Women 50+ know: Low-pressure ways to meet a man Hot Conversation

1. Join a group that shares your interests or hobby. From Erica in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Are there singles groups in your area? Do have any hobbies? You’ll make friends and expand your social circle.”
Online Dating for Women Over 50: Tips and strategies to find the love you want—regardless of age

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2. Shop for groceries on Sunday evenings/nights. From JanDeelstra in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Apparently many men procrastinate until after all the sports programs play, and have to go grab groceries for the coming week. The stores are loaded with men on Sunday afternoons!”
3. Try ballroom dance lessons. From SallieB in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Look for a dance studio in your nearest town and begin to take ballroom dance lessons. No partner is required and the parties are an excellent and relaxed way to meet men.”
4. Do some volunteer work. From mariagraziaswan in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Some volunteer jobs are good, Habitat for Humanity is one of them, no need to be a skilled construction worker, that’s the beauty of it, plenty of men to teach you, you can go once a week or once a month and it is very rewarding.”
5. Get some exercise. From roadtripdreamer in Later-in-life divorce
“After being single for 4 years, I met a man right under my nose – worked out at the same club, but neither of us realized the other was single. Now 16 years of marriage later, we are still having the time of our lives and have never looked back.”
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6. Finding a man is like finding a job….network, network, network. From Mistygirl in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Tell your friends and family that you may be ready to date or how nice it would be to share your interests with someone else. I met the man of my dreams while learning to ride a motorcycle and I wasn’t even looking.

“Believe me there is no shortage of single men over 50 riding motorcycles. No not all riders are tattooed and bearded. Most of them are executives, lawyers, and CPA’s.

“I know riding is not for everyone but the point is develop an interest that is poplar with men as well as women and they will be there. Your chances of meeting a man in your book club or quilting circle is pretty slim. And remember don’t wait for someone ask you out, you can ask too. Have fun!”

7. Wait in line. From mariagraziaswan in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Anyplace where you must wait in line, just take your time an don’t line up until you see someone interesting. Try the post office; shows; car wash (you wait for the car); dog parks, establishments where they play jazz. These are general ideas that can be applied in any city, at any age.”
8. Get really clear about the sort of partner you are looking for. From JanDeelstra in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Write it down. Detail is key here! Does he drink, smoke or cuss? Or is he a gentle giant? Is he blonde or brunette or redhead? What does he enjoy? What will you share in common? Like to travel?

“Want a guy that appreciates art? Go to galleries. Want a guy that enjoys baseball/football, etc.? Go to games. Go to places alone, or with friends, places that you enjoy and that recharge your batteries and creativity.”

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9. Use a dating service. From Dr. Coach Love in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“When I divorced at 50 after 30 years of marriage (25 of it satisfying), I first ‘practiced’ describing myself, what I wanted from life, and the type of person I was seeking.

“I studied the dating columns and mostly got a chuckle. I broke the ice with phone conversations and a few meet and greets—always following safety rules. My first dates after 32yrs are interesting stories (at least to me).

“I compared the dating and introduction services and signed on with one. It was a wonderful adventure and I met my delightful husband of 6 years through it. I highly recommend that method of meeting men. It shrinks geography and can be an efficient screening mechanism. This is my long story short. Happy adventuring!”

10. Try eHarmony.com. From Sharon3 in dating

“They do an in-depth questionnaire and match you with someone with whom you have common interests, likes, dislikes, etc. I have two friends who have used them and while not yet married, are happily meeting nice men. It is difficult to meet men ‘by chance’ as while you may like the way they look, you have no idea what they are like, or even if they are married, etc. Unless you introduced by friends, a good dating service is safer and more likely to produce a good ‘match.’”
11. Seriously, try eHarmony.com. It worked for VN blogger Sarah Gayle Carter. From Sarah G. Carter in Finding love online (journal entry 8)
“Russ and I ‘met’ just after Christmas last year about a month after I halfheartedly re-joined eHarmony.com. …We had a great time e-bantering back and forth for about a week in what they call ‘open communication.’ Then he asked if he could call. …We had talked for eleven hours. …As I said to Russ the next day, ‘I’m not sure what to call this, but one thing is for sure, something just happened.’”
12. Stop looking, and learn to love yourself. From JanDeelstra in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Meeting people on this planet is easy. Learning to love yourself, fill your own needs makes you more attractive. Start with you.

“Read all the good books, see all the current trends, listen to music in the current genres, and be really good to yourself. You will become attractive. You will attract men, as opposed to going out to hunt them down. …And when you stop looking, he’ll be there. He will find you.”

