Vibrant Nation

Women 50+ Know: How to shed clutter to simplify their lives

VN members's avatar Posted on Wednesday, July 08, 2009 by VN members
Julie Morgenstern 1. Understand that SHEDding is different from organizing.
From Julie Morgenstern in Find your next self: 6 differences between SHEDing and organizing
"The process I call SHEDing involves four steps for methodically releasing objects and activities that represent the past so we can mobilize in the face of change--and embrace the next exciting chapter of life."
Julie Morgenstern 2. Understand that clutter isn't junk.
From Julie Morgenstern in 6 tips for redefining yourself in the empty nest
"I think of clutter as a point of entry into an old belief system, an attachment you have that represents something to you. Starting to dislodge these things and get unfrozen is transformational. Honoring that this stuff has meaning is an important part of the transformation process."
Theedge464 3. Really see the clutter.
From Theedge464 in SHED your stuff, change your life
"Let me add that when I first decided to clean my clutter, although short-lived, I took a pic of the room from different angles to show my counselor. The pictures caused me to really "see" the clutter. I could not see it when I lived in it."
Julie_G 4. Ask, "What do I want out of life?"
From Julie_G in SHED your stuff, change your life
"I'm finding that my ability to clear out the clutter is tied to how focused I am on what I want out of life. If I have a clear picture of who I want to be, it's easier to look at things and decide what fits and what doesn't. This works better for me than the "If you haven't used it in a year..." rule, because there are some things I'm keeping in anticipation of the life I want, not the life I have now. I also think letting go of the past is easier when you let go of the stuff of the past."
Julie Morgenstern 5. Purge by area, not one thing at a time
From Julie Morgenstern in 10 ways to SHED the clutter in your life
"Go through your house and find 5 very stagnant areas. With each one, ask yourself, "If all this were gone what would I miss?" Instantly you will recognize the treasures. Heave everything that's not on the list."
April L. Hamilton 6. Not every inheritance is an heirloom
From April L. Hamilton in A ten-step guide to guerrilla neat freakery
"Family silver, complete sets of china place settings, bibles and hand-embroidered linens are absolutely worth saving for the next generation. Cartoon character glasses from fast-food establishments, melamine dishes, warped Tupperware and incomplete board game sets, not so much. And one more thing: don’t just store those bona-fide heirlooms, use them! How else will your family and friends get to marvel at Great Grandma’s facility with a needle, or feel like British nobility when you serve them tea?
Edna Rankine 7. Stop saving for "just in case" scenarios.
From Edna Rankine in SHED your stuff, change your life
"One of the things I have learned in the process; the days when someone or I would need 'whatever it is I kept just in case, very seldom materialized and if and when the need did arise, I was unable to locate the stuff in a timely manner because of the clutter.' I am getting better. I know that I need to shed more as I progress towards my hopefully lighter retirement years."
Peg 8. Use home or work transitions as a time to purge.
From Peg in SHED your stuff, change your life
"My husband and I have moved from a house to a smaller apartment. We also moved his office to a carriage house just down the street. He can walk to work, so we are planning on selling our second car. We bought some plastic tubs at Target, and all of our out-of-season clothes and decorations are in those tubs. The tubs are labeled with numbers and we refer to our list to see what the contents are in each. Before we moved last summer, we got rid of anything we hadn't used in a year (except for one tub that's filled with the grown kids' toys and books which we're saving for grandkids). We feel like a huge weight has been lifted from us. And our home seems to be more alive with energy. We have made a commitment to each other that we'll go thru the tubs again on the anniversary of our move."

From kgritts in SHED your stuff, change your life
"I didn't start to de-clutter until my husband was downsized in 2001. We went into major de-cluttering mode to 1) raise money through e-bay, yard sales, etc, 2) take a good look at what we do have so we could utilize it to its fullness and 3) to keep us feeling sane during a really insane time. We have found since then that it is so cleansing to shed what you don't need. The house is easier to clean, things you do have are easier to find when you need them, and you know those idle things (at least you hope) are being used by someone who needed or wanted them. It is a very cleansing experience. In fact, I am home on disability now after some surgery and I am hoping to do some shedding of paperwork and clothing while I'm holed up these next few weeks."

