If you were a member of an origination (writers group, artist group, support group, etc) that shared information, advice, tips, expertise, etc. among the members of the group, would you share the same with non-members? Provided that there was NO by-laws stating you shouldn’t or couldn’t…Would you share tips with people outside the group? Or would you insist someone join to get information?
I recently had such an incident with a long time friend who is a member of a writers group that I no longer belong to. I ask her advice on finding someone to edit some writing I have done. She said something to the effect that IF I were still a member someone in the group would be happy to do it for me. But since I am not she wouldn’t give me the time of day on it. Having been a member of this group in the past I KNOW they do not have any by-laws that state they can’t help people outside the group.
What would you do?
What would you do if someone had said that to you?
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p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
If she does’nt own this organization, go around her. She put herself up on a pedestal and moral high ground and I would knock her slats right out from under her…..nicely. Go around her. She’ll realize how snooty that was at some point and you’ll probably get an apology. I also think she may not realize how she sounded. Not knowing the real situation.
Wow! She was really rude to say this to a “long time friend”. That doesn’t sound like anybody I’d want as a friend for even 5 minutes! I belong to a small but wonderful writer’s group and we love helping each other but I’d happily help anyone who asked. If you’re looking for a professional editor to edit your work, that’s different, that’s their job and they deserve to be paid for it, but if it’s a writer’s group which exists to support each other then I don’t get why, since she IS supposedly a friend, she wouldn’t be willing to help you. There are all kinds of reasons why a person may need to drop out of a group…maybe they have responsibilities at home that have increased. Maybe the meetings are at night and they feel vulnerable going out at night. Maybe they’re sick and feel private enough that they don’t want to announce it to others. Maybe they just don’t like the judgemental attitude that members like this “friend” have! I get really positive feedback on the editing suggestions I give the other members of my group and I never bother checking to see if they use all my suggestions or not. It doesn’t matter if they use all of them, or none of them. I just give my suggestions and feel happy for them to take my advice or leave it. I wish you luck in finding some one other than this rude and unkind person. What is her problem???!!!!