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The unsinkable became the unthinkable and …
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that’s just the tip of the iceberg…

The experts were wrong...


I am not sure why, but for whatever reason, The TITANIC has taken up space in my realm of awareness; I keep seeing pictures of it, hearing references to it, and its storyline came up in a Facebook game I play. So when it showed up in the game” Criminal Case”,  I decided it’s time for me to take a closer look at the messages, lessons, or nudges that I’ve ignored .

I have been drawn to and watched several documentaries on its maiden and only voyage, the finding of what still exist of the wreckage still on the ocean floor. I’ve watched with my eyes wide open, ears perked, and gel pens in my hands taking notes.

If you only knew how much I hate and fear large bodies of water you would understand why I’m surprised and confused about why all of this has been in my energy field for a while now. OMG, is that why I hate large bodies of water and the thought of going on a cruise ship makes me cringe and want to upchuck – was I a victim on the Titanic in another lifetime??? LOL – Anyway….

I want to share with you a few things that make me go MMMM:

  • Warnings were ignored – Jack Phillips, the wireless telegraph operator didn’t pass on the messages he received from other ships about The Titanic being in the path of an iceberg and entering an ice field – he decided he would take those messages to the bridge at a later time. Nudge – sometimes later is too late…
  • It was called the Ship of Dreams BUT became the ship of Nightmares even for those who survived. I’m sure they had lots of nightmares after being safely in their homes because near death experiences aren’t something you just get over quickly. Nudge – someone else’s dream can become your nightmare and some things are too good to be true…
  • For many immigrants who were leaving the poorest of conditions in their home country for the promise of AMERICA; that voyage was the best time of their life. Nudge – sometimes living for the moment as if there will be no tomorrow is not by choice…

5 lessons I learned from the Titanic:

  1. Non-negotiable – the ice field and iceberg were non-negotiable and 37 seconds warning was not enough time to change course for the Titanic. We all have -ice-fields and icebergs ahead because there just are things in our life that are beyond our control and the sooner we recognize that truth “we” can decide what is negotiable.
  2. Experts can be wrong – The best ship experts of the day believed and stated often – it is the biggest, the best, and safest ever – it is unsinkable. Whelp, they were wrong – it took only 2 hrs and 40 min for it to sink.
  3. Be prepared – the ship’s captain, crew, and passengers believed the experts’ opinion that their ship was unsinkable – so The Titanic was not ready with enough life jackets or lifeboats to save its passengers. The passengers trusted that they were on the best possible ship and in the best possible care. Trust but verify…
  4. Take nothing for granted – Enjoy the moment – because the moments become hours and hours may be all we have – who knows… There are no guarantees for tomorrow.
  5. Trust your instincts – I wonder how many people ignored their gut when it said, “Don’t go on that voyage”? Intuition trumps logic every time.

It is Your turn: Please leave your answers below.

A.  Where in your life is something non-negotiable?

B.  Where in your life are/were the experts wrong?

C.  When did you trust or mistrust your instincts and lived to celebrate or regret it?

I’ll start us off.

Mistrust: In July of 2006 my gut/instincts kept telling me to NOT go on a road trip to Oklahoma from Georgia – I ignored my gut and went anyway. Whelp, we were in a terrible car wreck flipped in the air 4 times landing 600 feet from highway – it could have been life ending but God showed us favor.

I even had a dream about being in a car wreck a couple of weeks before we left and went anyway. In my dream I died and in real-life in my suitcase, I had the outfit that I died I in my dream, but chose not to wear that day.  Trust me when I say trust your gut instincts!

Come back soon for another cup of comfort!

Dr. Anna Garrett
5 Ways to Make Peace with Skin Changes in Menopause
Health & Fitness
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One of my Hormone Harmony Club members recently had a hysterectomy. Within 4 weeks, she was posting questions about how to address the skin changes she was already starting to notice…wrinkles, sagging and dryness.

With the exception of puberty, there is no more challenging time for your skin than when you go through menopause (or in this case, instant menopause caused by the hysterectomy). Roller coaster hormones make all kinds of skin problems fair game in this time of your life.

