There’s always a reason to complain and today was one of those days. I had to exercise a whole lot of self control not to complain. The carpenter was here until 11pm last night finishing the door which ended up being a rather involved production and I get up at 4:30. You do the math. I woke up with a headache of all headaches and then spent 5 hours with tech support because I put fix printer on my do list and I was hell bent and determined to get it fixed only because it was on my do list, not because it was really necessary.
If complaining would have helped I would have complained but when I mentally fast forwarded in time to where my panties were in a twist I didn’t like it so I just throttled back and regrouped.
While I was on the phone with tech support I Googled printers (I LOVE Google) and saw that I could get one for less than a hundred bucks. My time was worth more than that. It would be cheaper to in the long run to buy a new printer. I stopped feeling helpless and at the mercy of tech support, made a decision and moved on. I told tech support it was just time to buy a new printer and thanks for the help. Then I let it go. I also crossed it off my do list.
I called on my favorite angel, Dragnet’s Joe Friday with his wisdom, “The facts ma’m, just the facts.” I didn’t need to moan and groan or dress anything up. The carpenter worked hard, he left just after 11pm. I would benefit from a nap. I need to buy a new printer but I’m not in a rush. Just the facts removes negativity and lets me just accept what is without needing it to be anything other than what it is. I might not be digging it but I don’t have to bitch and moan about it either.
It helped, that sitting my desk was Jean Shinoda Bolen M.D.’s book Crones Don’t Whine. Ok, I still have a hard time thinking of myself as a crone but what the hell, everyone else seems to think I’m one so I’m going with it.
“Whiners assume that they are entitled to a different life than the one they have.”
I want to be happy with my life and complaining gets in the way. I’m not saying that it wouldn’t be nice to meet a guitar playing cowboy from Montana who paddles a red Caption but, that’s what will be and today is what is. I gotta play the hand I got, the hand I dealt myself I might add. After all, I had choice along every step of the way. It’s easy to forget you have choices when you complain.
The choice I’m making now is to lighten up on myself and not be so hog dang tied to a do list unless it involves a glass of wine and some Grateful Dead.
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
Embrace your inner crone. Dress it up and talk about your dootage.
Sometimes negativity is honesty. Like no I don’t think a bridal shower is a good idea for a woman being married for the 4th time and you gave to all the other 3! But that is just me. You keep it up!
Here’s the thing about crones; I think they’re pretty high up there. I’ve been very lucky to always have a crone or two in my life. I’m in awe to think I’m in that category. When I first started this someone asked me to define what negativity was. I replied that it one criteria was to ask if it was true, kind or necessary. I hope I can be honest within that criteria. That said, I’d balk and have balked at excess in showers. I want to celebrate the union and I think gatherings of women are important but do you really need more stuff? That’s just me.
Watermusic, what a great post!! I love your definition of negativity….is it true, kind or necessary…Thanks for the inspiration!
I secrety write. Sometimes. when I am musing. always for my own amusement. about a month ago I wrote about the crones in my life. all my friends, in general terms. I just spent a few minutes trying to find the document but I can’t remember where I saved it, or what I called it.
I am following your journey very closely. I’m not going to comment every day. In case you then feel consiously or unconsiously that you have to improve, make up, or make your writings perfect in some way. I am in awe of what you are doing. And they are so perfect written from your heart.
NanaCatherine, thank you. Listen, honey, Sometimes I write too, you know, write with a capital W. These postings though are me being me, I’m writing just like I talk and just being myself. I try to check for grammar and that kind of thing but mostly I’m just laying the words down. I’m being as honest and genuine as I know how. If perfection is something other than that I don’t want it.
You go girl! Be your authentic self, some people will love you and some won’t… As I get older, the less I try to please. JUST BE…
What an enormous project!!! Good for you!!! Have to share a bit about my Mother — who was a Saint — and I really believe that. She was a Scottish immigrant, (left her Mother at 11) worked in a laundry for .50 cents a day – married a Greek immigrant who barely spoke English, had 10 kids (a really Good Catholic) when electricals were too much of a luxury. Her comments about almost anything were sort of ‘in the back door’. What she said about complaining (negativity??) was – ‘look at me, ten kids and carrying water from the pump, and boiling the water and scrubbing by hand, and milking the cows, and scrubbing in the floors, etc. etc.’ — and her last line always broke us up — ‘and you don’t find me complaining – not at all, not me, I don’t have time’. And she had time to grow beautiful flowers, keep a kitchen garden, preserve elderberry jam and read the newspaper to my Father every evening after supper.
My Mother was grand, a real lady and yes, a Saint! And she grew 10 children and mulittudes of grandchildren who all turned out pretty durned good.
The lesson I take from this is, if you’re going to complain, make it funny.
I posted a story earlier about a time when I was complaining about a boss who always wanted to do things with me and the fact that I could only get a date with younger men. The friend I was complaining to said, “So, your big problem is that everyone wants to be your friend and younger men lust after you.” Perspective is a fine thing.
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said, “CRONE Creative Researcher Of New Experiences” which sounds like you. I just googled and found it on-line too.