Your online dating profile is the first introduction a man has to you. You are literally marketing yourself to the male population online. For some women that sounds horrid but in real life we do it all the time.
If you met a man at a party, you would be doing the same thing; showing him your best side. The only difference is in real life you have time to immediately correct a faux pas.
Online, you don’t have that luxury so you need your profile to show you off in a way that will catch a man’s eye and interest right away. Since this is your first meet and greet, you want your profile to sound flirty and fun. That’s how you would be in real life.
Think again about when you met someone in person. You might laugh more at his jokes, you pay closer attention to what he says, and you show your best side. Here are the 9 rules for doing the same thing online.
1. Be exciting.
Excitement is what you want a man feeling when he’s done reading what you’ve written. You want him to push that email button as fast as he can to contact and meet you.
When determining what you want to put in your profile, you need to first know what your best qualities are. There’s nothing sexier to a man than your confidence. When you feel good about yourself, you will become a male magnet.
2. Be creative.
Come up with ideas or small stories that paint a picture of the two of you that a man can imagine himself in. You want to use a scene like this to capture the interest of a man. He won’t see the scene exactly like you do, but he is capable of visualizing the story you’ve created with him in it. And if he does, you’ve hooked him. If he can picture himself in your story, more than likely he will write to you.
Make your profile flirty. He doesn’t need to know everything about you in this first introduction.
3. The fewer “I’s” the better.
Think about it. When you go to a party and you meet someone who keeps saying, “I do this, I like that, I am this,” don’t you get bored? You might get stuck with that person for a long time unless someone rescues you.
Online, you have fewer than 10 seconds to get his attention before he moves on. Make them count! Try making your profile title catchy, using activities you’re involved with to create your online name. They can be kind of silly, but that’s okay. Your goal is to get a man’s attention quickly. Between your smile, a great picture and a goofy or clever name, you’ve got a chance to stand out from everyone else and be noticed.
4. Use proper spelling and grammar.
One big pet peeves for many men is horrible spelling and grammar in profiles. You can write your profile in Microsoft Word or other document programs so that it highlights any mistakes, and then cut and paste the paragraphs you’ve written to your profile online.
Little things like typos can be enough to make men quickly move on to someone else’s profile.
5. Don’t include these common faux pas.
I want you to know that in my 40’s, I made some of the dumbest mistakes when it came to profiles. I wrote things about making love on a beach with my soul mate. What in the world was I thinking? It sounded romantic to me. Leave sex out of your profile. It gives men the wrong impression and encourages those you probably aren’t interested in to write to you.
Leave out the words I’m looking for my soul mate from your profile. Men have told me they see it in every woman’s profile. Your goal is to look unique; not the same as everyone else.
6. Don’t brag.
Particularly, don’t brag about your out of this world looks. Men see what you look like but if you tell them in a bragging way, they’ll think you’re stuck up and move on.
7. Don’t make demands.
Try not to make demands in your profile about salaries and how you’d like to be entertained at the most expensive restaurants in your area. Even guys with money don’t want a woman telling them where to go and what to do.
They’ve had enough demands in their life including those put on them by ex-wives and families. They’re not looking for a repeat of what they just left.
8. Be true to who you are.
Otherwise it’s like false advertising, which is hard to keep up. Don’t try and pretend to be a certain way just to attract a Quality Man, when in reality, you are not that woman.
You have no control over who he ultimately wants or is looking for. You only have control over what you want in a Quality Man.
In fact, you do yourself a disservice pretending to be who you think a man wants. It actually sets you up for the wrong type of man to come into your life. Plus, it starts the relationship off in a false way. Be your authentic self and convey that in your profile.
9. End with a hook.
End your profile with a sentence that asks a man to show you he is interested. For example, “If romance and passion appeal to you like they do to me, let me know.” In other words, if he likes what you like, let you know by writing back.
I’d love to hear what you think in the comments!
Lisa Copeland, best-selling over 50’s dating book Author and Dating Coach who makes finding a great guy fun and easier after 50, is the founder of Find A Quality Man. To get your FREE Report, “5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man,” visit www.findaqualityman.com.