With estrogen on the wane as menopause progresses, testosterone steps up to wreak havoc when it comes to what’s happening on your face. Surges of testosterone cause acne on your face, neck, back and chest. Stress also creates contributes to changing hormone levels and may make you more likely to break out.

While testosterone muscles up on the acne front, decreasing estrogen is working to break down your collagen and elastin and thin the dermis, leading to fine lines and wrinkles. You may also notice that your skin lacks the glow that it once had and that broken capillaries are appearing just below the surface of your skin. Hair becomes thinner and nails may break more easily.

So, what’s a gal to do? While these problems may seem like big obstacles to overcome, there are some simple things you can do to restore balance to your body and your skin.


Exercise increases your circulation and gets oxygen to your tissues. Not only will you feel better, but your skin will thank you.

Eat Clean

Approximately 30 percent the calories you consume should be from carbohydrates, and of those carbohydrates, the majority should come from fresh fruits and vegetables high in vitamins and minerals. Forty percent of your diet should be in the form of lean protein, and 30 percent from healthy fats. Keep salt to a minimum to avoid fluid retention.


Our bodies are mostly water. And our skin is our biggest organ. Makes sense, then, that you need lots of water to keep your skin healthy. Aim for at least ½ oz. per pound of body weight. This will flush your system and help your skin reclaim its glow.


The likelihood of skin cancer goes up as you age, especially if you were an “iodine and baby oil” teenager (you know who you are). Daily use of a broad-spectrum SPF is a must in all skincare regimens, but avoid sunscreen that contains hormone disruptors (avobenzone and oxybenzone).

Choose Cosmetics and Skin Care Wisely

As important as what goes into your body is what goes on your body. Choosing a skincare regimen that is right for you is vital. Look for products that use pharmaceutical-grade ingredients. You can find out more about the safety of your cosmetic products at

I also recommend having a consultation with a holistic aesthetician who can guide you in the use of herbs and oils for your skin. This can save you a LOT of money in the long run AND keep your skin looking beautiful.

Leaving a Spouse with a Mental Illness
Family & Relationships
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I haven’t spoken a lot why my marriage broke up but I think it is time now.


It will be 2 years in August that the papers where signed and the assets split 50/50. It took another year for the ex to comply and a Motion for Contempt filed for him to do so.


During our marriage of roughly eight years the ex lost 7 jobs and refused to take several not so grand positions since as he would scream for any to hear “I’m to good to work at that place.”


He had been diagnosed with major depression, panic attacks and paranoia.


He refused any treatment although he did take Wellbutrin for a while but it did no good.


I finally gave up trying to get him to accept mental health counseling when he kept me in our house, on the bed for two hours until I promised I would not leave him.


How was he able to keep me in the house. He lay on top of me (all 260 pounds of him) and held my wrists in a hold that did not give bruises (recall he is a doctor and knows how to do these things). I fought him like a she cat and when he finally let me lose since I promised not to leave I ran down the stairs, out the door and made it to a neighbor that did not even know me. They called the police, he was not arrested because I was not showing any cuts or bruises (I still could have filed but then he would have lost his license to practice medicine because of domestic abuse) I know, I know. It was just such a big mess and I was still trying to save our marriage and protect him from himself or so I thought.


It took another year, another job loss and a move to another place and his incessant need to scream at me telling me I don’t do anything for me to finally up and leave.


So why after all that and more that I won’t bore you with do I still feel like I should not have left, I still have the happily ever after blues, and I think about him almost daily although I have gone completely no contact.


As far as I know he did not kill himself and has a high paying job in CA. It is like it took the divorce for him to finally lose the weight (but too much weight), keep a job, keep a job at a place that he swore he was never going to work because he was too good for it (he now works in a county hospital basically caring for the poor.


Its funny, I tried to get him to volunteer his time but he refused until we were not speaking. Treating poor people was not good enough for him.


But the question remains, if the marriage was so horrible, why do I still think of him in the happily ever after. There was nothing happily ever after about it.


Don’t get me wrong. I am doing OK. My bills are paid, my job sucks but I still work at it because I am trying to save my settlement for my retirement, I am pretty healthy with a healthy weight, I have started volunteering at our center for the performing arts, and I haven’t been doing major things to damage myself in my grief.