Online Dating for Women Over 50: Tips and strategies to find the love you want—regardless of age

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Posted in love & sex, women 50+ know this.

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36 Responses

  1. Generic Image grannydm says

    The response are just words. I belong to several different groups I attend church,concerts,senior classes at the university.I’m trying to exercise at home because my arthritis is to bad for a gym I do volunteer work just to get me from saying in the house.I don’t plan on going out there and hunt men. but that still doesn’t help get over the loneliness and the emotionally feelings that come and go. All the perky little suggestion are not what I would consider bedroom talk.

    8 like

  2. awwwwshux awwwwshux says

    The only suggestion above that’s worth pursuing, in my opinion, is something like “Habitat for Humanity”. Stay away from the motorcycle groups unless you want a man convinced he is “cool” enough for 20-somethings (even if he is bald and paunchy). And online dating is okay if you don’t mind giving him months to sort through the endless possibilities of women who are willing to sleep with them on the first date (this was verified by a recent poll). Why would a man settle for one woman when he can string along four or five? The last date I had with a man I met online took place with his blackberry on the table, so he could watch for text messages! It’s VERY hard for women our age. I’ve been single nine years, and I don’t see it getting any better!

    6 like

  3. Generic Image deborahlynn says

    I realize that when your lonely,those sugestions seem like empty words.But the one thing I do know is that in order to get the love you deserve and need, you have to get in touch with how you truly feel about yourself. How you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself and if you truly love yourself? If you dont love, care and respect yourself you attract the same in a mate to yourself. If you love yourself, then you will attract someone who will also love you. We all say we love ourselves but we dont like our bodies, the way we talk,think or act sometimes. We put ourselves down in our private conversations to ourselves. If the truth be told, we dont believe we deserve love and happiness.All of these are not loving yourself. We have to see ourselves as the beautiful creatures God created and love ourselves as He does. Unconditionally.

    I was in a relationship for 6 yrs. that did not end so nice. But it was a turning point in my life that was a chance and challenge for me to truly look at myself. I realized that I was not loving myself. To make a long story short , I cried, prayed and praised my way through it. I went to therapy to understand and deal with the what,when, why and how
    I do what I do. When I was done, I understood who I was , what I want and how to get it. I learned to be true to myself. For 2 years I dated myself, buying myself flowers, going out by myself and just treating myself the way I wanted to be treated. loving myself. Then one day during my daily prayer /meditation, I asked God to send me the person you have for me. And in just joking with God I said, “I,m not going to look for anybody, just bring her to me.” I want you to know that one of the most beautiful women Ive ever seen came to my door with fresh flowers that she picked from her garden. She was like a shy little girl with a big smile on her face. That was the begining of a story of true love, the way I prayed and created it to be. There is more to the story , you,ll have to let me know if you want to hear it another time, I think I have talked too much now. God Bless.

    7 like

  4. Tipanna Tipanna says

    Hi, I’m new here. Glad to have found this
    I’ve been on eHarmony for a long time and
    still haven’t met one single man who appeals to me. Obviously they don’t like me either. lol
    The eHarmony people say my profile is almost 100% great but still…
    So it’s not easy to find a good man.
    I’m looking for a vegetarian, a person who would love to move up north to rural country and someone who would not treat me like Second-Hand Rose. My ex did that for over 20+ years.
    I’m feeling lonely now too the more time that goes by and I don’t make a connection with someone.
    My advice is what I practice myself, Never Give Up! There’s always hope.

    3 like

    • Joie Joie says

      eHarmony emailed me after I applied once to join, saying I did not have a single match in their system.  One of the best laughs I had that week!

      4 like

      • Generic Image v1ella says

        I also received that result from eharmony.com years ago when it was first created. At the time, I was very hurt by this because I assumed that something was very wrong with me. I’m glad to see that I wasn’t the only “unmatchable”.

        2 like

  5. Generic Image Single & Happy says

    Oh, please!  These are the best suggestions out there?  About the only one that makes sense is #7, if you’re a chatty sort.  #12 is the most important.  I tried eHarmony, too.  My answers gave me a 6% chance!  Seems if you’re not an outdoorsy type, that eliminates most guys in their pool.  So I decided to be happy with my life just as it is.  And I am.  If someone comes along, great!  If not, that’s fine, too.  Like the old song says, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!”

