I hear so many women over 50 mistakenly think they are too old to date. Not True! One of the coolest things about dating over 50 is that you NOW have CHOICES when it comes to dating men of all ages!
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Believe it or not younger men along with men our age as well as men who are older are standing in line to date you.
There are younger men out there contacting women over 50 online daily, hoping for a real relationship with them. Many young men appreciate an older woman for her experience and her wisdom feeling that women our age have far less drama in their lives-something these men perceive women their age as thriving on.
Younger men can be fun. With their physical stamina they can keep up with you in all kinds of activities. They have a more balanced male/female side and seem to have a better understanding of feelings-something we as women love in a man.
I’ve personally seen successful relationships with this pairing. If men can date younger women, why can’t women date younger men? It’s worth trying out if you are game!
If you want to feel really young and sexy, date an older man. These men come from a generation where they were taught to treat women like ladies. Mothers whose only job in life was to please their fathers and take care of the family raised this group of men. Fathers provided for the family and made sure the females were safe and protected. Something they taught their sons to do as well.
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They will bring out your most feminine essence, something we’ve sometimes forgotten how to do with powerful careers in the male dominated work world. Men this age truly want to make you happy anyway they can and they will treasure you as the woman in their life.
Men in their 60’s and 70’s fit this bill. And being so close to the boomer age where you both experienced many of the same world events in your lifetimes, you will have lots to talk about. Give him a chance too. He’s worth it!
Then you have men who are our age. Believe it or not, most are NOT looking for a younger woman. What they really want is a woman within 3-5 years of their age. These men want to have life experience in common with the woman they love, which they can’t get with a 20, 30 or 40 year old. They may not open the door for you like the older man would, but you should have a lot in common with this man since you grew up in the same era.
You are NOT TO OLD TO DATE! In fact, as you’ve seen you have more choice than ever of men to date. Take advantage of this trend. Enjoy the experience with each one and see which age group you like best in your life. You don’t have to marry any of them. You can just have fun!
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What’s your experience been dating men of different ages? What’s your favorite age group to date? Would love to hear what you think! Until next time-
This sounds right up my alley! I love Elizabeth Berg. I love reading about women our age, whether fiction or non fiction. I'm going to look this up and download it on my Kindle! Thank you.
Dating for 7 years. Excruciating; can’t even find a man I would like to be friends with; have been on all dating sites (sometimes twice)……hate being alone.
I’ve always liked guys older than me. But I think I could go for a forty-something now. I have never looked my age, which is a blessing now! I’d love to get a younger man’s perspective.
I’m 56 and dated a 35 year old man off and on for a year. He was fun, and it was so flattering to me to be attractive to this young handsome guy. However, after awhile, I found that we didn’t have much in common but sex. I began to feel like his booty call, or what they call nowadays “friends with benefits”. Unfortuantely, he didn’t communicate to me from the beginning what he wanted, and I wanted to be his girlfriend. Now I’m raising the age to at least 45 on up. I ended up being hurt over the whole thing. I’m looking at it as a learning experience.
I don’t know what guys you’re talking to, but if you peruse the profiles on Match or similar sites, almost every guy our age wants a much younger woman. The last guy I went out with had shaved 10 years off his profile because he wanted a woman 10 years younger or more and thought the women his age looked too old for him.
I’m sure you can always find an exception, but if you spend time actually looking at what they want, it’s not women their own age, and especially not older women. I’ve had maybe 2 younger men approach me in many years.
My husband died last Sept. after 10 years living with ALS and I was the caretaker. Thought this was going to be OK, living alone with my 2 dogs, but getting lonely. Would like someone around my age or younger to share life with. I am 67, look like early 50′s people say. Do they always tell others stuff like that:) So i joined a senior dating site as 5 years younger. All men my age look old and boring and why do most have beards and mustaches, yuk I think about that. It’s just been the chatting on line, have not met anyone, talked to one. I haven’t had the experience but sounds like most women doing that are not having good experiences. What are the main problems you are having and I should look out for and how to know. Do the problems start after you actually meet someone? I was married 47 years and have never been with another man. But I think if I just act myself that’s it. What do the men do or what happens that is so horrible?
