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Jun
22
Elin Danien
Back to school after 50: 6 tips
Work & Money
13
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  1. Investigate all possible funding sources.
    There are a lot of scholarships available. Get on the web and start looking. If you are planning to attend college in the Delaware Valley, contact Bread Upon the Waters.
  2. If you have kids, do it for them.
    By going back to school to get your degree, remember – you are being a terrific role model for your children.
  3. If you’re married, having a supportive husband is wonderful, but not essential.
    Next to money, one of the biggest problems older women encounter when going back to school is a husband who doesn’t have a degree and feels threatened by a wife who gets one. I have no good advice to fix that. Some Bread scholars have ended up getting a divorce. My feeling is, it would have happened anyway. If your spouse or family won’t support you, find an encouraging friend to do it instead.
  4. Find a mentor.
    Seek out a mentor within the academic community. Find someone with whom you can discuss courses, your doubts and fears, hopes and dreams – someone who can really and truly inspire you. Academics are people who like to be admired – and most of them love to help those who ask for help.
  5. University staff get breaks on tuition.
    If the university that you want to attend is beyond your financial means and you don’t have a scholarship possibility there, find an area within the university where you can get a job. Often, university staff gets to take courses for free, only paying the taxes on what the course would have cost. You may have to work for six months first before you qualify – but that’s okay. It usually takes six months just to figure out which courses to take.
  6. Volunteering can get you on the inside track.
    If you’re interested in archaeology, for example, being a volunteer guide at a museum is a great way to start. That way, if a job opens up, you’re on the spot. In a small town, you may not need a Ph.D to volunteer – just show interest, arrive on time every day, know the material. It’s a good way to get to know your future colleagues in the field.

Share your own advice for vibrant women returning to school!

Jun
15
Ellen Dolgen
Transcendental Meditation – TM & ME!
Health & Fitness
0
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http://www.shmirshky.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Ellen_Dolgen_Menopause_Monday.jpgMy husband David and I met 39 years ago on a blind date. Yes, ladies go on those blind dates! You just never know, you might meet your soulmate!! David is my life partner. Over the many years we have been together, we try to encourage each other to lead healthy and rewarding lives. I came to the marriage with high cholesterol and David came with periodic migraines.

I take great care to eat healthy and exercise. David supports me in this by doing the same. Over the years, David has found a fabulous migraine specialist who has figured out the right protocol to take care of those migraines when they hit. This is all well and good, but now that we are in our 60’s, I wanted to figure out if there was something we could do to help prevent those migraines instead of managing them after they occur. So, with that in mind, David made an appointment for a consult at Scripps Integrative Medicine.

The doctor suggested that David try TM, (Transcendental Meditation). He explained the science behind it and added that he and many medical professionals, corporate executives, even celebrities mediate twice a day for 20 min. I was a bit skeptical, but willing to try anything that would help David. On the way home in the car, I called the TM center and made an appointment for us to have the training. I thought if I did it with him, it would help David do it.

When we arrived for the training, we were each taken to a different room with a different trainer. There was something very calm about this place. I couldn’t put my finger on it. As I sat with my trainer, I thought, this is so easy and is going to be so helpful to David.

After maybe a minute, I was quite sure that the 20 minutes was almost up. When was the last time I sat calmly for 20 min? I was perplexed by how relaxed I felt. I learned to let go and just “be”, something not very familiar to me, or for that matter, our culture as a whole.

That’s when it hit me…….perhaps it wasn’t just David who needed to learn to meditate! OY!

TM where have you been all of our lives!!??

Being a bit Type A (understatement), I had to meditate perfectly. But what was I supposed to do with all those thoughts that kept gushing into my mind as soon as I closed my eyes …what is my next blog…..what am I making for dinner……… I have to get back to my computer ASAP and answer emails from menopausal women in stress…….did I send out that birthday card -you name it the thoughts came flooding in. Yet I found that with this effortless technique the thoughts did not detract from my transcending experience. Every time I meditate this wonderful calmness and inner peace washes over me. I am energized, alert, and way more creative. After 20 min, I feel like I went through a de-stress car wash. My stress just washes away. I love the feeling!

Later, I began reading more about meditation and how it can affect overall health and well-being. A study in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, October 2013: meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials (RCTs) found significantly greater effect of TM in reducing trait anxiety than treatment-as-usual and other alternative treatments, including mindfulness-based therapy (MBT) and other meditation and relaxation practices.

