The Secret
What happens with the basic tenets of “The Secret” is that everyone puts it through their own “filter” and interprets the premise of The Secret in ways that make sense to them (here I wish to give a big nod to VN blogger DuffyM, who wrote about the phenomenon of “filtering” in one of her recent blogs).
What I have noticed is that people either love The Secret or hate it. I actually support the philosophy and use The Secret and its principles in my life and professional coaching work. Where things go off the rails, and cause people to dismiss or trash The Secret, is the complete failure of book/DVD to adequately stress the ACTION (i.e., hard work!) side of the formula.
The Secret has mistakenly been characterized as just “putting out there to the universe” whatever it is you want (a “vibration” so to speak), and then sitting back and waiting for it to be delivered to you on a silver platter. The DVD inadvertently reinforces this erroneous message, especially in the segment where a little boy is shown focusing on a brand new bicycle that he wants. He focuses on it, cuts out and regularly looks at a picture of his object of desire and, lo and behold, one day opens his front door and there sits the bike of his dreams! Bad message in my view.
In my opinion, the DVD should have shown him taking the action necessary to warrant “attracting” the bike into his life – he certainly could have the photo on the wall in his room and tell his parents/grandparents his goal is that bike, and then he could deliver papers, mow lawns, do chores, or even enter contests where a bike is the prize – anything that would show he was actively working towards the desired goal…then it would make sense to have someone in his life bestow the bike on him as a well-earned reward, or he may have earned enough to buy the bike himself. But this aspect of The Secret gets skipped over time and time again, leading people to dismiss it as a stupid philosophy for lazy, materialistic, and “magical thinking” people.
The Secret is really about goal setting – something most people are terrible at. Fact is, most people WISH positive (which makes for vague, far-off goals) and THINK negative (they are distinct and concrete about what they dislike). Most people are great at telling you in detail what they DON’T want, but totally lousy at describing in detail what it is they DO want. And because we tend to get what we focus on in life, if you tend to be really clear about what you don’t want, the chances are you will get and/or notice more of it in your life.
The neuro/brain science behind this is something referred to as the “Reticular Activating System” or RAS. This is our method of filtering and only noticing that which is important to us. For example, have you ever noticed that when you’ve bought a car, say a blue Volvo sedan, that all of a sudden you see blue Volvo sedans likes yours everywhere? Yesterday there were none in sight, and now it seems there are lots of them around? That is your RAS at work. Or, you’ve decided to buy a new refrigerator and you open the paper and spot a great sale on refrigerators and think “How lucky, just when I need one there’s a sale on!” Well, the chances are there were appliance sales advertised in the paper regularly in the lead up to your decision, but you simply never noticed them until it was important to you and, therefore, the ad made it past your filter. Once again, that is your RAS.
The Secret is just an approach for activating your RAS effectively. You have to be clear and specific about what it is you desire AND, most importantly, you have to TAKE SUSTAINED ACTION that is aligned with achieving that desire.
If you have this goal clarity and an action plan that you implement, The Secret calls this putting out a “vibration” that will “attract” your desire…this is just a fancy way of saying you are more likely to step up, take chances, put yourself out there, ask for what you want, and consistently put yourself in the place of most potential for the thing you want to manifest itself in your life – be a partner, a job, or a material possession.
I do not subscribe to the “genie in a bottle” aspects of The Secret (i.e., I don’t think the universe hears me and responds with “Your wish is my command – relax, have a mani/pedi while we deliver a six figure income to you). Nor do I think people who suffer catastrophic bad luck have brought it on themselves with wrong thoughts. What I do believe in and use is this acronym “TURA” (The Universe Rewards Action).
What I believe is that having goal clarity, a crystal clear focus, and a game plan-of-action aligned with achieving my goal is a recipe for huge gains and progess, if not outright success and complete achievement.
Todo bien. (It’s all good.)
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thank you so much Lisa, that helps a lot. I know he tried to blame me for so much stuff, but like I told all of his family and mine none of that added up to a divorce. I do realize it's his needs, it just hurts so bad to think how many years he's
How funny....i only very recently (within last week) read the coconut oil articles on the web. (100 uses, 80 uses etc.) so i bouht some and ordered some from amazon. (Im a stockpiler.)
Have started trying some of the uses. I tried using it a
I am one of those who LOVES “The Secret”. When I was introduced to it a couple of years ago, I couldn’t wait to share it with everyone I knew. Some dismissed it as ‘new age mumbo-jumbo’ but some took to it right away as I did. More or less, my feelings about it mirror yours: that ‘genie in the bottle” thing made for good television (saw it on DVD) but I live in the real world (well, most of the time) and “asking” and “wishing” just doesn’t make it so.
In addition, I refuse to believe that I somehow ’caused’ the negativity in my life. Right now I’m dealing with long term unemployment and in the space of a year, I lost my job, broke up with my boyfriend, my house is going into foreclosure, my brother passed away, and my mother’s long time companion passed away as well. There is no way I “attracted” this: it just happened. And it devastated me for quite awhile… but I am working my way to the other side, and when things get bad, I try to remember my “secret” and it helps. It really does. You are so right: Goal clarity and action are KEY to the Secret. There is no other way to achieve it, in my view.