From Pat in SHED your stuff, change your life
"When we sold our house and downsized I discovered just how much "stuff" we held onto. Then we downsized again and life got simpler. After all, it's just "stuff". Now we have time for the important things in life instead of constantly growing to accommodate extra "stuff". I'm looking forward to another downsize."
Kerry 9. Find creative new homes for your purged items.
From Kerry in SHED your stuff, change your life
"As I work through the SHEDding process, I find that I have difficulty throwing anything out if it has any life left in it. So I've gotten creative in finding places that want my "stuff". In addition to garage sales and selling online, I have given my craft supplies I won't use and even partly finished projects to a Seniors Centre. My outdated but workable computer equipment goes to a company that refurbishes equipment then donates it to charities and schools. A friend left her husband and had nothing so I had enough duplicates and extras to set up an entire kitchen for her (or is a child you know leaving home and needs some basics)."

From Cathy Fischer in http://www.freecycle.org/
"Get rid of clutter and make your trash someone else's treasure. Post your wares on this national site and you also may discover something you need and not have to buy new."
Rowena 10. Enjoy the feeling decluttering brings.
From Rowena in SHED your stuff, change your life
"I love the feeling you get when you declutter even just a small portion of your house. I literally feel like a great burden's been lifted from my shoulders and I can breathe more freely and more deeply!"

What are your best tips for SHEDding and decluttering?

responses (15)

Rosemary H's avatar Rosemary …
Rosemary H said to VN members
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I am one of those sentimental ones that have kept letters, school papers my kids brought me home and now find folders, boxes of things from the past.  I must have 50 photo albums or more between my husbad and myself.  We both had lost a first spouse and so I have pictures, memories from him, myself and from the two of us.  My husband died a year now and I am going crazy trying to figure out what to do with everything.  Gave kids some but a lot they don't even want.  My husband was a reader and I gave over 5 boxes of books to Good Will and still have 5 book cases full.  I have almost as much as some libraries.  I enjoy reading too but justt too many to read and I don't think I will live long enough to read them all. 

sierrabravo's avatar sierrabra…
sierrabravo said to Rosemary H
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Sometimes local libraries allow you to donate used books which they sell to beneifit the library and the community. 

Oreo51's avatar Oreo51
Oreo51 said to VN members
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You really need to be in the right frame of mind. I do  it when I am sick up and fed of the clutter and I can't find what I am looking for. So at least for that moment I can be more serious about making a dent than just picking a day to do it. I might not be as organized as I should be but I do get results. Gets rid of some frustrations also. I also ask around to schools and groups what they might be interested in so I can keep them in mind when I do it rather than just a generic donation that might throw it out.

wishin54's avatar wishin54
wishin54 said to Oreo51
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I grew up very poor and I still don't have enough money to make it through the month. I have a hard time throwing away anything. I keep gift bags to receycle them, I have kept my old piano (I don't play - it was for the kids), I keep too many dishes, etc. My dream and desire is to downsize to a motorhome and travel and write. Right now my husband does not want to; he does not want to move from this big old house. Any helpful ideas?

fayetteSIPP's avatar fayetteSI…
fayetteSIPP said to VN members
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As an artist/ writer/collector and book lover can you imagine the treasures i have ( clutter) and i like nice clothes and fashion  i also love a beautiful decorated  house , and a house doesn't look beautifu full of clutter ,since becoming a community servant, I struggle with Clutter also......This is my plan

for everything i bring in take three things out...Go through the house with a big trash bag and fill it up, try doing this three to four times a week ....invite someone over to a special lunch and set out things to give away ...some of us are working at this and will share what works.

l

TRACK's avatar TRACK
TRACK said to fayetteSIPP
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You and I have much in common. I to am a book lover, artist of sort, cook and baker, with nice clothes to boot. Trying to find someone who cares about me help me get rid of nice things. Thanks
P.S. when you wrote this it was my birthday!

invisable's avatar invisable
invisable said to VN members
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Dedicate a day when you are in least demand from outside distractions, preferably home alone and preferably the day before garbage pick-up.

Turn on some of your favorite up-beat music. It's good for keeping your positive energy up.

Ignore the phone if you can.

Then get ruthless about ridding your precious space of obstacles. Don't go down memory lane just yet. Those photos aren't going anywhere so leave them alone until the purging process is over. They have brought my decluttering to screeching halts more  times than mentionable.

Concentrate on one room, preferably the most cluttered. Start with those things that get in your way on a daily basis. If they serve no more purpose now or in the future, they should leave. Be realistic.

Don't worry about cleaning until all the unnecessary clutter in that room is in it's proper place.

Try to keep the ball rolling and continue the process as long and often as you can. It gets easier once you've accomplished the first room.