I reached out to Dr. Josh Trutt, a healthy aging specialist for his thoughts on meditation. He explained, “When we relax, our heart rate slows down, But when we meditate, the interval between each beat of our heart changes and becomes smoother. That interval between each beat is called Heart Rate Variability (or HRV), and smoothing it out is what lets those Yogi masters live longer—in fact in 2010 the American Journal of Cardiology reported that maintaining a healthy HRV as we age actually predicts longevity!”

We all know that heart disease is the number one killer of women. I was thrilled to find out that The National Institutes of Health has funded over $26 million in research on the Transcendental Meditation technique for prevention of heart disease.

Research on TM has shown:

  • 50% reduction: heart attack, stroke, death
  • Reduced cholesterol
  • Reduced high blood pressure
  • Reduced insulin resistance
  • Alleviation of stress

There are days when David has to peel me from my desk chairs to go meditate. My Type A personality hasn’t changed but my stress level and quality of life has thanks to TM.

You don’t need to have candles and incense lit in order to meditate. You can mediate in your car between appointments, on the airplane, or in a quiet corner during your lunch hour. It can become part of many happier, healthier, and stress-free days to come. Try it! Transcendental Meditation for Women is now a partner in my life, too. BTW, David’s ok with this!

Get my FREE eBook, MENOPAUSE MONDAYS: A Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause here! Help me spread the word!

Jun
15
Tucker'smom
Emotional affair
Love & Sex
8
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My husband of 27 years recently connected with a high school girlfriend (he says she is his first love) on Facebook. This led to frequent text messaging. I got suspicious and one night after he went to bed, I looked at his phone and read the messages.  I was crushed to see them saying “I love you”and I saw one sexual reference.  He had deleted all the messages except for the ones from that evening.  I confronted him the next morning.  At first he denied it but then realized that I had proof.  I insisted that if he still loved me, which he said he did, that we get counseling and he break it off with “her.”  So far one couseling session, and he seems unhappy.  I’m confused and disappointed.  Anyone else have something similar happen?  Any good advice? He drinks too much and I think a lot of these conversations happened while he was drinking.  No excuse, but I think the alcohol contributed.  Counselor asked him if he was willing to give up alcohol, and he said “no.” I’m 53, no job, and life sucks right now….

Jun
15
Tucker'smom
Emotional affair
Love & Sex
1
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My husband of 27 years recently connected with a high school girlfriend (he says she is his first love) on Facebook. This led to frequent text messaging. I got suspicious and one night after he went to bed, I looked at his phone and read the messages.  I was crushed to see them saying “I love you”and I saw one sexual reference.  He had deleted all the messages except for the ones from that evening.  I confronted him the next morning.  At first he denied it but then realized that I had proof.  I insisted that if he still loved me, which he said he did, that we get counseling and he break it off with “her.”  So far one couseling session, and he seems unhappy.  I’m confused and disappointed.  Anyone else have something similar happen?  Any good advice? He drinks too much and I think a lot of these conversations happened while he was drinking.  No excuse, but I think the alcohol contributed.  Counselor asked him if he was willing to give up alcohol, and he said “no.” I’m 53, no job, and life sucks right now….

Jun
14
Anonymous
What would you do?
Work & Money
4
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I’ve been employed in the medical field pretty much FT for 24 years (I’m 45 yo). My husband and I have been (pretty much happily!) married for 24 years. Our children are grown (22 yo LPN, married last summer and 19 yo taking general classes at local community college…transferring next fall to another community college to start out as a PTA). My husband makes a pretty good wage working 12 hour shifts pretty close to home. We also have a side business (utilizing our open land) that is generating pretty good income on the side. This income will continue to grow over the next few years. We are adding to that now also. We built our house 17 years ago and recently paid off our mortgage. (Very happy about this!!)  Here’s where I’m at: I don’t hate, but REALLY dislike my current job. (After 13 years I made a change last year to what I thought would be a better job, better benefits, better hours, etc.) It is stressing me out beyond belief. I dread going there almost every day. I feel burnt out in the medical field now also. Or in this part of it in particular, maybe. It’s frustrating. I get up in the morning full of energy and ready to take on the day. By the time I get home every evening I’m done. Tired. A little depressed even. My husband is telling me to quit. I find it hard to just quit. I feel like I need to have a back-up plan. But we also know with our current situation (no bills except a little on our car, mortgage paid, not much for tax write-offs with children anymore, the other business generating income) that I probably should actually decrease my income as we will ‘get hit’ when it comes to taxes, etc.  I’m at a loss. I’m looking for PT jobs, something different, hoping to not have to work weekends again, etc.  Ideas? Suggestions??  I’m open to hearing what any of you have done, experienced, etc.  I feel lately like life is sucking the life out of me. I would love to be home more but yet….scared to death to make a big change.  BUT…I think I need it.  Ugh. So confused right now!