nails and heels dug into you so deep, you will not know if you are coming or going, you will think that you are in love by the words and actions that they use, not realizing that they are looking for a sugar mama to satisfy there every need. I have seen this happen to a handful of friends and I have seen the choices that they make, both male and female as they have never gone in with their eyes wide open, but they certainly have gone in blinded by the light. In the end the relationships fails. There really wasn’t anything ‘real’ there in the first place.
This gold digger ‘story’ has been repeated thousands of times and is destined to continue to find its way into unsuspecting hearts”!
P.S. In fact, print all of these great comments out and give them to her!!
Man, am I impressed with the responses on this board. Ya’ll are smokin’! Good luck with your friend, all I got are prayers for her and you. Seawriter and Evie, my heart is smiling at your wisdom. I know who to come to. I hope I never have to. :)
If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck, acts like a duck….. This sounds very dangerous indeed. I don’t know what you can do. You will alienate her I’m afraid if you push your feelings onto her. Wow….sounds like funny business to me. Too coincidental both parents gone so quickly. Man, reeks of too good to be true with all the supposed money, etc. He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Underworld. Something! Gold digger. Man, sounds like a bad Danielle Steele novel. Please keep us up to date. It’ll be interesting how this pans out.
Quack, Quack, Quack. Yep. I think he really is a quack. Good call!
if you have any money, do this friend a favor and hire a detective, you may save her life.
My husband and I are both unemployed. I’d hire a detective in a minute if I could afford it.
She is starting to tell me more and more as the day goes on. Now she is thinking that maybe I should do a background check on him (with her credit card to pay for it all). The problem is, he has two different names.
One is the name he uses while he’s here in the U.S. and the other is the ‘family’ name from Italy. He is a slippery one.
At least she is starting to consider that he might be a liar. Still, as soon as it comes out of her mouth she tells me why he is for real. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve just spent 5 hours on the internet searching for information on both names both in Italy and here. It’s amazing what you can find out on the internet. And I love that the foreign sites have the option of translating the page into English! This is a real learning experience!
Oh, she just called me. She told him on the phone tonight, that her brother did a quick background check on him (he really did) and he blew a gasket! He and his four attorneys were scheduled to fly out on Monday morning with cashiers checks for all the properties. Now his family is all so upset with her, he might not come. She’s back to believing him again.
Sigh.
If he cares about her and is a good guy he will want her to have the information and be happy that her family cares for her. I told a guy who was new in a friend’s life that if he hurt her I would make his life a living hell. Our friends gasped. He was thrilled because it should she had good friends. Good guys want their women to feel safe and reassured. Four attorneys??? Come on now.
Did I miss something? He & 4 lawyers…oh, HE, our Mr. Slimebucket. Why is his family upset with her? It’s all a muse.
I’m worried about these gifts his so called parents gave her & her daughter. I’m afraid she’ll find herself arrested for being a front & harbouring illegal goods, or something like that.
I have a good friend who back in her 20′s ended up in a federal pen for women becuz the scum she was living with out on the east coast was trafficing drugs into the country. Anyhow, he also had a good job so she saw his paycheck, but never knew about the ‘other $’ he was bringing in. She was convicted becuz all she did was take a phone call (phones were bugged!) & relay a message to him of where his friend would meet him for a beer. He showed up, the big bust was made & she was found guilty of being part of it. Luckily she only served about 4 months & eventually had her criminal record revoked.
Hate to say it, but if this guy is only half of what we are all suspecting, your friend could find herself in trouble, OR financial trouble becuz he won’t quit until he’s got what he wants. She needs to act smartly & quickly, just to keep her record straight.
I just remembered this. A friend, a guy, was in a similar situation with a woman. Our friends told him he needed to talk to me. The woman just seemed off. It was all through the internet or phone like your friend. I said in passing that he was too bad he couldn’t just fly out there and see for himself. And because he was a guy, he did. When he got out there she panicked and the truth came out.
Why would anyone buy property without looking at it?
Why would anyone’s parents lavish gifts on a woman they don’t know from Adam?
The big question maybe is Why would she fall hook, line & sinker for all this?
You’re right Jill, That is the question!
this reminds me of Mr. Rockefeller. A movie just came out about a guy with these same credentials. The whole situation is so farfetched that even a 6 year old will know that something is definitely wrong with this picture.