Sandra,
They are not all horrible. I’ve met several very nice men there. One of whom I had a 3 year relationship with. But, I think the horror stories stick with us and just beg to be shared.
Yes, there are many guys who lie about their age, some because they don’t want to date women who are older than they are. I had one guy tell me that saying he was 68-69 put him in the eyes of 70 year old women and that was too old for him. Personally, I find it disconcerting to meet someone and find out that they fudged on their age, it makes me wonder if they’re comfortable hiding the truth about other things too. You might think about that.
I think you have to just jump in and arrange a daytime coffee date with someone. Get that first date out of the way. And, yes as you said, just be yourself.
Tip: I always ask for a phone conversation first (I call from a blocked number) so we can get a sense of how conversation might go. It’s a good screening tool.
Sandra, my husband passed away suddenly after 26 years of marriage. I am 67 and just moved to an over 55 community. A long way from NJ to FL….it seems like a long time ago, but, it actually has only been closer to a year.
I missed the companionship we had, going out to dinner 2-3 times a week, parties with our friends, and going for a drink. It is lonely out here!
My daughter and 4 grandchildren live 11 miles away and we have a wonderful relationship but, my daughter is not the companion I am needing at this point in my life.
In the last few years of my marriage, I slept in my own bedroom as I became tired of the TV going all night and never having sex because of….too many excuses to address here, but, I had accepted that I would live the rest of my life without ever having made love to a man again…a thought that made the sexual me very sad.
After my husband passed away and my life changed so drastically, so did I. I had both knees replaced and lived with my daughter during rehab. I bought my condo and moved into it as soon as I was able to do most things on my own. Then….I was alone.
At first, I was unpacking boxes. Meeting neighbors. Getting a library card. Doing all things associated with a move to a new state, city, home. Then…I was very alone. I needed to do something!
I went to have a mani/pedi on a Thursday. I picked out a lovely shade of pink for nails and toes. As I sat in the pedi chair, I looked around and saw other women getting vibrant and bold colors applied to their toes. I looked at the lovely pink bottle of polish sitting at the ready for my toes. Sitting next to me was a young women who had several bottles of polish she was trying to choose from and then…I saw this beautiful, bold, dark lavender blueish bottle. It struck me that the bottle I had chosen was so dull. Sort of like I had become. Right then and there, I wanted that color of blue on my toes! I even wanted it on my fingernails! I walked out of that nail salon feeling as if I had just conquered the world!
So, now I had these bold and beautiful toes and fingers that made a statement about the new ME. But, my closet still had the old me in there. I stopped at the nearest clothing store and bought the most beautiful, multi-colored billowy long skirt I have ever seen. I bought a pair of sexy wedgies that matched the new skirt and certainly showed off my new blue toe nails!
That next day, a Friday, the monthly pest control sprayer man found a leak under my air conditioner. He called a friend of his who owned an air conditioner repair company.
I dressed up in my new skirt and shoes, my dark blue toes peeking from those sexy shoes…ready to go out when… the air conditioner man called to say he was near and could come right over to look at the air conditioner. The man came to repair it. Since that day, the man has repaired me, also.
We became friends and lovers. He is handsome. He is Brazilian. He is the most considerate of lovers. He has a beautiful body. He laughs. He sings to me. He whistles. He can and does fix things. A fixer of all things, but, mostly, he fixed me.
The only problem…he is 47 years old. One year older than my youngest child. I cannot let my family meet him as they would think I had lost my mind. I have not lost a darn thing except my hang-ups about growing older and having a body that gravity has taken over. I have my sexual self back. The flirty, sensual woman that gave up many years ago. The woman that everyone thought had it all but, lived a lonely life in the midst of many. An unfulfilled shell of who she once was.
