Really Important Stuff That Happened When I Was Gone Edit this entry
Posted on June 20, 2012
Because the sum total of the money I have made from blogging approximates that of the current Greek GNP, and because I like to engage in frivolous activities like paying the mortgage, I decided to focus on my real estate career for a while, instead of on my keyboard.
Stepping back from blogging for a while afforded me an invaluable perspective. One was that world events kept eventing, even without my snide comments. Studies shrieked that Boomers hated their sex lives, while other studies shrieked that Boomers loved their sex lives. Paul McCartney turned either 70 or 170. The 104-year-old woman who is taking care of her 86-year-old daughter is still taking care of her. Joan Rivers turned either 79 or 179.
More technology that I never understood anyway became obsolete, replaced by newer technology that I will never understand. Megapixels have gone the way of land line phones. The era of the gigapixel has begun. One gigapixel captures 1000 times the information as that of the megapixel. New research proves that no matter how much information is contained in a gigapixel, most people have no knowledge of the Pacific Ocean.
Mitt Romney has finally articulated his plan for creating economic stability in our country. As a member of his finance team explained to ABC News, “If you look at 100 people, if that 100 people can raise a million dollar apiece and then they can get the people that they are raising the money from to go down the line and raise like a pyramid $50 [thousand], $25 [thousand], $10 [thousand], $5 [thousand], you can get Governor Romney to that $6 [hundred] or $700 million he needs to articulate his ideas in our current political environment.”
Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher, in a bid to be elected to Congress, has released a video in which he links the Holocaust and the Armenian genocide to gun control. After most people viewing the video objected to proposing a link between genocide and gun control, Joe said, “I’m not saying gun control was causing the Holocaust in any shape or form and the people who are saying that are motivated by petty partisan politics,” he told ABC News. “I believe ultimately the left, they hate history.” A survey of the left revealed no special animosity toward history, with the exception of some negative feelings concerning the Little Ice Age.
Philadelphia has been declared the Bed Bug Capital of America by New York, which used to be the Bed Bug Capital of America but felt that being the Graffiti Capital of America was enough of a responsibility. Philadelphia, in response, declared Baltimore the Gang Capital of America.
Researchers found that people tend to wake up in a good mood, which progressively worsens over the course of the day, but then picks back up from dinnertime to bedtime. This scenario is true for weekdays or weekends and applies as well to being on vacation or being held as a political prisoner in Central America.
Researchers now know that it’s possible to eat healthy food, exercise and not lose any weight. I am not making this up. I wish I were.
And finally, in lieu of reading my posts, my loyal readers managed to find other ways to amuse themselves, such as hoarding, extreme couponing, and starting blow up doll collections. When told that I hadn’t been blogging in over a week, most responded with “Huh?”
Sad to say, I’m back. Or not.