“Hey, Deb, would this count as not being negative if I told someone they were positively a fool? I can add a form of the word positive to almost any statement…does that count?” Cheryl posted this on Facebook. What can I say about Cheryl? She’s southern, born and bred. Think Tyler Perry’s Madea meets southern aristocratic want to be. Cheryl will tell you what she thinks and not mince words about it and because she is southern, she’s going to sprinkle a little sugar on.
I’m never going to be a southerner but I do love the south, especially that special breed of southern women who will cut you to the quick and leave you wondering what the hell just happened. I’ve never been able to figure out how they do it. I’m more likely to want to blow something up, jump onto the internet to research how to do and not get caught, get sidetracked by the history of bombs, start reading about the WWII and before I know it I’m on a tangent and have forgotten what started it. I would make a very poor revolutionary.
I’m not being positive, simply eliminating negativity. I keep telling people that because they keep assuming eliminating negativity means being positive. It doesn’t. It’s subtle but important distinction. I told Cheryl that name calling would fall under negative even if its sugar coated and no one can sugar coat negativity like a southern woman.
What’s more important is the agitation that prompted you to call him a fool is negative to your spirit and it makes whatever you say and do relatively ineffective. That is the real reason I am doing this challenge.
I have needed to take a stand for myself and others at work recently. The difference between now and before I started this challenge is that my spirit is not nearly as agitated and my decisions are originating from a position of inner strength and confidence. The actions I have taken are more powerful than if I had resorted to the rabble rousing and moral outrage I am inclined to engage in. Rabble rousing and moral outrage make me feel like I’m doing something when I’m not, most of the time it’s empty rhetoric. It feels good, it sounds good but it ain’t doing a dang thing.
I’m doing this challenge because I want to soothe my agitated soul. I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find that I am calmer more often even with stress and chaos going on around me and I am more consistently peaceful. I am able to take action in a way that is empowering, peaceful and, best of all, more effective.
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
I’m sorry for the double posting, ladies. That’s what happens when I’m rushing to get out the door.
Until 13 years ago, I too used to resort to rabble rousing and moral outrage because ‘People needed to be set straight!’
Then my darling father and brother died 7 weeks apart, both in unexpected deaths.
After coming out of the rubble, I had a very different outlook on what mattered and what didn’t. And as devastating as those loses were, the difference it has made in me and my approach to everyday life has been remarkable. I live by a scoring system which gives all issues a number based on their level of importance. This is not to say that with every issue I have a conscious thought like “Hhhhmmm, I think I’ll give this a ’4′. ” But it takes a whole lot to get me ruffled now.
Many times I’ll have the conscious thought “Will this even matter tomorrow or next week, or next month?” So many times, the answer is NO! Then why bother? I focus on the things that really do matter according to my own set of standards and rules. This has given me an inner peace that I wish I could bottle and give away as a gift.
I am usually entertained being around my friends who get deeply involved in a ‘serious’ discussion to the point that they raise their voice or get really agitated. When all is said and done, and the subject changes, I am still calm and cool and they are sweaty and worn out. Maybe they feel better. I don’t know, but I love not letting stuff get to me unless it truly matters.
A very dear friend once told me “The person who keeps silent has all the power. When the other people don’t know what you are thinking they have no recourse.” That same special friend taught me my most favorite life strategy. “If it’s not a question, you don’t have to answer”. It drives people crazy but it works so well with passive aggressive people!
I love that you are starting to feel more calm and peaceful. The more you practice being positive, the better you will get at it. And soon you will see that others will follow your lead.
Wow, great response, thank you. People are responding to me differently, some people are keeping their distance other people change the subject if it gets to be negative. I love the quotes from your friend and have copied them on a card to keep. I am just now getting a glimmer of that power and calm inner authority. That’s an odd thing for someone who loves words and believes they can change the world. It’s interesting to consider the power of silence. I noticed a bit ago that we shout our grievance so loudly that we do not hear the voice of God. When I sing or play my fiddle I listen and make room for the silence between the notes because that is were music is born. What is born in the silence of peace?
What is born in the silence of peace?
Happiness
Confidence, inner authority.
You got it sista!