From JoanPrice in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
I think we are all capable of joy-filled, fulfilling sex at our age if we learn to express (gently) what we need and understand the changes in our partner and in our relationship as we age.
From 2melifeisgood in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
Love making is better than I ever thought it would be at 56 1/2! I’ve got a man who knows the meaning of making love. Our sessions are filled with passion that I have never felt before. Who ever thought this would ever be? We both giggle at times and feel like a couple of kids.
From shopgirl57 in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
Sex was something I was so afraid of trying again, as I hated it with my ex, but now I can’t get enough and I am willing to please my man, as he is always willing to please me. What a refreshing change life has been.
From CBW in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
I ended my 38 yr loveless marriage at age 60, then later hooked up with my first college boyfriend…and over time we rekindled all the passion of our teens….He has gifted me with the understanding that lovemaking at this stage (65 and 64) is really “pleasuring” each other and that there are many ways (manual, oral, vaginal) to have full-blown satisfaction over the hours we spend in throes of passion. Other than our mature bodies, which aren’t as flexible as we’d like sometimes, our sexual relationship is every bit as exciting as it was back in 1964!
From Chuffed in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
I revived my youthful love of “making out” for long sessions and discovered that men love it, too — they get gaga over great kissing — so many of them have been deprived for so long. I just ended one longish relationship, but remember asking him one glorious afternoon in bed if he’d ever thought sex could be so great at 53, and he said it was a revelation — he’d never expected to be with someone who made him feel so lusty and passionate.
From dddanse in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
After losing my husband, my best friend, my soul mate, I thought I’d never find sex as much fun again as it had been with him. We had a great sex life with a lot of fun. We were married 33 years and together 35….Have not yet found the man who makes me feel as complete as my husband did, but having a lot of fun “shopping” around.
From missbhaven in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
I recently reunited with a man from my past. He is 67, I am 69. He is the most generous lover I have ever known, and I have known a few….It was the summer of ’61 when last I saw his face, which has changed in the last 47 yrs. He is a matured, well-adjusted, passionate man with all his knowledge intact. He’s patient and thorough, and I have experienced with him something I never had before….Life is good.
From Aging Aphrodite in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
I was petrified of intimacy and it took seven months before I even let him kiss me good night. I was not even attracted to him physically in the beginning. He eventually wore me down with kindness, patience and wonderful listening skills. Long story short, we eventually made love and it was so amazing. Neither one of us has kept our youthful physique, but that does not even factor into our passion for each other. The biggest surprise was how much fun we are having exploring our aging bodies. Our first weekend away, we skipped supper and breakfast and just made love over and over again. Who new we could still accomplish this at our advanced ages? I am 57 and he is 68….We are so comfortable we can joke and work through our performance anxieties with our egos still intact, and our relationship is stronger than ever.
From SRW in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
Our friendship quickly evolved into true love. We are now married and I am awestruck at the amazing love life we now share. I thought this was all over… I had issues about my aging, inperfect body but what I see as old and overweight he describes as soft and curvy….He not only accepts me as I am but loves me as I am….This to me is a turn-on, just knowing he wants me!
From Maggieru in What surprised you most about sex after 50?
When it is good, it stays good. I am 67 and my husband was 70 in October and sex is great. We aren’t as agile — sometimes have a little sore muscles if we get too ambitious — but as good or better than ever. After 49 years together, we know each other, our likes, and the other’s body well enough to make it work, and there are no signs of us stopping yet.
| FREE SPECIAL REPORT: Women over 50 share their expertise in our FREE special report Women 50+ Know This: Favorite Recommendations from Vibrant Women about Managing Adult Children, Sex After 50, Divorce, Giving Back, Spirituality, Great Books, and the Perfect Lotion for Dry Skin. |
0 like
Permalink: http://www.vibrantnation.com/women-50-know-this/women-50-know-great-sex-after-50/
Social Bookmarks:
Posted in love & sex, women 50+ know this.
Related posts:
- What Great or not so Great Dogs have you known or owned?
- 5 things women should know about love by age 50
add your responses
35 Responses
Stay in touch with the conversation. Subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Copyright © 2012 Vibration Nation. All Rights Reserved.
THIS MAKES ME
) WONDERFUL!
