And here I was still struggling to keep a lid on this e-mail business – you know, juggling my “real life”, with the oh so tempting lure of electronic chit chat. But now, E-GADS, Facebook is everywhere! And it’s so damn complicated. How is a fifty something year old whose memory of hand penned notes on monogrammed stationary is still fresh, supposed to navigate this rats nest of information overload?
What in the world is a “Wall”? Poke someone? (sounds so rude) Status update? (status in whose eyes?) News feed vs live feed? Photos vs albums? Messages, comments, links, profiles, and oh my God, all these people talking to each other, all day every day. Sending pictures and videos and notes and pokes and suggestions and quizzes, and, and and.
The whole page is some kind of wild scrambled kaleidoscope of a window into all these random, vaguely familiar, people’s lives. How tempting. How titillating. How seductive. One thing leads to another, an endless web of cross currents, cross pollination, tangled threads. A labyrinthine construct if there ever was one. If I dig to the end of it (IS there an end to it?) might I find the Minotaur and be eaten alive? Is this voyeurism run rampant. And are we all willing to pull up the shades and let everyone watch? Makes my e-mail list look like alphabet blocks in a kindergarten room.
So how do we handle this? Surely its too much? More than a little too too much of a good (?) thing. I’ve been on a quest to simplify my life, I’m living here in rural Maine with a man I love, where life is slow, and days are long, yet somehow, oh so innocently, oh so slowly, I’ve let this twelve headed viper sneak up on me. Can I tame it, or do I have to cut off it’s heads and be rid of it once and for all?
Its not that I’m an ultra private person. I mean really, who am I to talk, I’ve been baring my soul weekly to any and all who care to “tune in”, first in my journal here, and now my Blog Circle entries. Somehow that felt singular, an ongoing conversation with each of you – this feels like mass hysteria. And I can’t plead innocent, it’s been sucking me in like a rip tide. I’m appalled at myself. I open it’s cage door thinking I’ll pat it on the head and read one simple message, then it’s got me by the throat. I see this and that, and her and him, and he said, and she said, and who knows who and next thing I know, I’ve been in an abducted for an hour or two! Lunch? Laundry? Painting? Writing? Who is Russ?
So don’t even mention Twitter. I’m already having visions of very large blue birds… nightmares…remember the movie? Alfred Hitchcock – all those squawking, pecking, descending, devouring, “Twittering”(!) birds? Even the nice ones ganged up on you in the end and you were really sorry you ever put up that bird feeder. And you thought they were cute harmless little things.
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
IT MAY HAVE SOME SETBACKS. ( BUT,FOR US DISABLED) ,ITS THE BEST HELP! ALL AROUND THAT IS !
Traveling ,is seldome.but,much easier,without having to drag lugage etc.
BUSINESS ADDRESSES & ZIP CODES.AND somuch more! ENJOY
pmc – I can only imagine what the miracle of the internet – in all of it’s ramifications – would mean to those otherwise disconnected from the world due to disabilities. Thank you for reminding me that there are always other perspectives than my own. Thank you for writing. All the best to you – Sarah
I love, love, love Facebook. I’ve reconnected with so many old high school, college, and work buddies. Twitter, have not tried it, don’t care to…
Tamara – I do see the connection/reconnection possibilites – I too have “found’ people I would otherwise have been unlikely to have unearthed. So I’m getting from everyone that the upside outweighs the down. OK! Thanks – Sarah
Hee hee. Sarah, You really need to use your ignore button more. No one takes offense. I have reconnected with high school and college friends, I keep more up to date with my relatives and friends who have moved away (it’s a great vehicle for sharing pictures and videos), and have made friends with people all over the world. I take the occassional stupid quiz and limit myself to 2 mindless virtual games, when I need to escape reality. I join groups common to my interests and write on my congressmens’ walls. I did get sucked in for a while and when I realized how much, I took a vacation from it (talk about withdrawal symptoms). When I came back, I imposed a time limit, and when time is up, I’m outta there.
