Seriously. At 50+ can you honestly say you are beautiful?
Is it because your definition of beauty has changed over the years?
Has your need to be beautiful lessened or increased?
Is this you? You’ve suddenly blossomed into the vibrant woman you always wanted to be.
Or are you still struggling with the image in the mirror on those rare occasions you find courage to face it?
But, really, how much does “beauty” actually have to do with our lives? Is it just one of those overused words and ideals? Or is it the basis of all life? Of every woman?
“Beauty once seemed to me to be an accident of nature. …But now that I can see my life on my face, I realize we earn the way we end up looking. Time, it seems, gives us all a chance to really be beautiful.” – Ann Curry
So, is it safe to say that beauty has nothing to do with physical perfection? That therein lies confusion?
Perfection is often seen in terms of flawlessness and directly linked to beauty. Sure, that’s one way to look at it. But perfection as demonstrated by excellence is … perfection!
Can it be beauty is simply being the best we can be…physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?
So, let me ask again. Are you beautiful? And I don’t mean when you’re dressed to the nines. I mean right now. Where you are this very minute. In front of your computer screen. In your nightgown. Hair uncombed. Nails chipped.
Do your lips have a slight upturn? Are your shoulders relaxed? Are you content to be reading about beauty and seeing yourself for the amazing woman you are? Does your heart flutter just a bit…falling in love with yourself all over again or for the first time?
Not because you’re flawless. (There’s always room for improvement!) Because u r beautiful.
~ Diana Black
i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
I am beautiful to the people in my life who love me. What more could I ask for?
I am beautiful, and it’s not on the outside and really has never been. I believe inner beauty is so much more important and continues to get better and better all of the time, if we continue to grow. Then, I believe, that beauty radiates to the outer. Some of us will never be perfect or flawless, but we’ll still glow! ♥
Debi, I love your attitude (always do!!), and what you wrote made me think, being loved does make us feel more beautiful. Self-love and outward love is what makes LIFE beautiful! Oh, and did I mention I think you’re beautiful?!?!?
Thurman Lady, yes, you are beautiful! And love your comment about inner growth increasing our beauty…giving us that glow the whole world needs. Self-love, that’s what I’m hearing from you beautiful women. And I just love that! Thanks, TL, for making for a more beautiful life…
Our Moms were right when they taught us to look deeper to find beauty. To me being beautiful is being filled with anticipation of “What’s next?” in life. Expecting the unexpected keeps us fresh and youthful. Watching a child in wonder at a new view of nature, a new taste of food, or a brand new experience gives us a great way to approach our days. Also listening to others and giving them our attention and interest will make us more beautiful in their eyes.
We just lost four dear older relatives and friends. I remember them best for the sparkle in their eyes, the joy they showed at seeing us and the gracious way they made sure we were enjoying our visits. They were truly beautiful and full of life. I pray to be more like them
I know that I have a tender, sensitive soul and that makes me beautiful (also, people tell me that I am)………full of life, always…have always had that childlike nature (and my 97-year old teacher told me in the 3rd grade, that I was a fairy-child. I still am……..also…a freshman at age 64 (soon to be 65—-on Sept. 29th)!!
Hugs n Love,
Fairy-child
Happy Daze, it sounds like you are well on your way to being exactly like those friends and family who you remember for the sparkle in their eyes, the joy in their hearts! And I was also touched by your mentioning listening and being intrigued by “what’s next?” As long as we continue to learn, we will never grow old…and we’ll just more beautiful with each passing day. Thanks for your insight.
Alica “Fairy-child,” how “beautiful” to read you describe yourself as having a tender, sensitive soul. That self-love and willingness to tell the world. Bravo! And yeah for the teacher who took the time to really see you and then to share with you her positive observations. You say you’re a “freshman,” so does that mean you’re back in school? If so, again, bravo! I love learning!!