    4 like

    • szannis szannis says

      I love your response.  I, too, think the above suggestions are old, pat, uninformed pablum. (spelling)  My e-Harmony story is the worst!  One Sat. night, alone, somewhat down, I took their hour-long “interview.”  Their response?  ”Sorry, there is no one in our database for you.”  Thank God I can laugh!   

      4 like

      • Generic Image soupgurl says

        Funny about your posting.  I have tried FarmersOnly, Match, and eHarmony, which is the profile that I tried, failing at that, last night.  E-Harmony said that I was in the minority that they are not able to match up to anyone in their database, but they wished me luck with my search.  Sorta sad when an online computer deems you unlikely to find love via online matchmaker.  Eegads.  I have just put this in God’s hands and just know that when the time is right, he is gonna come into my life and I have to accept the fact that it may never happen.  Hopefully, if it does happen, it won’t be as extreme as what happened to Meg Ryan in “City of Angels”.  Nice to know that I am not alone in my bouts of POM partytime (Poor Old Me).  Thanks for listening.

        3 like

      • Joie Joie says

        As I mention in my other post here, eHarmony emailed me saying they had no one in their system matching my intersts.

        FarmersOnly appealed to me because I have occasional bouts of wishing I were back in Nature more than I currently am. It was refreshing to see photos of one’s tractor vs. one’s motorcycle – the photo that so many like to post their legs astraddle. An instant “next” to me as motorcycles and leather don’t fit my interest either! (POF Plenty of Fish is famous for that crowd)

        After a decade mostly to myself, I am looking for some great companionship, and trying to not believe every guy wants someone under 35, but it is more prevalent than not it would seem.  Someone feel free to prove me wrong!


        2 like

      • Generic Image halo says

        get out…………thats really what they said?

        1 like

  6. Generic Image alaskangal says

    I sometimes think that I want to meet some nice man.  I wonder if I really need someone else in my life. Yea, doing things alone all the time is a drag or can pull me down.  However the freedom of being and living alone has it’s benifits. Since I don’t live where any these “Tips” can be tried I can’t comment on them beyond that it seems like an awfull lot of work or energy outlay for littel or no return.

    2 like

  7. gingit4 gingit4 says

    I tried eharmony and ended up meeting only one man.  When I would not sleep with him after the first date he said it was a “deal breaker.”  HUH?  What deal?  He was 80 with hearing aids, bottle glasses, fallen arches, overweight and going bald.  Not physically attractive but had a wonderful intellect.  I still find it amazing that men consider themselves attractive no matter what condition they are in.   I find that men’s ads ask women to sleep with them by using code words like sensual, affectionate, etc.  I wrote eharmony and said they should have a section for men who just wanted to sleep with women!  There wouldn’t be many men left in the other section I’ll bet.  Anyhow, I keep up hope that there are still some good apples in the basket.

    12 like

  8. Adornments by Milani Adornments by Milani says

    Ladies, I have one word for you…golf.  With a ratio of 200 to 1 (seriously), you will most certainly be noticed by the men.  Find a nice golf course, take golf lessons, and buy yourself a cute golf outfit.  If you don’t have the slightest desire to play, take your children or grandchildren for lessons.  Either way, you will have a nice view of …um, the golf course;)

    1 like

    • Joie Joie says

      ASGA = American Singles Golf Association. Fun Busy Group especially if you live in the warm weather SouthEast. Location makes it not possible for me to belong right now, but when I did, it was at least a good Sunday in the Sunshine every other weekend with opportunities to do other activities thru the week.

      2 like

  9. Generic Image Blessedbee says

    If I was single–I’d enroll in a martial arts class and/or take golf lessons and practice at the driving range!

    1 like

  10. Generic Image Astoria says

    And I thought I was the only one the have eHarmony tell me that no one in the universe was a good match for me.  I have tried other Free and Pay online dating and every single time I was disappointed in who turned up.  Men who didn’t look like their photos, showed up in flip-flops and ragged clothes, asked me to pay…I could go on.  Men that are older than I am (53) tend to be very old in every way, or interested in starting a new family (ikes, that will never happen, even if I could!).  It seems that all the good ones are not available at this time, so I am concentrating on my career.  Maybe when I retire and take those Senior Tours, the right man for me will sit next to me on the bus.  Until then, I stay cautiously optimistic and still believe in happily-ever-after.

    But I will say, the golf lessons does sound promising.  I’ll let you know if I try it out.

    3 like

    • kattoy kattoy says

      I have been on E-Harmony, Match.com..and several others. and find that the men… are mostly just the same as those on the street. Most seem to be looking for and expecting something younger and/or biologically impossible.