You are so right – it’s up to me to set limits – I CAN tame the damn beast! It does have its good points, I have to admit. I like your idea of enforced abstinance as a way to break a building habit before it’s grip becomes lethal – good idea. Congressmen have Walls too? Hmmm- that does open up a new level of usefullness. OK, I’m in! – Sarah
Facebook is totally addicting and an incredible time suck! I have to limit myself to a few minutes each day or I’ll never get any work done… but on the other hand, as a web designer, I find social media fascinating… and it’s taking over very quickly…
Facinateing – yes. Taking over very quickly – most definitely. No point I suppose in trying to swim against the current, so, like you, I’ll learn to navigate the new waters without being washed away, or left in the backwash. The times they are a-changing once again! all the best – Sarah
Know what you mean. I kept getting a message from someone I’d known for years asking to be “my friend.” And I dutifully replied by regular email that I thought we WERE friends. Then my 50th (don’t even ask) High School Reunion came along with the suggestion that we use FACEBOOK to reconnect. I joined; found out where the “friend” request originated and also found my children and grandchildren, who, for some reason I can’t fathom, think this is better than picking up the phone. I tried, I really did. But I just don’t have an urgent need to know (as in, I don’t care) what everyone is doing this second. Way too much personal information on Facebook and I can’t help but wonder how it will be abused. As with many sites, subscribing is way easier than even finding the “unsubscribe” page. I remember that my Mother spoke of soap opera characters like friends and vowed that I’d endeavor to make and keep the real thing. But, I find myself using VN as a morning Coffee Klatch. The difference, I think, is that we have two-way conversations on VN – not the two-word twitter or acronyms used by those who frequent Facebook. I am grateful for the tools of communication that technology has provided (telephone, computer) but they are just that – tools – and not a substitute for a real friendship. I’m off of Facebook as soon as I can find the right page to get off…
I agree – the interaction here on Vibrant Nation seems more one on one – more “conversational” somehow. If for no other reason than the format is more straightforward, not to mention the more homogenous group dynamic at work. Since writing this piece, I’ve backed off of Facebook, and think I will stick to some new self inflicted rules about how often, how deep to get into the fray there. I”m stunned too by the preference for Facebook over even regular e-mail, not to mention the telephone. I don’t think my daughter ever calls any of her friends – they text and facebook (has facebook become a verb now?)
Not just Facebook. “Friend” has become a verb – As in “Friend me so you can also see the pictures I’ve posted”. Ooops, I mean “Friend me, so u can c the pics I put up 2″ ,
Sometimes you can block the games and food fights and stuff without blocking the friend. This helps. Put your cursor to the right of the first line of the post to reveal “Hide” and see if there is a “Hide ____” (whatever the intrusive app is). If so, click that. But sometimes you can’t.
I haven’t “found” anyone on Facebook but I’m getting a more rounded view of the people I know in one context only (writers’ retreat, women’s music camp, Children’s Music Network conferences), which I think makes our interactions better when I see them once or twice a year.
Nancey – Woah…more technology! Click the curser to reveal “Hide”? Ok – I’ll give it a whirl. As I said, my plan is to rope my 20 year old daughter into an afternoon of Facebook tutorial over Christmas – always best to go to the source dont’ you think, after all her generation invented this thing, and seem to have been born with cursers and keybords for hands! Thanks for your great tips! Sarah
And if you think that is bad, do you have a fish tank. I never seen such hungry fish. I have to feed them before I go to bed, early in the morning. These are not live fish – then if you have a farm, oh my gosh. It makes me tired. I do not work on my house as much as I do on the farm and I now have two. How crazy is that. That is just the little stuff, what about the zoo, sending gifts, and the games. I understand completely! I guess the biggests thing, I think it is a wonderful thing for most, but what happen to picking up the phone or sending a nice card to that person. We are loosing touch here – one on one. But most of us are on it. Sorry , have to run, need to feed the fish.
I know what you mean, Snookums. I had three farms, a fish tank, an apartment, a job in the bakery, etc. I could spend hours just maintaining them. Heaven forbid my cupcakes would burn or my crops go to waste! I finally removed those apps. But I still have to have my Bejewelled Blitz fix for the day. lol I love Facebook for keeping up with people I had otherwise lost touch with…former classmates & co-workers. People I don’t feel close enough to to pick up the phone & call, but still want to stay in touch with to some extent. Do I make any sense there? And for sharing photos…(have you seen the latest one of my granddaughter?) But they don’t call the internet a web for nothing. The threads are all tangled & one leads to ten others. I still find myself following them to some strange & wonderful places (like VN); sometimes not so much. Take the good with the bad, prioritize, set limits…just like in real life. Should follow my own advice.
Irish Rose and Snookums – Fish! Farms? A bakery? I have no frigging idea what in the world you’re talking about – are these little perks on Facebook, or somewhere else on the internet that you actually sign up for? then have to “tend” or the crops dry up, the fish die, the cupcakes burn? And what is a Bejewelled Blitz? I am obviously a mere neophite in this web of insanity – that’s what it’s beginning to sound like to me anyway. Yes – obviously the answer is to weed out the good bits while turning a blind eye, a deaf ear, and strong will to avoid the lure of the rest. Talk about Pandora’s box!
Hey Irish Rose, you make perfect sense to me. Maybe they should call them “Friends, Distant Relatives, and Aquaintances” instead of just Friends. Oh, and I left YoVille after the bakery went online and they cancelled the lottery. Took so much time to earn money, that I had no time to decorate. Can’t harvest crops, feed and pet my puppy, AND bake. Life’s too short. By the way, I found the Vibrant Nation link on the Facebook Pet Pupz page.
It’s nice to know that I am not the only one totally addicted to my Bejeweled Blitz fix, lol.
i love facebook. like many people i have re-connected with friends who are scattered all over the united states. and that is nice. plus i love playing online games so facebook works for me.
twitter is cool too. have been there for 3 months now.