 

shirleyinnw's avatar shirleyin…
shirleyinnw said to VN members
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I used to be bad at starting collections.   My saving, was the fact I rented and had to move occasionally.    I realized I didn't have a permament home for my collections except in a storage unit.   So promised myself to stop collecting and downsize my stuff.   After moving in with a boyfriend, we both promised not to clutter our new condo.   At least I've kept my end of the deal so far............:)           

fancnancy's avatar fancnancy
fancnancy said to VN members
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why is soooo hard to get rid of things & how do u decide what to keep & what the toss out???what's a memory & what is a necessity?

kaykaydee's avatar kaykaydee
kaykaydee said to VN members
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About the only thing I consider important to hang on to are photographs. Alas, most of my ancestors did not identify the subject(s) of the picture. I can do so with some of them and find myself guilty as charged with my own photos. Any photo that cannot be idenfified after checking with various relatives is 'killed'. This took out two boxes of stuff in my closet. For some reason, my room seems cleaner even though I only shed pictures. Clothing was another matter. For some reason, I 'convinced' myself that I would always lose enough to get into those smaller clothes. Some 'flash of sanity' set in and I eliminated 5 large garbage bags of clothing. Who needs tshirts with stains that 'could be worn doing chores or some dirty project'...when this is not likely to happen?! I will continue on...

kaykaydee's avatar kaykaydee
kaykaydee said to kaykaydee
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To expand on the photograph and important papers...a very close friend (45 years friendship) just perished in a house fire. Her children and my daughter who is also a close friend have been dealing with the sorting, discarding discovery for this past week. It has been a living hell for them. They finally discovered that Mom had not updated the will since they were 12 and 13 years old. This was found in a box in an obscure dresser in an unused basement room that was almost covered in water from the fire department. Guess what my daughter is frantically trying us to get in place??? I found our latest estate planner. It's 12 years old. I still haven't identified people in pictures. What is in each room of the house? Did you have a blender? The list goes on...

zsa zsa's avatar zsa zsa
zsa zsa said to VN members
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After my husband of 25 yrs. died, I took a long, hard look at the cabin we built together in Alaska.  It was pretty sweet for two know-it-alls from Cleveland and was crammed with "stuff" I had collected embracing all the things we appreciated.  There were so many days that were only nights and nights that were days, brilliant moon shine, breathtaking, imposing mountains, that I wanted our cabin to envelope us against the harsh temperatures and unfamiliarity of our new environment.  I shrugged it off, and like Scarlett, decided tomorrow is another day.  Then I saw pictures and knew I was in need of simplifying my life.  I woke up one morning and started purging my walls, cabinets, shelves, china hutch and closets.  I called the Salvation Army and had it all hauled away.  It was the best I'd felt in a long, long time.  In my new home, back in the Lower 48, decorating is warm with color, but a minimum on useless "stuff."  When I'm tempted to buy something insignificant, but that caught my eye, I call on Mr. Thoreau and say, "Simplify, simplify, simplify

zsa zsa's avatar zsa zsa
zsa zsa said to VN members
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Taking pics of each room in my house at a lot of angles helped me simplify.  I was the Queen of Qlutter!  It was all beautiful and I did love every "thing", but that was it - it was all "stuff."  I kept the meaningful, but put the rest up for adoption.  Hardest thing I ever had to do.  But sometimes, the best thing you can do for the one you love, is let it go!  I was so buoyant, I floated into the next chapter of my life!  zsa zsa

Lulu's avatar Lulu
Lulu said to VN members
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After helping my mother through the last years of her life, moving her our of her 3 bedroom home in California to the Pacific NW, first to a two bedroom apartment, then to my home, then to indiependent living retirement community, then to one room in adult foster care, I learned that I don't want to leave downsizing to my children.  It was a huge and difficult job.  I discovered consignment shops and auctions for the good stuff. Reselling books to bookstores and donating to libraries and Goodwill or other agencies.  My mom's drawerfuls of socks and bras went to a women's prison (yes, they need that stuff).  Some clothes went to homeless shelters.  I've almost finished her stuff (last auction in January), and am now working on mine.  I figure I have several years left to downsize to a serene minimum of stuff.  And I'm asking my kids what they want me to save.  It's not silver and china.

Memeg's avatar Memeg
Memeg said to Lulu
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Thanks for your lulu of a response!  My mother died of dementia last summer.  My sisters and I all actively participated in her (home)care for over 2 years.  Part of the result of lviing in 2 places at once is that you detach a bit from each.  I was never known as an Architectural Digest type housekeeper.  Little bits of living piled up in the corners and closets of my house during this period of time.  Then they crept out. 

I would look over them or around them-- editing them out with my mind.  Now I am trying to restore order in my home.  Purging seems punitive.  My goal is to keep what we use and what we love most.  Ironically, I sit down with those sisters in a week to divide the contents of Mother's house.  It will be interesting to see what comes of that!

Pure and Natural