We All Benefit
Recess lasts a little longer each day as we get closer to the end of the year. I am staying off the swings because I can’t seem to get on them without wanting to do something daring on them, or as I told some other teachers, “The swings bring out the stupid in me.” One swing injury a year is all any teacher should have. The good thing about staying off the swings is that I am spending more time with other teachers than I normally would.
They tease me about not being negative and when I am they call me on it. They also make an effort to refrain from negativity around me. It’s made our end of year conversations more productive and our relationships more joyful. When another teacher joins us Mary will gently chide them, “Remember ya’ll, we can’t be negative. Deb is on a no negativity challenge.” Her comment will inevitably lead to laughter and someone suggesting that I have truly lost my mind, what was I thinking, and did I realize what I was doing. No, I don’t think so and if I have, don’t tell me, who knows what I was thinking and not a clue.
I see the benefits of eliminating negativity from my life more and more each day. I see it at recess when teachers reframe what they say to a child and each other so that it isn’t negative. We are able to be emotionally honest without being emotional trash pickers. We have become more supportive of each other, more generous with praise, more encouraging. And it’s sincere. That is a very nice difference.
The absence of negative has created room for trust and emotional honesty. Not everyone will get it and not everyone needs to. It’s enough that I do and that I have people who are willing and able to support me. We are all benefiting.
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
emotional trash pickers? omg you just coined a word I have never heard, and it is so descriptive. wow.
Let me explain that term. When I was getting divorced I had a dream where I was pushing a big janitor’s broom down the stairs and picking up pieces of trash. I realized that I didn’t have to do that I could just push the broom. I think we have become a nation of emotional trash pickers. It’s one thing to be emotionally honest its another thing to use our emotional history as conversational currency.
BTW, this has been a demanding journey and I really appreciate the support. What makes it demanding is not just the task but writing about it. Sometimes the writing about it is a challenge and today was one of those days. I have not fully expressed how important being emotionally honest without negativity is or how damaging the lack of emotionally honesty is.
I don’t think I could have written about it. Nor found the words. You write very eloquently about it.
now there’s another phrase, emotional history as conversational currency.
this is what my sisters and I do when we talk about each other. And we do. Emotional trash picking and using our emotional history together for conversational currency.
I’m inclined by nature to be a shoot from the hip kind of girl. I might flare up in anger, speak it out, and feel a whole lot better for it. That is more emotionally honest for me than simmering/seething which I also do very well.
its to bad more people cant read this and try to follow your example think of how happy the world could be
As usual, I’m loving this journey of yours. You are truly an inspiration to others!