“I don’t need him to fix me! I just want him to listen and try to understand that I’m doing the best I can.”
This is a sentiment I hear a lot in my Hormone Harmony Club. I recently asked these ladies what they want men to understand about menopause. As you might expect, the responses were plentiful and varied.
Women aren’t the only ones who need to understand menopause. As a woman, you are one-half of your marriage and when that half changes, it changes the relationship right along with it. It’s hard enough for the women who are experiencing these bewildering changes, but try imagining what it must be like for the men who navigate this time with us!
We’ve only just begun to talk openly about menopause; so while we’re at it, let’s include men in the conversation.
Here are the top 5 things we’d like them to understand:
- We don’t need you to fix us. We’re not broken and menopause is not a disease. We don’t need advice. Even though you can’t experience what we’re feeling, please take the time to just listen. Sometimes a big hug and a sincere “I love you” can completely turn our day around. We really are doing the best we can in spite of the hormonal chaos that’s raging inside.
- Don’t make fun of us. When you crack jokes about menopause or being old in front of us (and other people) it doesn’t feel very good. Women don’t want to be the object of jokes and this kind of behavior doesn’t do anything to build your relationship. How would you feel if we were making jokes about your “Low T” or ED?
- Don’t touch the thermostat. Go put on a sweater. ‘Nuff said.
- Tell us we’re beautiful (especially when we aren’t feeling it). Wrinkles, saggy bits, expanding waistlines, thinning hair. These are all a recipe for self-confidence and mojo that’s in the toilet. We want to feel like we’re still hot in your eyes. The years may be taking their toll physically, but we want to know you’d choose us all over again and that we’re aging like fine wine. Tell us. Often.
- We still love you (even if our mood swings suggest otherwise). Let’s face it, when riding the hormonal highs and lows of menopause, we can say and do some pretty hurtful things. Sometimes they shock even us. We are sorry and we’re doing the best we can to keep ourselves together. It’s not you; it’s our hormones.
Don’t withdraw and pretend like nothing’s happening. Openly talking about the process can lead to creative problem-solving. Enlist professional help when needed and get to the root causes of hormone imbalance. Remember, this is a season and eventually it will pass!
Visit Dr. Anna’s website at www.drannagarrett.com.
Dr. Anna Garrett is a menopause expert and Doctor of Pharmacy. She helps women who are struggling with symptoms of perimenopause and menopause find natural hormone balancing solutions so they can rock their mojo through midlife and beyond. Her clients would tell you that her real gift is helping them reclaim parts of themselves they thought were gone forever.
Dr. Anna offers a complimentary 30-minute Get Acquainted Call to anyone who’d like to learn more about working with her. You can schedule that at your convenience by clicking here.