      For some reason they feel they deserve arm candy, who likes do everything they do, while not having to try anything ne themselves. They would prefer you came with golf clubs. 

      Some, have seem to resent that I have a career, and can’t drop everything to jump to their beck and call. They are not offering to pay the bills either, not that I’d let them.

      And their pictures are almost always taken so their face is shaded and their neck wattle doesn’t show…

      their hump and poor posture means they still aren’t 5’10″ and rounding up on height and 10#+ down on weight is not accurate. But, we better be willing to step on a scale.

      They also do not understand that erectile dysfunction is just a pre tremor symptom of much larger medical issues, and not a simple sign of aging.

      If they can’t keep up with me, walking on cobblestone, in heels, when I am shorter? Why and how will they keep up with me in real life.

      The younger ones, are all hoping that I am desperate enough to just settle for and have sex and will be really thankful. As, in, paying for dinner, drinks or providing financial incentive! (Yes, I have been felt out if not asked directly)

      I am 57… going on 37 maybe… without children, but not rich.

      I haven’t given up, but I don’t kiss frogs, thinking they may turn into something else.

      I ask lots of questions, google and also do searches  in public records for civil suits, felonies, tax leins and such…. You would be surprised at who has a history of domestic abuse!

      I go on adventures, have friends and have learned self gratification is better than putting up with a gassy, snoring warm body, who does not contribute to the qyuality of my life.

      20 like

      • Dermadene Dermadene says

        Amen sister!

        0 like

      • Generic Image Kalli says

        Hello sister!  Yes I have had exactly the same experience.  I may be wrong, but I have come to certain conclusions about men in general at the tender age of 55.  I believe that, whatever it is you have met initially, is as good as it is ever going to get.  From there, most men start looking for ways to give less and less, not more.  So, he had better knock my socks off from the get go, or I am not interested.  Everyone deserves to fall deeply, deliciously in love.  That’s not to say there won’t be challenges, but if you don’t truly admire, respect and adore your partner, you will not have the strength to weather them.  I’m not settling for anything less.  I’ve also had to remind men my age that I am looking at sharing my life, not surrendering it.  You don’t have to share all of my interests, but we should have sufficient overlap to warrant spending some time together.  So go, watch your NFL football with the guys – don’t expect me to sit on the couch for 4 hours Sunday afternoon with you.  I’ll see you at dinner :-)

        7 like

      • Generic Image aet9rat6 says

        Kalli,,,, I love that!!

        1 like

      • Carpe Connie Carpe Connie says

        Sometimes a frog is just a frog…In fact, a frog is just a frog and never a prince!

        1 like

    • Joie Joie says

      Was his name “Ray”  LOL – sorry Ray was a classic “lesson” for me recently.

      0 like

      • Generic Image Anonymous says

        Joie:  YES, I know Ray!!! 

        1st date- I needed to lose weight.  (I’ve not had a man complain yet especially when paired with 36 G’s)

        2nd date- My eyes weren’t blue enough.  (Other guys tell me that I have beautiful, really blue eyes.)

        3rd date- I didn’t know how to kiss. (Every other guy says I’m a great kisser.  Ummm, Ray, do ya think you need new false choppers?).

        Date 4. I needed to fix the scratches on my car.  (It’s MY friggin car and are you going to pay for the paint job for a few scratches?)

        Date 5, 6, & 7.  Why do I have a VCR/DVD instead of a DVR?  (Duh, Dumb-ass, so I can use my VCR for older exercise tapes.)  Why don’t I make my son get a job and why is he staying with me.  (Duh, Dumb-ass, he’s my son!).  On and on.  8 dates later, he drove 25 miles to see me in 2 1/2 weeks and couldn’t find one thing he didn’t criticize!  On our last date- date #8 I finally asked, “Is there anything you find appealing about me?”  His response, “Do you want me to tell you that you’re attractive.”  I said, “No, not if you have to lie.”  He said nothing.  I’m told all the time that I’m beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, cute and even smokin’ yet Ray complained.  And then, and then, the moron didn’t understand why I wouldn’t see him anymore.

        Dating sites suck.  I don’t think even they know what they want.

