I have found myself in college at 51 for nursing. I Never in my life thought I would be doing this at my age. My comment/questions are this- I have 15 other classmates in a small private college. All of them are under 35 years. They all are nice and polite, and we all try to get along since we have to all be together for the next year.(Already been together for 8 months), but I am starting to feel uncomfortable like a fish out of water around them now. They politely listen to me, but then seem to ignore me at other times. Also, I feel like I seem to always be in a defensive mode with them no matter what I say or do. They always have to make some sort of comment or something. I really think its just their age. I have forgotten all the BS and games young women play with each other. Ive been fortunate enough to work for myself the last 15 years, and have never had to deal with co-workers this age. What is the deal? What can I do to feel more “accepted”? By the way, Im a fairly youthful looking 51 year old with blond hair and very few wrinkles. I just ignore them most of the times, but I am so tired of trying to “fit in”. I know I will never really be in their little “clicks”, and I dont care to. I just want to know whats going on, and how to handle it. Thanks.
| College at 51 classmate attitudes |
June 23, 2010
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p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
I recall some older women in my classes at university when I was around 20 years old. I just saw them as bored empty nesters and really didn’t give them a thought. I remember they got excellent marks and that it annoyed me a bit!
Three classes a week is not nearly the same intensity as an entire nursing program that you are all going through together, but it’s doubtful there’s anything you can do to bridge the gap. You probably want to focus on your studies and nursing practice, and simply do what you can to make sure the gap between you and your co-students doesn’t get any wider than it needs to be.
Try to put yourself in their shoes and decifer how you probably come across to them. And I’d try to stay away from starting any sentences with “When I was your age…”!
You are the model of middle age they are seeing in action, leave your mark well!…TRACK
Don’t try an be one of them, be yourself! Once they see you relaxed, may ask you questions about life, problems. They may see you as more mother image, so trying to fit in with daughters not good, just saying. You are more mature grown-up. Yes, and todays’ younger women want to answer back with comment a good part of the time.
Stay to yourself a little more, and let them see the confidece you have in yourself!…TRACK
Hi,
Been there, done that. I went to college to study as a nurses’ aid at 41 with mostly 20 to 30 year olds and a few my age. I did not fit in. I was once told by a teacher that I had ‘too much’ confidence in myself! What? Yep. It seemed that the others felt intimidated by me. I was almost always the one answering the teachers’ questions, often giving my opinion or examples of life experiences I had had that the others didn’t, I even corrected the teachers a few times.
After the teachers’ comment about my being too confident I started out by not trying to be the first one to answer when the teacher asked a question and let others answer. I noticed that the other students started to participate a lot more in class discussions. I guess I had been monopolising without noticing it. I still did not fit in 100% but that was O.K.. I just did my assignements, graduated and have worked on and off with a few of them over the years and we get along.
You don’t have to be friends with everyone. Friendly was close enough for me since we hardly had anything in common except for the course we were taking.
anir
Both Track and Anir have given you good feedback. They are emotionally and life experience wise in a very very different place. The more you try to fit in, the worst it will be. I recommend you reframe your mindset so that you are accept sharing an educational experience at the same time, but that is all you can expect to share. If it becomes anything more with anyone, then it will be a pleasant surprise, a lagniappe if you will.