Complaining
Complaining has reared its ugly head again and not just in my own thinking but, my own thinking is what I am mainly concerned about. I eat a healthy breakfast every morning, oatmeal and flax with fruit and tea while I read A Course in Miracles lesson on line. That way I’m starting the day by feeding both body and soul with something nourishing and sustaining. The rest of the day may go to hell but I have a fighting chance of that not happening by starting it off right. Today’s lesson 132 said, “I loose the world from all I thought it was and choose my own reality.” It was a good message to have today.
I had a drink with a teacher I work with who is upset about the change in my teaching assignment next year because it means we won’t work together. The change was handled badly, badly enough for me to consult with a teacher advocate group. My instinct which I trust and have experience trusting told me that the change, while not handled as well as it could have been is in my best interest. “The right thing is happening.” I heard that from spirit and I trust it. I decided to accept the change and make peace with it. Not only did I make peace with it, I’m excited about it, make that was excited about it.
When I got finished talking to my friend I was back where I started, resentful, frustrated, hurt and angry. Nothing is inherently wrong with those feelings. Some would argue that they are justified, reasonable and understandable. My problem with them is that I know that they are a spring board to negativity. I wish I could say that I let it go as quickly as I did the resentment and frustration I felt the other day but I didn’t. This was closer, it was more personal and more challenging to let go of. “The world you see changes as you change your mind,” ACIM. Wanting desperately to see my world differently, I made a determined effort to change my mind and reminded myself of the truth as I know it, of the bigger picture.
The right thing is happening, the right thing for me, that right thing for the school. I teach in a low income area. 90% of our students are on free or reduced lunch and they come to school with the heavy baggage of poverty. I carried the same heavy baggage and was able to lose with the help of good teachers and a public education. Public education matters, it matters a lot. The children who need the most get the least and that is true now as much now as it ever was. It’s also true that now, more than ever before, teaching is daunting and critical challenge. Public education is critical to the future of our children and our country. Democracy is an amazing concept, truly astounding and it cannot by definition exist without an education populous. So I teach.
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
this is speaking volumes to me. about change and about trusting that things are unfolding as they should.
in my case, we just read on MLS that our office is sold. What?????????? Nothing like being left hanging. gulp.
However, I have to trust that things are unfolding as they should.
I know exactly what you’re saying WM! I have a couple of friends who I don’t see very much, but throughout the years have always enjoyed their company. The one gals’s husband left her for another woman FIVE years ago & the other girlfriend has been off work with a back injury. It’s exhausting having a simple coffee with either of them! All they do is unload, totally bitter & wallow in it so much that they don’t want to talk about anything else. The first couple of times I’d be sympathetic & tell myself they just need to vent, but I found myself taking it home with me, leaving me feeling negative & angry. Now, I’ll stop them after a minute & ask them what they plan on doing now. Look ahead…the deed is done…why let it eat you up? I wonder if either of them has an inner voice. Or if it’s so stifled it can’t get through!
I agree NanaC. I seem to be always trusting what transpires in front of me, which, if I question something to myself,& my instincts are pretty high, to guide me in the right direction. What I do wonder about myself is:
Am I trusting this way because it seems to keep me in the flow of things, thus keeping me in my comfort zone, & perhaps (*gasp*) taking a lazy way out?
Unlike Watermusic, I haven’t had a good innervoice episode…a potentially lifechanging one…for some time now. My consience seems to be bored. When I walk the dog I don’t have anything exciting to amuse myself with.
Now Im left questioning…WHY? It’s not like me at all! (A few years ago while walking my beautiful Molly, I wrote a play over the coarse of 6 months or so. I picture a scene & write & re-write a hundred times before we were home…it was wonderful!)
Let’s just talk about life changing inner voices sometimes! My most memorable moment involved a canoe, a class IV drop and a life changing argument with God. Trusting my inner voice has NEVER kept me in my comfort zone. It has,however, kept me in the flow of my own life and its well being even when it didn’t make sense, and it often doesn’t. I discovered faith and trust the hard way and against my will, that’s how it felt at the time anyway.
The best way to connect with your inner voice is to listen to it about small things, what to wear, fix for dinner, what book to check out of the library. You develop trust with baby steps. To hear the voice of God and Spirit you must first silence the clamore and falldoral of your own idol thoughts. Thats another reason I’m doing this challenge.
At the risk of sounding like some kind of sociopath, I’m dreamer & I’m sure I don’t trust myself totally, for fear that it’s just my vivd imagination working overtime again. Although. like you said, the little things, my inner voice kicks is quite often throughout most days.
Just last Friday I had 2 experiences where I found myself under caution by, well, not exactly premonitions, but just…a feeling. One had to do with finding something in a weird spot & there it was, & the other was while driving I just knew that guy stopped at the stop sign was going to pull out & possibly hit me. Good thing his brakes worked cuz that’s what happened.
