Is it just me or do people seem starved for recognition and appreciation, hungry for simple acknowledgement of their existence? This is not the look at me, look at me, look at me self esteem thing. I think it’s sincere. We all want to feel like we matter in the lives of others.We all want to belong and feel connected and we should all feel that way.
The problem is that an easy way to feel powerful and like we matter is to sling complaints and vitriolic diatribe like a short order cook slinging hash browns at Waffle House. We are generous with criticisms and stingy with praise.
A woman I work with gave me what I consider to be a high compliment when she told me that I see the best in people. It’s part of what makes me a good teacher. I try to be generous with praise and lavish encouragement and compliments on people. Hey, it’s free. A sincere thank you goes a very long way. As John Maxwell said, “encouragement is oxygen for the soul.”
I’ll be honest with you though, I am generous with praise and compliments for a very selfish reason. It makes me feel good. If I’m in a funk expressing sincere appreciation lifts my spirit. And you know it’s not that hard. I simply look for reasons to say thank you as often as I can, to celebrate the success of others the same way I celebrate my own.
When was the last time you left a generous tip, called customer service not with a complaint, but to praise the service you got? When was the last time that you treated your waitress, clerk or hell for that matter your child’s teacher like you would want to be treated? When was the last time you noticed, just noticed beauty in someone or something else?
Criticism and complaints are cheap currency. We’re better than that. How about just for today we try and find five simple, little everyday things to praise and appreciate. I wonder if we all wouldn’t feel more connected and part of the world we say we want.
Sounds like you have met your challenges with strength and creativity. You are thinking of options rather that saying this is how I am doing it. Good vibes! Also, I have had positive experience with house exchanges. We researched websites and 
I’m so glad you posted this because this is how I try to live my life.
People are oftentimes quick to complain, but not so quick with saying a simple “thank you.” It really catches people unawares when I call to express my appreciation. Many times people have said they were just doing their job.
People need to feel they matter. Animals need to feel they matter. I don’t discriminate or hold back with smiles and appreciation.
Just imagine what kind of world we would live in, how everyone would feel if we treated each other with more kindness and compassion.
You get what you give, so give what you want.
Love it! Would be perfect for T-shirts, coffee mugs, bookmarks…
One of my favourite quotations by one of my favourite people:
“People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
~ Maya Angelou
I like that quote too. I have a reminder on my desk that tone matters because people respond to the tone of your voice more than the words themselves.
I totally agree. The tone — the energy — is what matters. We respond quickly and viscerally without even realizing it.
I’ll give you a good example. This week we had a late meeting on the night that I go play music. A woman I work with came and suggested that I handle the first part of the meeting so I could go play and she would take the last meeting. However, something felt off center about it, her tone and the energy, soI asked her what else was going on. She said that she had child care issues and needed to be late. That wasn’t a problem and I was glad to help. What I didn’t like though was feeling manipulated. Sincerity matters.
Patience isn’t one of my virtues. I was standing in the wrong line when that was being handed out. Being played/manipulated or straight out lied to, well that’s not something I appreciate.
Life would be much simpler if people were honest with each other. I don’t want to have to second guess what’s really going on. Gets my brain cells tied up into knots.
I don’t know how I would have handled things if I had been you. I know I wouldn’t have been impressed.
When “those moments” happen and you have a suspect there is a ONE question that needs an answer. You know – - when the questioner seems to be digging to substantiate their answer — stop them with a question. I urge practice of “what is it you would like to know?”. This is in place of feeling cornered (which it is).
Compliments are easy to give, especially when in a line-up and someone has a stunning jacket/haircut/whatever. Now I am old I give compliments to “drop-dead-gorgeous-make-me-drool” men.
I did what I would have done in first place, told her it was not a problem and then reminded myself that she is someone I need to feed with a long handled spoon.
“To feed with a long handled spoon” — I like that. I’ll have to remember that one.
I’m very grateful for VN. Thanks for this post. I sincerely complimented someone the other day and I didn’t have to. It caught her by surprise, because it was also in the midst of office politics that were not working in my favor.
Long story short, I had forgotten about it until I saw this post. I thank God that was in me and that I did it. I will make sure that I grow in a much more gracious attitude and approach.