Annie – well so far you definitely seem to be in the majority, so clearly there’s something to this whole phenomenon. Maybe it’s my hard wired introvert self that makes me instinctively want to run and hide (yes, the truth is out, I’m an INFP according to Myers Briggs) But I’m really glad this is working for you and so many others. I’ve decided not to murder the monster in it’s sleep, just keep it in a strong cage, paying brief visits from time to time – Twitter away!
I know your plight.I’m just going to read 1 little piece and all the sudden I’m caught up in a conversation (and they say I can join if I want to) and I’m engulfed !!BUT I love it.THANKS FOR SHARING
you need a like this button. ha!
Facebook is what you make it. No one is putting a gun to your head to make you post pictures or play silly games. If you want to write letters on stationery & pay postage, that is your business.I haven’t heard anyone say they dislike receiving hand written letters on paper they happen to find in a mail box outside their doors. It beats the usual fliers & bills.
It could be addicting I suppose since I spend a good part of an evening on it. However, it is usually during the time my husband is watching football on TV, which I am not interested in at all. I find FB yeh, abbreviation for Facebook, is a lot of fun. I refuse to give it up & find the challenge of sifting through intriguing.
Years ago, people fretted about old(er) women watching soap operas. Before that women read “trashy” dime store novels or went to the picture shows. Now we are “cougars”! We are a generation that refuses to stay with what those before did.
The best solution that helps me is this: time management! There’s a reason there’s a clock in the corner of your computer! Glance at it every now & then while telling yourself you did something for long enough & that it’s time to get supper, feed kitties or dogs,converse with a real person including spouse, even going to bed for crying out loud!
We have forgotten that we use to have nosy post men that would “accidentally” read post cards & letters, & knew what was place in your mail box. How about people that snatch out packages & checks?
Twitter or Tweet? Naw! that’s just too much! Texting is enough. Why don’t we just yak on a phone? That’s easier.
Right you are Audrey B. It’s the D word again isn’t it? – Dicipline. A dose of old fashioned self dicipline is all it takes to keep the FB mosnster safely in it’s cage. I hear you. And have learned a lot here about delete and hide buttons I hadn’t caught on to. My Facebook tutorial session with my daughter is scheduled after christmas -so with new found tools in hand, I look forward to a newfound, under control, take the good parts, leave the bad relationship with big bad FB. Thanks! Sarah
I’m sure this blog post was meant to be humorous, but honestly Facebook is not the devil… and it’s not that complicated. I stay in contact with my family and friends through Facebook all the time but I don’t do any of that Farmtown or Farmville stuff. My daughter taught me how to set up all the privacy options so that I don’t get messages from people I don’t want to chat with and if one occasionally slips through, if I don’t know them, I don’t ‘friend’ them. Easy as pie. You have the option of contacting them first so I always ask, “Do I know you?” in case the person happens to be a friend of a friend. Again, if the response is, “No, but I like your picture….”, then I don’t friend them, that’s it, that’s all. I like that you can post pictures there because I get to see more photos of my grandson dressed up for Halloween or a friend’s wedding, as well as post pictures of my own. I make and sell handcrafted jewelry so I am able to post some of my latest offerings on my page.
Twitter, on the other hand, leaves me cold. I got a Twitter account because one of the jewelry groups I belong to asked me to but I’m hardly ever there. You are only allowed 140 characters for posting and I am much wordy for that. ^_^ Also, you can’t post photos there and it’s more difficult to have an actual conversation there.
I know I am pretty close to being addicted to facebook. I am starting to feel like its my second job. Working both my farms. my cafe, amusement park, yoville. Its hard to pull yourself away to do things you need to do in real life. But its so fun!
I have just recently, within the last 3 or 4 months been using facebook and reading and replying to all kinds of posts here on VN. I tell ya, I really really love it. I signed up on twitter, but never ever go there. Dont like it much. Vibrant nation is better in alot of ways than FB. I feel more “connected” with other like-minded women here than with any other application. I feel like I have more “friends”, than ever before, and have learned a great deal about subjects that intrest me. Seems like every post is something Im interested in. Face book is much more of a time waster to me. Time just flys when Im on the computer, and I dont get a darn thing done around the house! Im 50, and will be going to college full time and working partime starting this month, so Im sure I wont’ have near as much time to spend here or on Face Book the next couple of years. VN played a big role in my decision to return to school. Facebook could never do that, although I have gotten alot of encouragement from my friends on there.
It’s so great to hear your take on Vibrnat Nation vs Facebook. Though either can sap a lot of time out of your day, at least here the subjects/discussions seem much more “on point”. As you say, almost every post is something interesting – an obvious advantage of the very focused membership here. We so indeed think about many of the same things, though opinions may vary, there’s much to learn from each other. I particularly impressed that your decision to go back to school was in part due to “inspiration” from your connection to other women here on Vibrant Nation. How wonderful! Good luck with your new undertaking. Have fun! all the best, Sarah
Any time I feel out of place or despondent about going back to school at my age, I just follow a thread on here that shows me Im not alone. Lots and Lots of others are in the same boat, and somehow, that link, and knowing Im not alone has been a big help for me. So, thanks VN, and thank you for your reply Sarah G!