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heart broken and in the middle
Family & Relationships
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My daughter is getting married in 2 weeks. She and her fiance and bridal party went to Vegas for bachelor/bacherlorette party this weekend. I was not happy with this decision due to so close to wedding and fear of too much alcohol. Well, my fears came true! My daughter and brother got into a bad situation where my son yelled at her because he felt his girlfriend was being left out of the activies, she is a bridesmaid and they live together. My son drank a little too much and yelled at my daughter which hurt her so bad that she was wailing and crying in the casino. She then decided to call the girlfriend telling her that she is better off with out him and that she’s being a doormat and tearing her brother down. My son contributed lots of money toward the wedding and was very hurt that his sister tryed to destroy his relationship. My daughter is not remorseful for what she did and feels he needs to apologize to her for ruining her party. My son acknowledges that he needs to apologize for his actions but feels his sister needs to apologize to his girlfriend. Sadly, I’m in in the middle and deeply hearbroken over this! I understand my daughters feelings and my sons. Just looking for some advice on how a mother shouldn’t pick sides. I’m the only one helping my daughter with the wedding and I am so mad at her and my son. I cried all night!

Dr. Pepper Schwartz
Is your partner’s attitude killing your sex drive?
Love & Sex
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Ask yourself the following questions. If you have a lot of “true” answers, this is at least part of the explanation about why you are not feeling sexy and is a necessary part of what needs to be fixed in order to get back on track in your sex life:

True or False

1. Does my partner make comments about my body or what I wear or how I look that are unflattering?
2. Is my partner generally very judgmental about me?
3. Does my partner make me feel like I am not very sexy in bed?
4. Does my partner rarely tell me how much he loves me or how happy he is to be with me?
5. Does my partner rarely do his fair share of what has to be done around the house?
6. Do I not feel deeply respected by my partner?
7. Does my partner make me feel that sex is more about his or her needs than mine?

If your partner makes hurtful comments about your body, your intelligence, or your organizational skills, etc., it depresses your ability to be sexual later on. Even little things, like not showing consideration for your needs, such as not picking up after himself or forgetting to do some small errand you requested, can shunt sexual feelings to extinction. Having a partner who acts in a way that makes you feel unattractive or unloved will certainly have an effect on your own level of sexual desire. Time to address the problem!

Divorce after 25 years?
Family & Relationships
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I’ve been married for 25 years and have two sons. One is in college and the other one has 2 years left in high school. I have told him several times that I’m unhappy. He gives 110%!to his work and hardly anything in the marriage. Once I express my feelings then he says we will work on it but then months will go by and nothing changes. Sex is not great but we can get along together, it just more like roommates than marriage. He is not abbusive or cheating, just more about himself than about our marriage. I have lost respect for him. Should I go ahead and proceed with a divorce or just keep the marriage (roommate) and just do thing that make me happy?

Dr. Tara Allmen
The Female Sex Hormones – Estrogen, Progesterone and Testosterone
Other Topics
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Estrogen promotes the growth and health of the female reproductive organs. It also affects practically every tissue in a woman’s body, including the heart, brain, bones, eyes, skin, colon and so forth. Fluctuating and ultimately reduced levels of estrogen can result in hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, palpitations, insomnia, fatigue, decreased libido, vaginal dryness, irregular bleeding, bone loss and heart disease. Estrogen replacement therapy is considered the gold standard for the treatment of menopausal symptoms.


Progesterone is the hormone that prepares the lining of the uterus to accept a fertilized egg. During perimenopause, ovulation becomes unpredictable and so does the production of progesterone. During perimenopause, fluctuating levels of progesterone can cause periods to become heavier, longer and irregular.

When considering the use of hormone replacement therapy for menopausal symptoms, progesterone is necessary for women who still have a uterus. If you have had a hysterectomy, you do not need to take progesterone. Progesterone has only one job, which is to protect the uterine lining from abnormal overgrowth caused by the estrogen being taken to reduce menopause symptoms. It is the estrogen that is helping with your symptoms. It is the progesterone that is protecting your uterine lining. If you have had a hysterectomy, you do not need progesterone.


Although known as the “male” hormone, you might be surprised to learn that your ovaries have been producing testosterone since you first started getting acne and having periods! Testosterone continues to be produced by your ovaries for about 5 years after you have entered menopause and stopped making estrogen. Testosterone helps with your libido, feelings of well-being, energy, and bone health.

Who should consider a trial of testosterone?

The FDA has not approved the use of testosterone in women, so the answer is complicated. With my patients, I start with estrogen first, and most of the time I can manage symptoms just fine. If you have a uterus, you will also need progesterone. After 3-6 months, if you are still complaining of a reduced libido, it is time to consider adding testosterone. Since testosterone has not been FDA approved for use in women, you must make sure your health care professional knows what to do. Testosterone is generally safe at low doses for a short period of time.

Is this a unique experience?
Family & Relationships
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On December 27, 2014 we as a family of 3 went on a ten day cruise to the Caribbean. We went with another couple plus the mother. Our fifteen year old daughter shared a cabin with the mother of the other couple. The entire time of the cruise my husband never spent time with us. We only saw him at dinner and when he came back to the cabin at 3 or 4 in the morning to sleep until noon the next day then everything would start over. we went on two land excursions and he acted pretty decently. Our third excursion was Montego Bay, Jamaica. It started off nicely, we had fun. On the way back he was detained by Jamaican officials, strip searched and put in a room for a long time. He apparently had bought a bunch of marijuana on the street of Montego Bay. He got caught. So my daughter and I waited for a long time and finally we were escorted back into the ship. We we separated and searched. Then we waited on the elevator area with my husband and he tried to run away. I think he wanted to get into our cabin first to throw away some evidence. He was caught. By then I was hiterical, while my daughter stayed calm and quiet. So we were taken to our cabin and the police and ship’s cecurity turned everything upside down. Then my daughter and I were taken to her cabin and they did the same there. Then they took us back to my cabin and told to say goodby to my husband. He had been kicked off the ship and had to stay overnight in Jamaica and he flew home the next day. So for three days my daughter and I stayed on the ship, humiliated and I was angry. I found some other stuff that the police didn’t find and promptly threw them away. He didn’t even have the decency to warn me of those. Needless to say I kicked him out of the house as soon as I got back and I will file for a divorce as soon as the separation time is satisfied. I don’t have any feelings whatsoever for him anymore. My daughter wants nothing to do with him either. By the way, he’s still doing drugs and about to lose his job.