90 Day No Negativity Challenge – Day 35

Negativity, Fear, and Blowing Things Out of Proportion

“The sky is falling, the sky is falling!”   Okay, those weren’t Dorothy’s exact words but it was the same thing. She was engaging in disasterizing, blowing a situation out of proportion.  She hadn’t done anything bad, wrong or even inappropriate. Her students were loud. They’re all loud at this time of year.  Another teacher gave her a dirty look, which is normal for that teacher, and Dorothy was suddenly afraid.  When Dorothy came into my room I said, “It must be something bad.”  It’s almost always something bad with her. Being negative is an ongoing issue for Dorothy and one that other teachers complain about.  She is also working on it for her own sake and the sake of her job.  Yes, people get fired for being negative, they may call it something else but the  underlying reason is their negativity and the effect is has on other employees and customers.  What I didn’t know until today is that one of the reason’s she’s negative is she’s afraid.

Fear is a breeding ground for negativity, pure and simple. Fear is an ongoing topic for paddlers because water, as much fun as it is, is an oxygen deprived environment. I’m personally hoping to develop gills but I’m not holding my breath, no pun intended.  Paddlers talk about fear and the language of fear with each other often. It‘s part of the sport. You can die if you make a mistake, a little fear keeps you on your toes, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”  Ignoring fear can cause you to run something you shouldn’t and you can die.  Too much fear, however, can paralyze you and rob you of a lot of fun and success.   A little class II rapid becomes Killer Fang Falls and suddenly its “OH MY Gawd, I’M GOING TO DIE!

That’s where Dorothy was today. “The sky is falling, the sky is falling. OH MY Gawd, I’M GOING To DIE!”  My approach to running a rapid that  I’m afraid of is this, “What’s the worst that can happen? Am I willing to accept the worst that I think can happen? Is someone nearby who can rescue my ass?”  A wise man told me that fear stands for false evidence appearing real.

There are real threats, real dangers and real things to be afraid of, most of the time though, it’s a matter of false evidence appearing real.  So, I threw Dorothy a rope, a fundamental rescue technique that paddlers use. I pointed out the facts, reassured her, and suggested some actions she could take then told a joke to make her laugh. I don’t know if it helped her but I wasn’t left reeling from the residue negative people leave in their wake.  At the very least we ended our conversation with laughter and that’s a good thing to end with. Ha, ha, ha.