“Buy a nice dress, stay out of the limelight (unless your step-daughter asks you to partake in some area) and have a drink!”
“I would just enjoy the day, maybe not go with the mindset of getting through it. It is your hubby’s daughter after all and he will hopefully be joyous for her. If it were me, I would just stand by his side and exhibit a lot of gentle grace as he dances with his daughter and sends her off on her married life”
“Be gracious just as you have set out to be. This day if for mother and daughter. Don’t allow your family to say derogatory things about your ex or his new wife/girlfriend. Take the upper road and to the stepmom. Your friendship is all you will ever have with his daughter. The fastest way to ruin that is to ruin her wedding. This day is not about either of you. Let your daughter/step pick out the color and style of your gown and even your hair and make-up. If she does not want to, at least let her see pictures of a few favorites of yours and give her a choice. In every way possible let this be her day and support her happiness. “
“My daughter is onto her 3rd step-mom. Finally a wise woman with a son of her own. Since she entered 10 years ago, we have all gradually become close and now celebrate holidays, birthdays, etc. together. It is not only good for our daughter, but good for us, since we each have small families. No one feels threatened. At my daughter’s wedding 9 years ago, she was there and was gracious – as was I. Her father and I gave her away together – it was her wish. Re: seating – we had a separate small table for just the bride and groom – front and center, side by side – and we all shared a round table beside them. We celebrated them, not our pecking order. By the way, I believe the first person to love is yourself. Then you will shine, no matter what you wear or where you sit. Good luck!”
“Above all be gracious and don’t whisper any resentments to anyone during the wedding!Only do what you’re asked to do by your step-daughter and get through the day knowing that you will be in the limelight as well. People will be watching your behavior and how you handle it.”
“There is always someone who tries to steal the joy of the bride and groom on their wedding day. Don’t let that be you. Invariably, it makes that person look insecure and overbearing. “
“One thing I suggest (being a step-mother myself) is to ask your step-daughter if she has anything she’d like you to do. If not, be happy that you’re free to relax and enjoy yourself. If she does ask you to do or be somewhere, do it with grace to make her day special and for your husband. They will both remember and appreciate you.”
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just be yourself, andhave a good time. if she needs you be there for.
thank you all for this–I will be attending my step-granddaughter’s Bat Mitzvah in Connecticutt–I think all of your eplies about the step-daughter getting married is also applicable to my situation with the Bat Mitzvah–I am not comfortable flying, so that is one big drawback from me going–however I would love to be there–any suggestions on overcoming my reluctance to fly? I will be flying from St. Louis to New York City. I had a bad experience on a flight about 10 years ago and have not flown since.