Idol thoughts. Hmmmm
There is a difference between idle (idol because of the importance we give them) thoughts and intuition. I don’t go against my inner knowing, intuition, and guidance. Discernment is a tool that is acquired and developed over time and with experience. It helps you to recognize the difference between idol thoughts and inner knowing.
From my experience inner knowing and inner wisdom is quiet and comes with a quiet confidence and certainty even when I don’t want to do what I’m being guided to do. The situation I’m in now falls into that category. You want me to what!!!! Like I said, I trust it. I trust it because I’ve allowed myself to have experiences with it in small ways so that when something big comes along I have the faith in it and myself.
About being a dreamer:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b7qaSxuZUg
Your post hit a nerve with me. I am one of those who SOMETIMES unloads. I will be cautious in the future after reading your post. I vent because I need feedback, positive or negative. I thought that was what friends were for. Why is it that each word needs to be carefully selected? Can’t we be free to express ourselves?
I have great difficulty with discernment. I usually say what is on my mind and YES, it has gotten me in a lot of trouble. I usually leave and event beating myself up for something I said. Because most likely it was too honest, to negative, to something.
I work on it daily…
So, where does that leave you?
The original announcement was that our lease is up and they would be relocating us by June 30. However we are all agents working in this neighborhood and there are tons of office space available, none of which has interesting them, because of cost and parking.
Then a week ago, we all SEE that our office is actually for sale. And now sold. but nobody even made an announcement that this would/could happen. I was hoping that they could work out a new lease/renovation and all would remain the same. But not.
Alternatively I could go to another brokerage but believe me this is a HUGE deal. Years of branding gone poof? Hardly what I want.
Our head office is 20 miles away. We keep hearing rumours that they will announce a work at home package, which does not work for me at all. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment, and my spouse is semi retired and under my feet all day. Plus if I put out business cards/promotion/flyers/stationary saying my office is 20 miles away, my clients will lose interest altogether. Plus the head office location is in a 40 story building, with even worse parking problems than here. Guaranteed none of our clients is going to meet me in the boardroom 20 miles outside our neighborhood.
Alternatively I could look at another brokerage. All kinds of them, but I’ll never have a private office again, never have the deal I have were I am. Ever.
Or just keep waiting it out, and maybe now that the building is actually sold and there is no possibility of working anything out, maybe they will committ to office space somewhere in the same neighborhood as they said they would in the beginning.
I am loyal to the brand. I do have an exceptionally good deal. I keep hoping it will work out somehow. Although it feels like I’m walking down a gangplank. Only 6 weeks away and we still have no space makes all of us with an awful hanging feeling.
We’re hearing all kinds of rumors including amalgamating with another local office but that would include changing brands. So whats the difference between me going out and negotiating a deal on my own, or are they negotiating a deal for all of us. (60 agents)?
And nobody is saying anything which is driving all of us up the wall!
Are you sure you’re not working in education? ;) I’m saying a prayer for you. That not knowing and feeling like you don’t have much control over what happens sucks. Faith is a powerful thing.
Are you sure you’re not working in education? ;) I’m saying a prayer for you. That not knowing and feeling like you don’t have much control over what happens sucks. Faith is a powerful thing.
PS I hit report by mistake. I’ve lost my mind….that’s not negative, just an observation.
Hosannah in the higest to you and all teachers. I thank you and my children thank you and the country really should be thanking you even more.
Absolutely love A Course in Miracles and now looking for a group to gather round and explore and learn and be. I don’t think anyone likes change — unless planned by oneself and carried out successfully.
I used to bang on the table (mentally) and whine — ‘if I only understood’ — until the ACIM somehow got the message across that I don’t have to understand — God does and what I have to do is say ‘thank you’ — shut up and listen.
Public education used to be the backbone of this Democracy. Then folks got frightened about who their children were mixing with — and private schools began to pop up, scoop up some of the best teachers. – Because of the tuition they charged, they could pay them more. I truly believe that changed the whole picture of public schools.
Nanacatharine — I am so with you about ‘not knowing who, what, when, why?’ I really hate being in the dark — but — I read years ago that God really knows what we need and all we have to do is say ‘thank you’. Oversimplification – but think of how many ‘thank you’s’ in a day could help short circuit fear!
You are so right about education…unfortunately good teachers are not rewarded fairly. If we don’t educate our young properly, we are losing our future. I am forever gratful to my children’s teachers, they helped me make them who they are today!
On getting together with negative people…I am with you. Yesterday, I visited my sister. had not seen her in days and we live 7 blocks away! I was glad to see her and stayed for a couple of hours….came home with such negative feelings. I knew for certain why I don’t visit more often. My negativity fast is still on, with ups and downs, but mostly ups…Thank you so much for this idea!!!