I am not beautiful but I had the heady experience of dazzling a young man recently. We were strangers sitting together at a restaurant and it so happened i was not only up to date in his career field, and therefore knew as much as he did, but also I had thought about certain things he hadn’t, and our discussion was spirited and full of verve. At the end of the lunch I could tell I’d snapped that young man’s head around – he was attracted but he didn’t know why. I’m old enough to have been his mother, so he was confused. It was the totality of my brain, confidence, and not-bad-for-57 looks. What an ego boost. I not only felt “beautiful”, I felt dangerous. Wahoo!
Lynne, i love your comment about having recenlty felt “dangerous!” i think some of us may need to reach for that feeling a bit more than we do at this age — given we have enough life experience to know the difference between feeling dangerous and BEING dangerous! :>) Also, I have to disagree with one thing you wrote. From what I’ve read and seen, Lynne, u R beautiful! Thanks for sharing your “daring” and down-right exciting experience!
Yes. I think that I am beautiful at 56. By our current societal standards I’m old and invisible. Doesn’t make me any less beautiful. We prevent ourselves from seeing so much beauty because we corral ourselves into “standards of”.
fouroct, you are spot on in that judging a person by “standards” is not healthy or wise. you sound like a woman who knows herself, so why on earth would she look outside herself for validation. Some days I’m better at that than others. I will remember your words. Thank you!
At the age of 63 my face is showing the lines of the life that I lived – the laugh lines and the squinting lines from the fun times at the beach with my Sons and the frown lines from my times of sorrow and tears. Like my predecessor here, many times I feel physically beautiful in spite of those lines because of the youngest of those Sons. He is a bass player who has a band and they are quite popular. He insists that I attend every gig he plays and there is always a mixed crowd as far as age but every one of his friends comments to him that his mother is “beautiful” and if I wasn’t his mother they would be asking me out. They are half my age. I’m not bragging and it doesn’t phase me anymore. I mention it because I know that the beauty they are seeing in me comes from the love I feel for my children and for that Son. He is very special. He always makes sure I get out among people and have fun and he is very proud to be my Son. He never fails to introduce me to his friends and share his life with me. I think his love could forever keep me young and beautiful.
damselfly09: what an amazing relationship you have with your son…and apparently with yourself. loved your comment that you feel your son’s friends/fans are attracted to you because they see the love you feel for your son. very insightful. i think we are all attracted to people who love…we hope if they don’t already, soon they will love us too. thanks for your great post!
What a great article! People tell me I am beautiful, but I believe that at 50 it is because I have an attitude of radiating inner beauty and that it is reflected outwardly. I once did an experiment with the law of attraction before going to an event. I psyched myself up by repeating “I am thankful that I radiate inner beauty”, which softens your expression and makes you wear an inner smile anyway. I got so many compliments – it was freaky. It’s not just what your hair, face and body look like – it’s how you carry yourself, your attitude (hopefully of gratitude) and the thoughts you choose to think. An open, loving, grateful, happy spirit creates the image of beauty. My inner glow is also enhanced by some highlighter powder from sephora placed high on my cheeks, and a little on the forehead and under the bottom lip. I consider myself a work of art that I create each day, which I think is what makes those French women look so chic. You are your own work of art!!
marianne: i love the law of attraction. and your take on its physical and internal properties. i believe, too, that we can only be beautiful if we feel it deep in our core. from there it shines out to the world. and sure, a touch of makeup can’t hurt! :>) thanks for reminding me to work on those beautiful inner thoughts.
I am myself, I like myself, and I don’t worry about being beautiful, I never have. Somehow I was raised without that need to be seen as beautiful. It saves a lot of time.
what strength of self i read in your comment, leb johnson. bravo! and again, as i’ve mentioned to several who graced this blog post, your words and confidence are wonderful reminders to me, to any woman who might be having “one of those days … months, years.” when we tell the world with our words, actions and thoughts we are worthy, the world responds in kind. thank you.
This is a wonderful post! I am amazed at all the ways that women have of being beautiful!
I’ve always been one of those “au naturel” kind of women and as long as my youthful beauty was flush, it was easy to feel beautiful. Now, as I’m on the threshold of turning 60, I feel at times faced with the self-image of a drab and invisibleness old women. It’s true that we have amazing qualities, as Lynn proves with her vibrant brain, confidence, and not-bad-for-57 looks. And damselfly’s inner beauty that exudes from her Love towards her son. I agree that these are our most outstanding ways of manifesting our beauty.