Karen is not in possession of any money, jewelry or gifts. Mr. Wonderful is going to bring them to her in person. Of course, for the last two months there is always something that comes up.
Karen has dated celebrities in the past. They don’t have their mail delivered to their personal home. That’s why he is using another address. The ramshackle house is a rental he owns.
The $10 million dollar check from his mother is still in his possession. He’s going to bring it with him.
His family is VERY upset with Karen because they are worried that he is getting involved with a woman who would risk his family’s privacy by having a background check done.
When I am on the phone to her, I call her on her fax machine line in case her phones are bugged. Her 800# rings off the hook, every 5-10 minutes. She went all day yesterday without answering until evening came. The messages he left ranged from singing love songs to her to powerful reprimands to concern and everything in between.
I’ve promised not to continue with my search. I’ve shredded her credit card information. She believes he is the real deal.
Now, we are waiting for Monday to get here. He and his four attorney’s will be flying in on his private jet in the early morning. He will then purchase 6 properties, at full price, for cash.
Interesting side note: During the 10 years I worked for Karen, we dealt with multitudes of wealthy and famous people. They NEVER pay asking price. Never.
while i was reading this – i just kept thinking is this for real – sounds like a movie plot. i hope she sees sense and doesn’t fall for this. if she’s desperate for a man, he’s not the one. there are some good ones out there. hope she listens to you and sees the light.
I know I already voiced my opinion but if hes flyiong in on Mon and karen hasnt met him before how is she gonna know its really him? Alsso if his family is in moffa does she really want to sell house with blood money not knowing what they have planned for htese houses. pleses find a way to make her wake up
RUN!!!
If his parents really just died, which I doubt, you should be able to find their death info oline. If you have their real names, that is. If if if. Sometimes it’s impossible to protect people from themselves. Sometimes they need the experience, ugh.
OldBlonde, with all due respect I hope this isn’t an EST (elaborate scenario thread). “Karen’s” situation is just so far over the top that it is almost comical. And the conflict grows by the hour. Come clean–there’s either a screenplay in the works or our collective legs are being pulled.
In the event that I am mistaken, and I hope I am, you have my most sincere apology.
Be happy.
I too am the queen of the cynics…and hope this thread is on the up and up. However, it really is starting to sound like something out of a True Confessions magazine…
Wow! It would never occur to me do post something like that.
I agree with all of you that this is the stuff that novels and movies are made of. My original reason for posting was to find out if anyone had ever experienced this sort of craziness and what was said or done that made a difference.
Your ‘collective legs’ are NOT being pulled. This is for REAL!
I, too, would be cynical if I were reading this thread because it IS crazy and UNBELIEVABLE!
Besides breaking her heart, the biggest damage is what will come of her reputation with the six Sellers who are expecting the contracts on their properties to go through. She has worked almost 30 years to build up a reputation and a client base in this area.
You gals don’t know me from Adam, I realize. But if you did, you would NEVER suspect me of pulling an ‘EST’ (I’ve never heard that term before). I’m honest and I’m caring. And I’m praying that all this ends with a ‘Happily Ever After’. But I doubt it.
I guess the whole scenario is so insane, we just find it so hard to believe! I’m sure you’re a very nice, honest woman
And you’re right, there will be no happy ending to this saga…unless of course, she tells him to take a hike!
He’s a con man. His story is full of holes and contrdictions. The parents never existed. It’s all an elaborate story, which he has honed, perfected, used before, and will use again, to bilk lonely women out of their money.
Since she asked you to “do some research,” take this story to the authorities and get their help. Whether or not they can locate the man, they can help educated your friend. Please do it.
Tell her to run, don’t walk to the nearest exit. There were so many red flags it confused the bull. When we fall for anything, we stand for nothing.
God bless, J
It has to be a scam, as everyone here has said, but I wonder how he got his parents to die to fit the scenario. Is she sure they’re really dead, and that’s not part of “the story”?
New-name,
I started a new post on this subject because this whole thing has become so long. Check out ‘My Friend, A Con Man, and the FBI. It will bring you up to date.
Thanks.
P.S. Karen never met his parents (if he has any)
i was in Real Estate for 25 years. i would have caught it.He is a psychopath ,typical. Tell her to run before it is too late. Anyone who wants to buy all the properties available is either a psychopath or a manic. probably both. mclaire12