        4 like

  11. Generic Image becky13 says

    Great website!!  I could sure use some advice….For a woman like me who is not comfortable at all in dating situations, or even getting TO a dating situation with a man, I have no idea how that even begins to happen.  I’m not a social person, can’t carry on a real conversation if I have to start it, and I’m so self-conscious I nearly cripple myself in social situations.  I’m a professional woman with a 30-yr career in law enforcement, and I’ve raised four sons, by myself.  I’ve been single a long time, now,have an empty nest and love it.  So… how do I go out and find a man I can enjoy and have some fun with?  I’m confident with my looks and my body, just clueless about how to find a social life.  Any help out there, or do I sound as dumb as I think I do?  :-)

    7 like

  12. Generic Image gigihorse says

    I have started dating after 8 years of being single.  I want to go slow and my partner things I am going too slow any ideas??

    0 like

  13. Generic Image roseann says

    I seem to live in a “world of widows.” I became one 2 years ago. I can very, quickly name at least 10 windows in my immediate area. I don’t think I could name 3 windowers.  I don’t really know if I miss having a man in my life, or if I just miss the life I had.  I am certainly not happy being alone. I don’t have family close by. I try to stay busy with activities and volunteering, but still too many hours in the day and night. I do know 3 woman who met their current husbands at bereavement groups. I sure wasn’t ready to meet anyone when I attended a bereavemen group.  I guess I’ll just have to see what God’s plan for me is.


    3 like

  14. Generic Image Kalli says

    Great advice!  I didn’t realize you could take ballroom dancing without a partner, I will definitely check it out.  As for eHarmony, after spending hours painstakingly completing their in depth questionairre, I was told there were no suitable matches for me.  Just what my ego needed to hear. 

    3 like

    • Five to Nine Five to Nine says

      This is hilarious!  Same thing happened to me with eHarmony — “no suitable matches at this time”.  I’ve been unemployed for some time so yep, this is just what I needed; not only am I being rejected by employers, a computer can’t find anyone who wants me on a personal level either – LOL!

      I have had success with meeting men online.  I was with one for 10 years and the other for five, so I know it can work.  But at this point, I ain’t payin’ to find someone to eventually break my heart.  I’m lonely and I don’t mind admitting it.  I know how to live by myself very well but I want someone to share it with.  But at this point, in my mid-50s, I’m more than willing to wait and see if The Universe decides to bring him my way.  If not, well, I guess I’ll live my life as ‘the old lady with the cats’ (I have two!)



      4 like

  15. Generic Image KMC says

    I agree with No. 12 approach to just love yourself, fill your needs and just be attractive. It will come naturally to meet the right person at the right time. Timing is key and responsibility is pertinent. Enjoy life. Trust God and believe.

    1 like

  16. GloriaMia GloriaMia says

    I too have tried EHarmony recently, and Senior Meet. No luck for me yet. Not expecting much though. It feels like I was meant to be alone. Does that sound weird? I’m really a very outgoing, friendly person, and not hard to look at, at all. I don’t know exactly what it is. I have a malte-pooh who adores me, a grown family terribly envolved in their own lives and issues, and a full time job that just wears me out. I don’t miss having a man in my life. I don’t feel like something is missing, as so many sing’, baby boomers I speak with do. Would I like to find a male “friend”. Yes. I’d like to find one, who was actually capable of being, a friend, and go from there. My life’s experience has been men who want to flaunt me, or just have affairs with me, and I’m not up for either. 

    2 like

    • Sunblossom Sunblossom says

      GloriaMia….I met my current partner on e-harmony….we have been together 7 years….it took a while to get some good matches tho’.    We are very good friends, I would say we are best friends for each other, but not to the exclusion of other friends in our lives…..I think that is part of the key to having things work…..I believe we were very well matched by e-harmony…..we are very compatible, but with an edge that let’s our individualism come through and still work in the relationship…..when I met him, I was at the point where I was ok being alone, and not so “needy” as I was immediately post-divorce…..I did have to weed out some men who just were not going to work out for me…interestingly a couple of the guys I went out with seemed very desperate, not to flaunt me or have an affair, they simploy wanted to be married again and I think were willing to take the next willing person….I hope you have great success….

      0 like

  17. Generic Image Fran_D says

    For what it’s worth … listen to Michael Buble’s song, “Haven’t Met You Yet.”  It’s timeless and you can’t help but come away feeling a bit more optimistic and happy after listening to it.  It’s uplifted my spirits on more than one occasion when feeling blue, that I don’t have that someone “special” in my life right now that I keep waiting/hoping for.

    0 like

    • Alicia Alicia says

      Gaccckkk….been on all the dating sites….even millionairesmatch.com…..still on Plenty of Fish (poh); I call it Plenty of Carp…abysmal!  Been looking for 5 years; finally given it to God.  HE knows how I HATE being by myself.


      Did speed dating (icik)

      3 like

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