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Sweaters and boobs

Now that sweater weather is upon most of us, I will personally begin the age old ritual of sweater breast placement. Centuries ago the bra de jour set the breasts of that era on top of platforms that started at the waist. How dreadfully uncomfortable that must have been. But I may need that. With every year that passes, keeping my breasts from converging with my waistline becomes more of a challenge—the gravity effect seems to be winning. There is nothing like a sweater to make obvious the need for a new/different bra.

Part of the problem is the age of the bra—I tend to hang on to the old comfortable, broken-in ones way to long. And Jean is even worse. Part of my issue may be fit, or lack there of. Jean’s research produced information that said that to have a bra that fit properly is not just a fashion or comfort issue, but a health issue as well. She informed me that over 80% of American women wear the wrong size bra. If a bra is too tight is can restrict the natural flow of fluids to the lymph nodes, mammary ducts, and blood vessels.

Jean immediately sought out a well respected bra fitter to evaluate her mammary containment issues and suggest a more appropriate and healthy daily dwelling. When she pulled the huge, soccer ball carrier sized bra out of the bag to show me what her endeavors had produced, I burst into hysterics. Huge doesn’t even begin to describe the size of this apparatus. We could not stop laughing. It was an F.

In a book titled Dressed To Kill: The Link between Breast Cancer and Bras by Sidney Ross Singer and Soma Grismaijer, the authors maintain that wearing a bra for more than 12 hours a day significantly increases the risk of developing breast cancer. The more hours per day a woman wears a bra, the more she compromises the natural function of her lymphatic system. Furthermore they claim that the red marks left by wearing a bra indicate that the breast tissue is inflamed and that the bra is causing tissue insult.

Many critics argue that their findings are not scientific enough and therefore not valid. The debate continues. But if good old common sense plays any role in how we think anymore I would tend to agree that it is not a bad theory, even if theory is exactly what it is.

So I will just keep making those bra straps shorter with each wearing in hopes that the massive weight of my downwardly traveling breasts will not win out during the 12 hours that I am suppose to be wearing any bra at all--especially one that is too tight.

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