When someone wins an Oscar, for the rest of their lives that descriptor precedes their name. And that distinction can never be taken away. Now, no matter what, Sandra Bullock will always be described as “Oscar-winning actress, Sandra Bullock”.
So… It got me to thinking… When people describe me–what adjective do they always put in front of my name?
What adjective do you think, always describes you? To your face… Or behind your back? Is there a difference? Do you know? What is velcroed to your name?
In corporate America, when someone has been singled out by management as a rising star, they often conduct what’s called a 360 review–where the circles of people who are around this person, get to say what they really think in a confidential survey. It can also be done when someone in a key position is becoming troublesome, in an effort to let the person see “the results” without the names of their peers, attached. The mirror does not lie. The same adjectives will pop up over and over.
Words like… “always late,” “imperious,” or “condescending” have a way of being reflected in comments across the board. And, other words like, “always kind,” “honest-to-the-core,” “fun-loving,” “people-pleasing” and “resilient” will be attached to others.
Our lives create that adjective–cemented in the minds of others and used to describe us, even when we might not know it. For most of us, it does not come from an award, like an Oscar, or some title we were born into, like Princess, or an office we have run for, like President. It comes from behaving a certain way consistently over time.
How would you like to be known? Would you maybe like a do over? Or, in your own 360 review do you feel your adjectives are well-deserved?
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Years ago, in my twenties, I was playing a board game, I think it was called Life. Each turn you had to complete a sentence or answer a question. At one point I got “what would you like put on your tombstone” and I responded “she was a good friend”. Many years later that is still what I want to be and what I AM known for, for being a good friend. In return I have been blessed with great girlfriends.
Joss
Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests me. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.
It’s funny. I’ve been interviewing people for a vacancy in my unit. I’m in an unusual situation in that for the first time I do not know any of the people. So, they have been finding out about me while I have been finding out about them. When asked, the folks all said the same thing. The people say you are kind, fair and a straight shooter. I can live with that.
I would like to be known as a person that helped others regardless of where they came from.
I want to be known for empowering girls to look past their circumstances and reach for more out of life through education and inspiration. I am a huge believer in women being able to do whatever their minds decide.
I could not agree with you more. We are so engineered by DNA and society to nurture–outward–that to find ourselves and THEN nurture from a place of centered, confidence takes inspiration and education to put things into perspective that results in a fulfilling life.
I would be honored to be “The helpful person who is always fun to work with because she makes everyone laugh while at the same time using her endless energy to get things done.”
Hi there—-All of these responses would be wonderful to print in some pretty font and then frame and hang somewhere where you could see and support yourself in your goodness! These are all wonderful! I wish we knew each other!