My husband and I are just as guilty as any two people. When we were dating I never knew he had a moment of flatulence. Since “day two” of our marriage, he seemed to have acquired an explosiveness that does not match his quiet, shy-guy personality. Thank God, we have never shared a bathroom because even more familiarity could tip the gross-o-meter into the danger zone.
Forget those “just because” flowers. The last surprise gift I received was a pair of very expensive sunglasses—-he found them in the middle of the street, while jogging. Only scratched just a little(possibly from the fall off the roof of the previous owner’s car?).
I have my own share of careless disconnects in his direction (although I can’t think of a single one at the moment). So, after a dozen years of doing more and more of less and less, I decided to institute a sort of “We ARE Slipping” warning bell for both of us to use on one another.
So now, instead of feeling slighted and unappreciated, which can lead to all sorts of resentment and swirling emotional bits to harbor and hurl at one another later—–thankfully, this has become a good natured game between us.
“Would you be doing/saying that if we were dating?”
That’s the question. It stops both of us in our tracks. It calls attention to our behavior that almost 100% of the time we would never consider doing with someone who deserves our best foot forward—rather than planted firmly in our mouths.
Just thought I would share.
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
The first paragraph was very funny, i can relate. Well, i guess that one becomes too comfortable… what can i say, i am guilty as charged.
I love that, and I am going to give it a try, we’ve been married much loner, 49 years, so things can really be in a state of disconnet, but we keep trying!
For the past 34 years, I have dated my husband. He tells me that I make him laugh……and I am always in trouble, Oh well. When he came home for lunch the other day, I put footprints in the carport and into the kitchen…..use your imagination. Along came someone to the kitchen door with a package;
And the young think you are dead. Each day is a wonderful gift….accept it and use it and be thankful for it. My husband is my best friend, my husband and my lover. He is also our provider ….. why hurt each other…..why not appreciated our good qualities and continue to work on the not so good qualities….and there are many. Each couple faces problems in the course of time.. work together, trust and honor…..you do not always have to agree…trust me. Work together and come to a conclusion and do not harbor grudges…..going out to dinner, helps a discussion. One is on their best manners. We are like children and sometimes one of us has to play the grownup. In the finance area, my husband has the last word and in the family problem circle, I quess I come to the conclusion of what is right and what is wrong.
Kathie, I love your response! So sweet & loving. Joe and I have been married for 24 yrs. and I agree with you completely about everything you said. We keep going to the marriage retreats at church and I still buy the different books that come out now & then on how to add more romance in your marriage. I believe no matter how good your marriage is, there is always room for improvement. I am a caregiver for 2 in my home so there is always stress that works against us, but we have God on our side…we just need to stay close to HIM. Thanks for sharing, Kathie.
Lynette, I agree…the 1st paragraph was sooo funny. It sounds like our home at times! LOL! We, too have many things to work
on.
How perfect! I am going to initiate this into our daily lives also. This is a second marriage for both of us – his ended in divorce, mine in my husband’s death, so we both have a lot of baggage. I have learned that he and his ex didn’t discuss things, they fought about them, so even the most simple and routine relationship issues are met with defensive anger. I know this exercise will be worth a non-evasive shot. zsa zsa