90 Day No Negativity Challenge – Day 53, part 2

What Happens in the Absence of Negativity?

Women are asked to be less than they are to make other people comfortable on a regular basis. Be less, less strong, less outspoken, less sexual after a certain age, be less passionate, be less so someone else is not uncomfortable. This is so common that women naturally assume other people’s feelings are their responsibility and that their feelings are other people’s responsibility. They’re not. Feelings are just feelings, sometimes they indicate something that needs to be examined but most of the time they are just feelings. Your emotional states shape you and what happens to you and that is reason enough to not let them control you. I don’t want my emotional state to control me let alone be controlled by someone else’s. This is not a news flash to me so the flicker of guilt I felt this morning surprised me.

Lisa came into my classroom during a lull in the day to tell me that Kathy was uncomfortable with the idea that she might be working with me next year. Lisa told me that she reassured her then shared with me that that she thought Kathy was uncomfortable because of my strong personality. I hadn’t done anything wrong, hurtful or unkind and I still felt, just for moment, guilty. I briefly considered being less, less what I don’t know, just less me. I’m not for everyone. None of us are. That said, the best thing anyone can do is be the best they can be. Each of us is a gift to the world in our own unique and special way. I don’t know how Kathy feels only what Lisa said. I do know that she is a fine teacher and a professional. I also know that she is a grown woman who doesn’t need me to be less than who I am to feel comfortable and secure. She’s better than that and so am I. She may not know that, but I for sure do.

What I think Kathy might need, what we all need once in a while, is a little praise, support and encouragement. A small group of teachers have stopped complaining as a way of supporting me in this challenge. It was stop being negative or stop talking to me and I am much too interesting for that to happen. Hey, what can I say? When you got it, you got it. There was an empty place where there was negativity and we all know that nature abhors a vacuum. That vacuum has been filled with an idea called PSE, praise, support, and encouragement. The art teacher has suggested a tee-shirt and note cards to pass out to other teachers celebrating and acknowledging their work. Another teacher has organized a book study group at my house for the book Teach Like A Champion by Doug Lamov. Nancy and I have each donated a copy of the book, also known as “The” book, to a handful of other teachers and the library. It’s simply too good of a book not to share. ( I am starting to love Doug Lamov as much as blue eyed guitar playing cowboys from Montana who paddle a red Caption.) We believe that we can create the kind of school that we want to teach in. We can create it, not the administration, the BOE, not anyone else but us. I don’t know what will happen with this but we’re on the right track See, this is what happens in the absence of negativity, meaningful change that supports and nourishes ourselves and each other. Can I get an amen?