My marriage of 25 years ended one year ago. After not having sex with my ex husband for over 15 years (part of the problem of leaving) I thought I would never have it, let alone enjoy it again. At 53 I felt I still had a lot to offer the right person however I now have a man in my life (he’s 60) that has turned my world around and put feelings back in my heart that I’ve never had. Our sex started off slow and with apprehension not knowing what the other person wanted and not even sure if we remembered how to kiss passionately. We can’t get enough of each other now! We love experimenting with crazy and kinky things and pushing the button on how far to go. We always laugh and say that now one would believe that we were having sex this much and doing these things at our age. So if anyone thinks that your sexual passion dies once you hit 50, 55 or even 60……..they are so wrong, my passion is stronger now than it ever has been, even when I was even a teenager!!
Ive been married 29 and a half years and my sex life is once every other month what can I do to spruce it up? My husband is on so much medication that he has no desire help I’m on the edge.
Miss M, I love your story! Would you be willing to have me use it in my new book, Naked at Our Age? Please email me!
Wow so does this mean I should leave my husband after 15or 16 years? We have not had sex for over hummm a long time! Maybe 10 or more years. I would not even think of straying I have too much to lose.l My children,/family. I sometimes think about doing it with another, then I come back to reality! I am 52 yrs old and people tell me I look 35 to 40 yrs old. I don’t look like Miss M, but I still get looks. I think my life was planned this way. My single days I did play the field and now zippo! What do you guys think of self pleasure? Just asking!
I have been married for over thirty years and my husband refers to lovemaking as performing. His use of this term is a complete turnoff.
Last year I caught my husband with another woman and confronted him. Instead of apologizine he defended his relationship saying they were just friends. This may have been so but why did he give her is phone number, hide his phone, never answer my phone calls and keep the relationship going after knowing how I felt. I am so hurt, mad and insulted and cannot get past what he has done. The betrayal alone has made me rethink our thirty years together. I want to leave him because I cannot trust him. Needless to say we do not have sex anymore and he uses the excuse it is because of my bringing the subject up all the time. I bring it up all the time cause I cannot get past it. Advise PLEASE!!!!!
You deserve to be heard!!! Of course you can’t get past it if he won’t talk, won’t express tenderness and regret, and try to make it right between you again.
I guess my answer to your question is another question: DO YOU LOVE HIM? Do you feel like you can happily live out the rest of your lives together like this? My guess is not. Somehow (some) men seem to only be able to think of themselves in bed. They think that their presence in the act is enough for the partner. denying us of passion, tenderness, and intimacy that a woman needs in order to be fulfilled in the relationship. And true intimacy goes way past the bedroom, it needs to be a factor in every part of the marriage. Get some counseling and try to get him to go with you. Don’t allow him to punish you by manipulating and throwing the monkey on your back. Take control of your life to the best of your ability. You’ll be glad you did.
WALK!!!!!!! This would need mutual work…and it does not appear to be coming from him.!
Is passion essential in a relationship.
I was married for 22 years and passion was NEVER an issue….but lots of other things were. Now having been divorced for 8 years I have met a man that is a good match in many ways other than “passion”…….he says he doesnt feel anything…..and I am “too big” inside…..any suggestions?
Sound’s like he’s too small outside.
Good answer!!! Why do we always let ourselves be put down?
Your sexuality is alive and well, and you deserve a match who enjoys you, satisfies you, adores your body just the way it is, and doesn’t blame you if something doesn’t work.
Men will say the darndest things when they can’t deal with their own (ahem) shortcomings. It might help to do Kegel exercises, but in addition to that, if I were you, I’d look elsewhere. That feeling inside is very much in the eye (?!) of the beholder and what one man finds tight the next might find “loose”. But even then, varying positions can make it work. Basically, two people have to “fit” to be compatible, though much of that “fit” is more in the brain than in the genitals. Trust me!
What? You’re too big inside? Maybe he’s just too small on the outside. Yes, I think some physical intimacy is very important in a relationship, excuses are a cop out. If you had passion for 22 years and enjoyed that part of your marriage then I would expect that you still need it. No???