At the same time, I love the way that Marianne makes her radiant inner beauty visible by making herself “a work of art each day.” I’ve been reading a book (mentioned in a previous post) called Staging your Comeback: a complete beauty revival for women over 45. The designer calls it our “Second act”. He believes that as we age, women become even more beautiful — though often feel less attractive. His book is a guide for realizing that ultimate image of how beauitful you really are: How to make it visible on the outside. If you’ve given up looking beautiful on the outside too, I recommend this wonderful guide.
Cheers!
geralyne, how brilliantly you touched on each woman’s qualities and comments! ditto…what you said!! :>) i believe women are all beautiful in their own way. regardless of outward appearance or inner dialogue. it’s just staying in touch with that inner beauty and not being afraid to be as attractive as we can be. perhaps not so much to “attract” attention, but to be the best in all areas of our self. for one it may be a change in hair color from gray to red. for another, from red dye jobs to going naturally gray. if it feels right, then it is right…for that woman. bottom line, women rock!
I don’t feel beautiful because I am not at my best. I’ve let my weight creep up to way beyond what makes me comfortable over the last 10 years. I’ve taken it off once or twice but now seem stuck in some kind of bubble that says who cares, and it is easier to just eat when I feel emotional stress since that is my trigger to eat. Also I have late hours and while I COULD organize myself to eat earlier, I just wait till I get home and constantly eat late at night. Once I’ve started, I can’t seem to quit. I don’t feel beautiful anymore, though I used to, because I cannot find the me that can handle a routine that serves me better physically. I am working on the real reason I am still sad inside, and quell my sadness with cookies and other stuff. This has been a long, long journey and I hope to find my way back to beautiful this year, as I have just had a birthday and feel a new year can bring anything, even something as hard as retooling my reactions to deep level needs. Figuring this out and releasing 60 pounds of it in the form of body fat, would really be beautiful…..
Hello Lunchgirl, My heart goes out to you as I feel much of what you are feeling. Let’s both hope to have a better year, let us know how you are doing. Blessings to you…
Thanks very much KLE! It’s nice to have such a sweet message & concern. I hope to do well, one day at a time…today I had a day without sugar! Blessings to you as well!
Lunchgirl: I am sorry you are struggling with food issues. I, too, have been there. One thing that is connected with emotional eating is the Feng shui in your house. If you have clutter especially in your basement, it literally weighs you down. As I am decluttering my house and cleaning flood debris and old “gunk” from my basement, I feel more energy and therefore move more and exercise more – it’s a good cycle. I feel more at peace with myself now that some closets are cleaned, and clutter is being dealt with and more positive energy is flowing in my house. This may help you feel less stressed out when you feel like you are out of control. Negative energy is stored in so many ways in your house even sofas, mattresses, walls, ceilings, etc., that it may be causing you to feel down and thereby eat more. I hope this isn’t too far from the subject, but dwelling in a place that is peaceful and beautiful makes you feel good and feeling good makes you look good. Try to be kind to yourself today!
Thanks so much marianne! I wish it were clutter in my house but I don’t have any…am neat, clean, organized and simplified. In fact, cannot stand a lot of stuff around and clear things nightly so I can wake up to an organized and home as nice as I can make it. In fact the more I do this kind of stuff….the more my emotional eating surfaces, or I should say the more my awareness of it surfaces. I am hoping this is actually a good thing. But I will make special effort to be kind today…yes I will. Bless you!