I suppose the point of all this is that in order to get to the place you have chosen as your place of contentment, one must first find the person inside that allows the heart and mind to open up and accept all possibilities.
My 47 year old lover may not be the end all man, nor am I ready for a permanent man in my life, but, for now, for me, he is my joy. What he has done for me, no man has ever done before….he found a young woman in an old woman’s body and brought that young woman’s mind out in the open…made the older woman realize that a man desired her and wanted to make love to her, often. The woman that had been trapped inside was released by her young lover and could now walk proudly anywhere and feel good about herself. He will never know this, but, no matter what happens in our relationship, I will never forget what he has given back to me.
I think we older women short change ourselves. I did. I have promised myself that I will not short change myself again. Life is short for us. Too short to accept half a glass when the whole glass is there for the taking.
I wonder now what my mother did for sex after my dad passed away. For thirty years she lived alone….I can only wonder as she has passed, but, I wonder if when she was 67, did she ever feel sensual…..I hope she did because it is the fountain of youth, that sensual feeling. I hope you find it, Sandra. I hope you will look out with eyes and heart open and find the life you need to make you whole.
Fabulous! THat is so wonderful!
But, I’ll say that in reference to your dating an older man.. I dated a 68 year old who was every bit as lively and capable in bed as a younger man…though his ‘recovery’ time was slower I’m sure!
Dating websites are designed to bring the most possible men directly to your laptop and phone-which they do! I have a very strong sense of what I like and how I like to be treated as well as who I’m attracted to. From there its just a numbers game. My personal average is about 210 loosers for every 1 or 2 I find are dateable- on the similar age sites. And 5 loosers to every 1 hot sincere guy on the “cugar” sites. Really! Have a positive attitude, quick and decisive exit plans with kind phrases to say- then move on! Please believe me- this strategy works and you find the men you want! Also after when they stop trying and become boring and less attentive (99% do) you can trade them in for a nice new one! Haha.
Lisa,
I couldn’t disagree more! Younger men are looking for a mother (I have a son) or a “sugar Mama”. Older men are focused on sex and if you think for one minute they are not interested in younger women, you are mistaken.
I actually date quite a bit and just broke off an engagement with a man my age ( we are both in our early 60′s). My last husband was “older” and yes, they are grateful, but he left me for another woman with more money.
I don’t know where you live but obviously you have a ”dating pool” that is extraordinary indeed!
“If you want to feel really young and sexy, date an older man.”
You just finished extolling the virtues of younger men~which is it?!!? Plus, what’s the ”the dating mistake you never want to make as a single woman over 50?”
Mari, I disagree. If you want to stay young, date a younger man. I am 67 and if I date an older man, he will be too old to tango!
Anon, I’ve been there, dating a younger guy, i.e. I was 49, he was 36 & we lasted 4 (rather turbulent) years. Not to mention, I had a case of the guilties ’til 1/2 way through. Maybe the OP meant to say “younger,” not “older.”
I don’t date at present, but if I did, he would def have to be younger~I’m just not attracted to older guys. Probably something to do with this…I’m bi-racial~they didn’t want me when I was young & pretty, I don’t want them when they’re old & gray!
Mari, I am just not attracted to old. I cannot imagine that anyone today can still get hung up on bi-racial….but, their loss!
Dear Anonymous,
Didn’t you say you are 67 years old? Why do you need the permission of your family to date someone younger? I get so angry at family members who feel the need to rain on the parade of someone who is happy in a relationship with a younger person. As far as your children go, YOU are their mother. They are not your parent! Now if this man starts to abuse you, tricking you our of your money, beating you, things like this, I can understand them being concerned. I think they should be happy for you. If you want to take this man somewhere they may be, they should just deal with it. You don’t have to answer to anyone. Sweetie you are GROWN!!!