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How do I get my common law partner out of MY house. Hot Conversation

I moved to Canada 3 years ago with a very charming man, on the outside, (a monster behind closed doors) I met 40 years ago.  We just reunited 3 years ago and I moved to Canada and bought a house (I am the only one on the title).  I just recently found out that he’s been behaving very badly and lying to me ever since we reunited 3 years ago.  He works and is paid under the table and I’ve been retired now for 6 years and have been paying all the bills.  He keeps telling me that he will help with expenses when he has some money!  Hasn’t happened yet even though he is the one working. 

My question (remember we live in Canada) how do I get him out of the house.  If I change the locks and he breaks in, I can call the police and have him charged with B&E but eventually he will come back.  Can I remove all his belongings from the house and place outside or will I be in troube for not protecting his property.

I am at a loss and I’m going broke supporting him.  He lays around the house using the electricity, hot water, TV etc and does not pay anything. 

If I go through an attorney, each attorney told me it will cost approx $5-$10 thousand dollars and several months to get a restraining/no contact order and I already owe that in mortgage, HO insurance, utilities, etc. that I can’t pay.  I’ve been borrowing money from my friends in the states so I don’t loose my home.  I would sell this house up here in 2 seconds if I could break-even, but with the economy right now I can only get half of what’s been put in it.

I am 60 years of age and this was to be my retirement home. 

So, if anyone out there has been through this in British Columbia, CANADA and can give me some GOOD advice, it would be truly appreciated.

Going broke supporting a bum – Kathy W

 

Posted in work & money.

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14 Responses

  1. Sunblossom Sunblossom says

    First check the common law rules for separation in Canada…I googled it very quickly and came up with this….I think you may be pleasantly suprised at what they say   http://www.common-law-separation-canada.com/differences.htm  There is a lot of other info I’m sure you can probably google common law marriages in BC and see what that says as well…that seems like an extraordinary amount of money for a restraining order…can you check with another attorney??  Can you check with the police first and see what they say….I don’t think it costs that much in the states, mostly I would think a small atty. fee and the filing charges..but I am not famliar with that issue.

     

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  2. Generic Image grace says

    open your house to people, broke your silence, look for a very good friend, a male to help you, take care of that horrible person, and you must tell a lawyer.

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  3. llacey2001 llacey2001 says

    Take in roommates while he is out one day. Get some good friends to move in (for the short term of course) the friends who he doesn’t like the most. Flash around the fact that they have paid you rent and let him know rent payer are the only ones invited to live at your house. Or go get the Canadian equivalent of an eviction order on him. Then take out a restraining order against him if he tries to harass you. You don’t need this guy in your life EVER. Make it LEGAL that you don’t want him in your life, yes tell a lawyer (barrister) tell the local Mounties on your beat, tell neighbors, tell anyone who knows him and will listen that you no longer want him in your life and fear his reprisal and do it NOW! ! !  Men like this are danger waiting to happen.  

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  4. Generic Image HONI says

    BITE THE DUST AND HIRE AN ATTORNEY, IT BETTER TO BE IN DEBT AND HAVE A PEACE OF MIND THAN BR MISERABLE  AND STILL GOING BROKE!

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    • Lynnette Lynnette says

      when he leaves in the morning, just 2 hours before he returns, put his belongings on the porch.  When u see him coming call 911 and tell the police he has been hitting u.  Is it a lie?  Who cares?  The police have to act when there is violence, otherwise they just ignore you.  But call them anyway and see what happens.  These type of bullies are worthless when confronted with people in power. 

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  5. Generic Image petunia says

    Just reading this makes my blood boil! What an awful situation you are in..I don’t know Canada law, but agree with the others that getting a lawyer makes the most sense. How about calling 5 more, in the hope of a more reasonable price. Is there a university law department near you that offers free legal advice from law students?  Is there an agency that offers free legal help to those with low income?  .Are there any temper or violence problems that you have seen?    If so, could there be an agency dealing with domestic violence that might have support/advice and legal knowledge on this topic..?

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  6. Generic Image Nancy52 says

    Please be careful – some of these guys are real psychos. Don’t be afraid – be cautious. Make a plan and outsmart the guy. Legal aid is definitley a good idea. Another thing you could do is have him sign a monthly payment (rent) agreement and when he doens’t pay evict him. But really make sure you know he won’t get violent. Have you asked him to move? Can you rent a one room apt for him – put the deposit down and pay one month rent. Don’t sign anything for him – just a thought it could be cheaper than a laywer. Or have you lovingly told him it’s over and he needs to move? Outsmart him. When I left my (violent) significant other – I told him it was just temporary that I was moving back to CO and I’d blaze the way – well he knew better – and eventurally followed me. I had to kick him out and he finally left. Oh by the way – change the locks. Put his stuff outside and ya call the cops if he gets crazy – again be careful por favor : ) Sorry I’m talking in circles really just brainstorming.

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    • Generic Image grace says

      Stop having sex men cannot live  without sex

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      • Olivia52 Olivia52 says

        Please!! This is a bit more serious than withholding sex could cure, he could get sex somewhere else and still use her for a free ride. I suggest contacting someone at family services.

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      • Generic Image grace says

        yes you are RIGHT but don’t give him mix messages you must tell the truth, simple and clear NO MORE.

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      • Olivia52 Olivia52 says

        AGREE!!

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  7. Generic Image kate56 says

    BC has different rules than other provinces. I live in BC. When my eldest son was causing major problems and was addicted to drugs I had to ask him to leave my house. I gave him lots of options and 3 months notice but he just laughed at me and told me I can’t make him move out.  There is a law called the “unwanted guest” basically if adult children or friends, loved ones etc.  have a key and their stuff is in your house then it is just as much their house, no matter who pays the bills.
    I got the key away from my son when he was not looking and put his stuff outside the front door. When he came home he just broke in. I called the police (tough love) and it worked later on (he is now working and doing well) The police dropped him downtown and he had to stay away. I went to the police station and got a no contact order in place. it didn’t cost anything. I had two young children and had to keep them safe, he was getting threatening phone calls from drug dealers so it had to be done. He stayed away and now we are on good terms. It was the best thing I ever did but a hard lesson for him.
    My point is it is very tricky to get someone out of your house. Don’t let someone in even for a while if you think they may be the type who won’t move. It is very difficult and a long process to go through the courts.
    I think your problem is different. He is your common law partner. He has rights. In fact in BC if you live together for 6 months you are considered in a binding relationship like a marriage. Your things are his and vice versa. I found this out when my son was living with a girl who had a child. The law states if he lives with her for 2 years and they break up. He has to pay child support until the child is 18 even if she has a father paying. You need to be very careful.
    I think you will have to make some kind of a deal with him as the law appears to be on his side. He doesn’t have to move out just because you want him to.
    You need to get creative here. The idea of having friends move in temporarily is a good one. They can take up space, use the bathroom so he can’t get in, eat all the food etc. Hopefully this will make him decide to move on.
    I hope it goes well for you.

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