Hi Five to Nine,
I’m also a big fan of The Secret. Most of my friends and family also dismissed it as “wishful thinking.” Some of them tried it expecting to win the lottery or get the job offer of a lifetime just by being positive and were so disappointed when it didn’t happen that they trashed the whole thing. I think it takes alot of practice and patience to re-learn how to focus, set goals, and make action plans. If nothing else, it has helped me realize what’s really important and to simplify my life. All that matters is what works for me and what makes me happy.
Your response has you sounding so much more positive than you have been recently. I like your statement, “working my way to the other side..” Just know that we’re waiting there to grab your hand and pull you across the finish line. I think you’re one heck of a courageous woman.
Thank you, Flower Bear. I feel stronger, just a little bit every day. It’s taking longer than I’d hoped but I’ll get there… eventually.
Sending HUGS across the miles –
Hugs to you, too. I have to believe that things will eventually get better. It simply can’t stay this way forever. My concern is that when the recovery gets rolling, the under 50 group will be the first ones to recover while the over 50′s will be left out in the cold. We boomers are a large and powerful group if we can just get our act together and put some pressure where it is needed. Maybe that’s The Secret” of how we’re going to survive. Power To The People, as we used to say in my day. Keep your chin up, kiddo.
Five to Nine,
I don’t know much about “The Secret”, but have read your posts regarding unemployment and see that you do set goals and follow through. I’m so sorry to hear about the difficult circumstances you have been through in one year. It seems like it’s too much to handle, but I have faith in you. I lost my mom, brother and niece all in one year and it was tough, but I made it to the other side and am a better person for it. I wish only good things for you and I see you are tenacious, willing to work your way towards good things. I admire you and want to apologize for the misguided legislature we are faced with at this tough time for so many hard working Americans. I’m still sending emails to the Nays. I pray for you each night.
Sending HUGS across the miles, ((((Winelover)))))!
thanks
Your title says it all. I’ve always been taught that the universe responds to your intentions and that some people send mixed messages when they “wish positive but think negative.” “The Secret” is one of the books by my bedside that I pick up and read often. Action is important. People who are good at what they do get that way because they work at it. They take advantage of things that come their way because in the words of a young kayaker, “I try to put myself in a position to take advantage of whatever magic comes my way.” Some people do one or the other. It’s rarer for people to set goals, work hard towards that goal and set a place for miracles.
Thanks, Lisa, for this post. I have mixed feeings about The Secret, although I’ve known about and practiced creative thought for years — long before this video and book were released. Indeed, these concepts were never a secret. Creative thought, conscious creation or deliberate creation have been teachings in the metaphysical and human potential circles for many years. What I love about your post is your focus on action. I’ve been saying for a long time that what is missing from The Secret is the action step. It’s important to combine our thoughts and feelings. That’s part of the process. And intention is huge! But with all of that we must take action. We live in a physical world, and without action rarely do we see manifestation happen. Sometimes it does, but not often. That’s why so many people think The Secret doesn’t actually work. Even the process of visualizing what we want and feeling as if we have it takes effort (ie. action), but more than that we need to look for opportunities to bring what we want into the world. We need to do something.
I wrote a whole booklet — short book — on this topic; one day it will be a longer book. It’s called the Kabbalah of Conscious Creation. It looks at this topic from a Kabbalistic, or Jewish mystical perspective. From this standpoint, we are taught also to not just want “things” for ourselvses. We have to want not just to receive but to give unconditionally to others. When we look at receiving for the purpose of giving, the whole process changes drastically — and works more effectively. We tap into the Divine flow of giving and receiving. So, not only do we add in the action step, we add in giving… The Secret was criticized for being too materialistic. Try the process when you come from a place of manifesting for the sake of sharing what you receive with others. The materialism is gone and you are doing something much different. You are giving Divine gifts.
Hello. I did read “The Secret”, after seeing Oprah talk about it, but must say I was not impressed. Seemed like a self-centred way to live. I did read the invocation given by a professor in the U.S. at a Graduation Ceremony – he had approx. 6 months to live(cancer) and told the graduates how he believed you could obtain your goals in life and be blessed. In short, this is what he said, and what I believe: Most important – we need a strong inner compass from God to stay in His Will for us, then – 1) Show gratitude for what we have 2) Don’t keep complaining(the first black major league baseball player, Jackie Robinson, had to sign in his contract that he wouldn’t complain and he went through many trials) 3)Be good at something, no matter how small it may seem 4)Work hard 5) Find the best in eVerybody, no matter how long you have to wait to see it 6) Help others with their dreams
My 19 yr. old daughter died in a car accident; 2 yrs. later, my 14 yr. old niece died in an accident;after remarrying, my husband and I homecared my 32 yr. old stepson who had a brain tumor, leaving a wife and 2 yr. old baby girl behind and within 6 months both of our mothers died. My brother, who is dev. challenged moved in with us, as he had lived with my mom( Dad died earlier). We both were working in occupations we enjoyed(I have since retired), have had other events happen that were not nice, but we are happy with our lives and good things have happened. I think I married the best man in the world, we have terrific family and friends. The best has been that we were able to watch my brother come home this week with a Bronze Medal at the Canadian National Special Olympic Summer Games! He asked if his mom and dad would be proud of him, everyone in our town is, and of course we could say yes!
Our bottom line for a good, happy life, no matter what happens – through grief, disasters, every day living happenings is no SECRET- it’s just that a lot of people don’t want to embrace it- and that is trust in God. It works for us!