It’s Not Where You Go, It’s Who You Go With
Don’t you love it when someone puts into words what you have always known and acted on without having articulated it? I heard Alana Shepherd of the Shepard Spinal Center speak at high school graduation for a former student. She was a wonderful speaker who said, “It’s not where you go, it’s who you go with.”
That attitude is why I would rather paddle an easy river with one group of people than go to a more interesting river with another group. It’s one of the reasons that I will go to concert with myself rather than someone who is not very good company but available. Makes sense, right? Just because it makes sense doesn’t mean it’s easy. Ask me about the drummers I’ve dated, oh man!
I’ve have not always been able to choose who I go with free of negativity. I’ve felt obligated, guilty, and ashamed. I have felt like I needed to justify or explain or make someone wrong. In the case of drummers I felt lust with a what the hell attitude thrown in for good measure. It all left a bad taste in my mouth and damaged relationships including the relationship with myself. And that goes double for drummers. Nothing against drummers, mind you, really.
Today I was at a staff development and one of the women I was sitting with talked during the presentation. I understood why, she wants very much to feel like she’s important. Knowing that and recognizing that helped me see her with compassion rather than annoyance. When I told her I needed to hear and she kept talking I moved. I wasn’t bothered, or irritated. I didn’t make her wrong. I wasn’t worried about what she would think. I just moved.
A friend asked me if I noticed any difference since I started this challenge. I’m beginning to. I am calmer, quieter and more peaceful. I talk a whole lot less and I make decisions for myself that do not come at the expense of other people. I drive myself. I move. I choose who I’m with. I don’t complain about them or make them wrong. I just choose. Now, rather or not I can do that with drummers is a whole other matter.
thank you so much Lisa, that helps a lot. I know he tried to blame me for so much stuff, but like I told all of his family and mine none of that added up to a divorce. I do realize it's his needs, it just hurts so bad to think how many years he's
How funny....i only very recently (within last week) read the coconut oil articles on the web. (100 uses, 80 uses etc.) so i bouht some and ordered some from amazon. (Im a stockpiler.)
Have started trying some of the uses. I tried using it a
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