So why am I still so wrapped up in him?


Just how long does it take to get over someone. It seems like some get out and move on quick and others, like me, are in some sort of suspension.


I don’t get it. Been in therapy. So I have done what I needed to do there.


Am I just stuck in the happily ever after?


Any opinion based on real life experience I would be grateful.


From the road,



Flower Bear
If You Think You Got The Wrong Manual
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Someone once said that life would be so much easier if we came with a user’s manual. Just think … whenever something went wrong, or we didn’t know how to do something, all we’d have to do is look it up and then we’d know how to fix our lives. Wouldn’t that be just great? Or would it? What if we read the manual and it still didn’t make sense? Even worse, what if we came with the wrong manual?

I am reminded of the time when I ordered some rose bushes from a catalog and they came with a set of instructions for planting lilacs! With my track record for killing rose bushes, this was not a good omen. Then there was the time that I ordered a do-it-yourself bookcase from a company I’d never heard of before (always one to save a dollar when I can) only to have the assembly instructions come in a language I could not even identify let alone translate … which didn’t seem to mean anything to my then 10 year old step-son who simply looked at the pictures and figured it out by himself.

The reason we don’t all come with a user’s manual is because we are all unique. My manual may not make any sense to you (like those bookcase instructions), and yours might have nothing to do with where I am in my life (like where to put a rose bush as opposed to a lilac bush). Maybe the reason you think you got the wrong one is because knowing ahead of time how your life will turn out takes all of the excitement and adventure out of growing, and growing is what we’re here to do. How boring life would be if we went through it without even one challenge, or the ability to make our own choices instead of following a set of predetermined instructions, but isn’t that what we do when we just blindly follow along living our lives according to other peoples’ beliefs and customs? The ability to blaze our own trail is what makes living worth while. Otherwise we’re just another nail in the bookcase just like every other nail. How boring is that?

These days, if I can’t find out how to do something by looking online (bless you, YouTube), I give myself permission to strike out on my own and make my own mistakes. It’s all part of living and growing, and my garden – both the one inside and the one outside – blooms as it was meant to be!

And so it is.

Liz Kitchens
Nurturing on Mother’s Day
Family & Relationships
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It’s Mother’s Day 2015 a day celebrating motherhood, honoring our own mothers and the impact of mothers on our society.

My kids both live away as they say in Maine (at least that is what I’ve heard Mainers say in spite of the fact I’ve never stepped foot in the state).  This fact gnaws at me but probably helps save my relationship with my children.  I recently heard a story on the Diane Rehm Show about millennials (children reaching adulthood in the early 2000s) and how we raised them to be self reliant and independent (self entitled being the other common characteristic according to analysts on this show).  Mine attended colleges for multiple degrees in multiple states (none of which included their home state, however) thus ending up living and working away.

adult children
My Kids

I think the word I would most associate with motherhood is nurturing.  “Caring for and encouraging the development of…”is a definition.  But nurturing is so much more…warmth, protection, love, advocacy.  The image of a nursing mother strikes me as the ultimate representation of motherhood, supplying life-sustaining nourishment.  I’m reminded this day of the many nurturers I know, some of them Moms some of them not.  I think of…

Cynthia who drove mile upon mile to rural Alabama caring for her aging father who died last month, all the while providing emotional support for her pregnant daughter living in Texas.

Suzi, a constant and reassuring presence in the lives of her grandson, identical twin granddaughters, and newly divorced son, all living so far away in Idaho.

I think of Diana, not a mom in a traditional sense, but someone who nurtures the ideas and visions of others making the world a healthier place

I think of Susan, newly retired after years of grueling 70 hour work weeks, devoting herself to philanthropic causes and ever attentive to her only daughter struggling to make her way in the acting world.

I could cite countless other examples of selfless acts of devotion. While the act of loving feeds our spirits, the extent to which we care can leave us depleted at times. On this Mother’s Day 2015, let us resolve to nurture ourselves as well as we do others.

Send me your stories of nurturing women and I’ll post them here.