Lunchgirl – I hope I didn’t imply that you weren’t neat – I am envious of people who are naturally that way and it doesn’t occur to me that people don’t have clutter like I do. Kudos to you for being organized bc that’s a gift in itself. I read that emotional issues can arise from clearing/cleaning, so maybe you hit a rough spot and will bounce back soon. I do guided meditations on youtube for relaxion, confidence, and healing, or whatever I need that day – they help me a lot since I can’t meditate alone or my thoughts are all over the planet. Feeling relaxed makes you look younger and I smile more when I am relaxed. Best to you
Oh no marianne, not at all….Imean I didnt feel you implied i was messy in my environment…how would you know if I were or not anyways. Just trying to explore all the answers and validating everything I come across…appreciated your points!
lunchgirl: i think many of us can relate, in one way or another. still you sound like a very self-aware woman. i loved what you wrote “…the more my emotional eating surfaces, or i should say my awareness of it…” what powerful insight, lunchgirl. denial is deadly while awareness is where life begins and resides. but, for me, sometimes when that awareness is really trying to surface, and i feel that gnawing in my gut, all i want to do is find that thing that will stuff it further down. all the while knowing it’s going to resurface again, and maybe even more strongly. for me, yoga is a good thing. it makes me stop and breathe until the feeling passes. i know you will find that thing that works for you. i can feel it in your words. in your beautiful awareness. someone once told me we are always the “best we can be at any given time.” i hope you continue being kind to yourself (and that we all do the same!). bless you for sharing. and let us know how you’re doing!
Thanks to each you beautiful, Vibrant Women for your inspiring and insightful comments!
To everyone reading this post, the French have a saying which I think is brilliant and wish that Americans would adopt, and it is: “She has the beauty of a woman her age.” Love them or hate them, that is a great attitude. Also, I have to note that French female movie stars work much longer and have better roles than we do – that may apply to other European countries, but I know the French shine in that area. A French woman values herself and takes great care of herself through facials, massage, and the joie de vivre attitude. Americans seem to be driven by our “to do” list (guilty) and think of massage as an indulgence, when in fact it has so many healthy benefits, and now, much more affordable through groupons, etc. Why not invest in yourself.? I believe taking care of one’s mind, body and spirit is a life time committment. I am only sharing a few thoughts, and not suggesting that everyone has these things at her disposal. Namaste, Marianne
I want to live in a nice big rambling house with enough friends of like mind to support every need we have. So one could be a masseuse, several could be really good cooks, some could love to clean the house (me) some could provide live music (me too) and some maybe could be wonderful storytellers. That is a REAL treat if you ever get to sit and listen to a live story teller, and it’s a total necessity once experienced. It could really be so much fun! Everyone contributes and let the universe handle who gets put together…wish I could make that come true. Someone could be a reiki healer and someone else could do that foot massage therapy that is so great. With the combined resources, we would all be so much further ahead! I’s hope for a lawyer and an accountant and maybe a stockbroker to help us deal with the finances. A cool community built on love and support.
i am beautiful because I love myself unconditionally
Powerful words, beautiful lady.
How did I miss this post in September? Maybe I wasn’t ready for it. Yes! I am beautiful. Maybe not in the way I was 25 years ago…but this is way better. I have compassion, love, patience, I am able to laugh at myself…loudly and with abandon…and I am able to look beyond the extra inches and wrinkles and a few sags here and there and see the spirit of a 20 year old with the wisdom of a 55 year old. Great food for thought…thanks for the post.
Vicky, I loved your comment that maybe you were not ready to read this post in September!
I think you also hit key points about finding beauty in laughing at ourselves, etc. And the spirit of a 20 yr old with the wisdom of a 55 (or plus like me!) yr old. Thanks for sharing your beauty with us.
I am beautiful because I am happy, I enjoy life, I love beauty, I am grateful, I have been blessed exceedingly, I love learning, I know what true joy and contentment feel like. It’s all good.
Doesn’t mean my adult son who isn’t yet getting a life doesn’t drive me crazy. Doesn’t mean my frequent headaches and food allergies don’t hurt. Doesn’t mean my life is perfect. Doesn’t mean I’m a size 4. Being beautiful has more to do with an attitude of “Life is good”.
Taking a hike with my dog in a conservation area, with the beautiful fall colors – now that makes me feel beautiful and vibrant!
Photogirl, thanks for pointing out that we can be perfectly beautiful even when life isn’t perfect! Like you said, it always goes back to being an “inside job.” Enjoy your fall with your furry friend! And stay beautiful!