“Wall Street swindler Bernie Madoff failed to protect his assets with a bankruptcy motion. His lawyer tried to get all charges dropped. He argued that Madoff is no longer a threat to society because there aren’t any rich people anymore,” writes Argus Hamilton in jest.
Here’s two more mock news items from Hamilton:
“Earth Day is a day when Democrats call for new sources of energy to replace fossil fuels, and Republicans make an extra effort to replace their divots.”
“Captured Somali pirate Abduwali Muse appeared in a Manhattan federal court where he was arraigned on charges of piracy. The 5-foot-2, 90-pound African teenager broke down crying in court. He doesn’t want to be adopted by Madonna.”
Feeling stressed or sad? Humor helps – if it’s the right kind.
Did a situation turn tense? Humor can make evaporate the sweat of stress – when it’s the right kind.
When feeling powerless – or overpowering – the right kind of humor can even the playing field so everybody can relax a bit.
Want to bring others closer? Try the kind of humor that leads to living well – with others. This might help….
Frank Visco wrote, tongue-in-cheek that, “One should never generalize” but I will. Everyone takes one of three approaches to humor:
1. Divide: Using it to defend or deflect and thus divide.
2. Unite: Using it as a way to relieve tension, heal hurt feelings or otherwise bring people closer.
3. Ignore: Seeing it as silly, a waste of time or both. Humor should be deflected or ignored.
Each behavior affects others in different ways.
First the worst.
1. Divisive Humor is Insulting to Someone … and Often Hilarious.
Even well-meaning, kidding humor from someone who knows you well can hurt. He knows where to strike. As in the Rules of Combat, “The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.”
In your car, patience is a quality you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. In humor, if it’s funnier to say than to hear, then it’s divisive.
There are exceptions. Some apparently divisive humor is often unifying because of the near universal opinion of the target. One method is to simply repeat the target’s words. Here are examples.
1. A music reviewer wrote, “Few people know that the CIA is planning to cripple Iran by playing the Bee Gee’s ESP album on special loudspeakers secretly parachuted into the country.”
2.”Please provide the date of your death.” ~ a quote from an IRS letter received by a reporter.
3. Sometimes the institution sets itself up for a double shot of humor. Here’s a Correction Notice in a British newspaper: “We apologize for the error in last week’s paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce.”
4. In his testimony before Congress as to his role in Iran-Contra, then Colonel Oliver North, said, “I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.”
5. Some apparently divisive humor merely reflects the understandable emotion of the moment. Thus it becomes unifying. “Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.” said football coach Bill Peterson.
6. “It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another.”~ George H. Bush
7. Happiness, for some, is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
To help a group recover from someone’s use of divisive humor, try unifying humor: “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
In the next post I’ll describe how unifying humor cracks tension, improves health, brings us closer, makes us more popular, more hopeful – and more money, yet not necessarily thinner, unfortunately.
My inspiration for this article was the passing, last year, of a much-loved actress who used unifying humor to side with the underdog. Her wisecracking warmth enabled her to speak up on the sometimes controversial issues in which she believed. A mark of using humor well is when it brings out the better side in others – even those with whom you disagree. You did that so well and so often, Beatrice Arthur.
other blog entries from »
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
Thanks for this article ,as the tenth child in my family, humor was what we used for “entertainment” growing up mostly without TV as for me I had to be quick wit or get “done in” by older and wiser siblings, I was once told by a boy in school , you are a very attractive girl, but you don’t give the guys a chance and they are afraid to interact because you can “cut them down” that was the greatest lesson I learned from a peer of the opposite sex that I took to heart it helped me on my marriage , many times my husband would make a joke (Never rude or demeaning) just “poking fun” and I would allow him to have his “fun” without bursting his “bubble” I think it saved many hurt feelings along the way and when I need to use my humor I chose to not let it be divisive….. the older I get the less I see need for it , this world in many ways is a joke in itself.
Fayette
Sounds like wise advice, showing you are comfortable with yourself enough to not need to “defend” yourself – and that approach can be a self-fulfilling prophecy…I am going to take it to heart
Thanks kate, and i enjoy “meaty” articles like yours, these are the kind that you wish people would do long threads about…but it is always easier to talk about the improvement or the mistakes of others.