Reminds me of a Sex In The City eipsode, Sam the nympho had fallen for this sweet, attentive guy and she wanted to keep the relationship going, but he was small and the sex was terrible. She agreed to counseling, and when she told him what her issue was he stormed out blaming her. She shrugged at the therapist and said, Well, I need a big one! Therapist said: Honey I hear that!! Too funny!
I was shocked when after my hysterectomy nerves were cut and pleasure dropped to almost zero. No one told me this would happen. I had major orgasms before. Now I just remember.
Time to call a lawyer!
I had a total hysterectomy. I am lucky that I can still have orgasims but find vaginal sex extremely painful. I am on hormone pills but that is not working. I guess we are still in the research age for women and hysterectomies.
I just turned 50 and the man I’m seeing is 64. (Vanity made him fib at first…he’d led me to believe he was 57 when I’d casually asked “How old are you? 57, 58?” and he mumbled a non-commital “uh-huh”. Lolll) He could easily pass for 57 in our out of bed. Despite our 14-year age difference, I’ve never known anyone so passionate, and his experience helps too. We are a perfect fit in so many ways.
If this is what my fifties will be like, bring it on! NO loss of libido whatsoever, quite the contrary. Sometimes it is a matter of finding the right person though. Or if you already have a partner, trying new things and ditching the old routine.
I met my husband when I was 49 and he was 59. He initially didn’t want me to know his real age until, one day, I grabbed his birth certificate…I was surprised because he does not look his age. I never realized that a relationship could be this fantastic! The age difference is insignificant! I’m totally loving my fifties. We’ve been together now for four years and it just keeps getting better and better.
What do you do if you find yourself, more in need of physical intimacy, after 50 than before, and w/o a partner. I know ‘all the good men aren’t taken, however, I also know there are a lot of creeps out there.
Help.
I’d like to hear an answer to that too… I am in the same boat
Polywog, how about starting a new thread with this topic so that it doesn’t get lost in this topic? We could have a dynamic discussion about this.
- Joan
I think the thing to remember is that you DO need physical intimacy and passion; perhaps even more after 50. I think a lot of us heard that sex wasn’t going to be that important after we hit the big 50 but it just ain’t so. I faked it for many years (I was married for 25 and the last 12 were “sans sex”) so that my ex wouldn’t feel inadequate. But, of course, I ended up feeling inadequate. When I decided that I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life without good sex I had to think about how I could change the outcome. It isn’t easy to find someone no matter how old or young you are but the best way to start is to be a bit of a rebel. I read about sex, talked about sex, did sexy things for myself. I went on more than one dating site. I went to school, took up things I had long ago put away like scuba diving and dancing. I am now in a great relationship (it took some time) and I remember, so vividly, looking directly into the eyes of my current lover and feeling that we were both intriguing and exciting. Not only do we touch, kiss deeply and experiment but we talk! Am I slower at reaching HOT? Well, perhaps, but tantric sex is what we call it..Don’t give up. I think the idea is to work on yourself because you’ve still got it and now you should flaunt it!
I want this tooooo. I am starving for love and affection.
Wow me tooo! and I am married! That’s sad
Ladies,
Just wondering where are you all meeting these great men. Any suggestions…I just don’t think I can do the Match.com avenue.
Why not? You might be in for some fun-if nothing more than talking online. Try it!
Try PlentyofFish.com. I went there on a lark with an online platonic friend and there are scads of men available there. If I were available, I’d probably try it out. Oh and I’m 66 and most of what I know about men, I learned after 54. LOL
Another fun place to play is http://www.tagged.com I put that I was “in a relationship” to be able to pick and choose who I wanted to talk with OR NOT..
I met a man on POF and decided to have coffee with him. That was four years ago. We were married the following year and it’s getting better and better! I was very lucky, don’t you think?
What is POF ?
Girl, I met my hubby of 8 yrs on datingfaces.com and he’s 53 and NEEDS NO VIAGRA WHATSOEVER !!! lolol ! Seriously,tho…they are out there..and it’s fun to chat even of you don’t date any of them but they ARE out there… ;o)))
I met my man at age 50 and he just turned 50 and we have the most phenomenal sex there is. Maybe because we have nothing to worry about. He is not big in size, but he knows how to work it. I am really into him now. I am nearing 52 in 50 days and he just turned 50 on June 17.