I, for example, seem to have been extremely well trained by the nuns (granted, they threatened us with our lives) for even thinking about grammatical noncompliance (that wooden ruler — Sister, it worked!). As a result, to this day statements such as the following grammatical extravaganzas still have the power to blind me:
– There were less people than I expected. (fewer, please!)
-or-
– A lightbulb went off over my head. (and then there was darkness???)
-and finally-
– I would of been there and I was fixin to go but the bird up and died. Irregardless, did everything work out good? (take your pick)
Like a crow to a lost diamond earring, I go to the smallest glitches. A single misplaced apostrophe in an edition of War and Peace? I find it. Forget to close your quotation marks? I’m there. Inside it’s possible I actually gloat, though I draw the line at waving my hand as if to get the nun’s attention so she might call on me and commend me for my vigilance.
Some of the finer points of education can become a big fat burden.
What little arrows do you feel are slung precisely in your direction in the course of a day? You know, the ones with your name on them that don’t hit anyone else, because you secretly think that normal people wouldn’t be bothered by ________?
What is that pesky little thing that makes you crazy?
other blog entries from »
GO AWAY dust…I will NOT be a slave to you anymore! I refuse to pick up a rag and wipe you away…AGAIN… because you will just be back tomorrow and the next day and the next day!
I AM BUSY LIVING LIFE…GO AWAY!!!
poor grammar and misspellings drive me nuts. I do love finding them in novels because there is always some typo there. I am forever correcting people’s grammar-very bad habit.
Hey, I was trained by nuns too, but I still write with my left hand!!!
l. Dishes in the sink — I will even start washing them before i have my coat off….
2. An unmade bed — If I have to leave the house without making my bed it just doesn’t feel right all day….
It’s all a control thing for me…in the above two issues.
But recently…Michelle Obama is on TV asking for text message contributions for Haiti….and instead of saying “destroyed” she says “dashtroyed”…..I don’t know why, but it drives me crazy….why can’t she put her teeth together for a regular “s” sound…..don’t they have linguists or something who coach people of her stature to not sound like they are just off the turnip truck? (As you can probably tell I am not on the Michelle bandwagon, so I am probably a little more critical).
Oh, and one more — the one line openers for VN that just don’t make any sense…I just want to respond “huh?” but feel that would be too rude or maybe I am just too dense to understand.
My best friend in school wrote with her left hand, which the nuns told her was (as you will recall) sinister.
Only later in Latin class (when we learned that dextra- means right and sinestra- means left) did we grasp the meaning of what they were saying.
Or maybe we were right the first time and they really were calling my friend and her ilk spawn of the devil.
Spoken word: When people say, “It’s my forte.” and pronounce the e at the end. Arrrrg!
I’m sure the dictionaries are even now being rewritten to accommodate this colloquial mispronunciation, but I still cringe when I hear it pronounced fortay.
Forte pronounced [fort] means strength, strong point or defensible position; it is French.
Forte pronounced [for-tay] is a musical term meaning “loud”; it is Italian.
Written word: Accommodate spelled with one m or one c or one of each appears in numerous advertisements, books, and reputable publication’s headings. Double Arrrrg!
Perle
Perle,
Forte was my mother’s indicator word. She thought mispronouncing it unveiled the speaker as a fraud. From her reaction to this infraction, I learned how to raise one eyebrow with skill and discretion.
Oh no, I always say fortay…..I am duly corrected….
Hey perlesrose, my 30 year old dictionary still says it means strong.
Pronounced (fort, forta)n 1. Something in which a person excels; strong point.
forte adj, loudly
fort (without the e) means fortification.
I looked this up so I would correct my colloquialism. But, it’s ok to say fortay. So there are actually 3 fort, forte and forte. Three different meanings.
Although, I’m not too bothered about grammar, punctuation or spelling….I can’t stand when someone says “I’m good!” EG.” How are you?” answer “I’m good.”
-A swept kitchen floor. All those food and dirt particles make me cringe.
http://www.kezzo.etsy.com
Nit-picky perfectionistic people.
ouch! I’m down for the count, at least when it comes to errant hyphenation
Guilty!
Misspelled werds on those changable letter signs in front of stores and on markees just make me crazee.
Hi Sunblossom. I believe Mrs. Obama has a speech impediment or lisp. Everytime I listen to her I hear it. I do not think it can be improved with speech therapy or elocution lessons.
However I do like her and I can tell you are not a fan. I am not always impressed with her fashion sense though……..she gets it right about three out of five times.
Perlesrose, thanks for the forte lesson.
Seawriter this is a great post. Thank you.
Rosie, THANK YOU for saying that about MO’s fashion. I am so tired of Vogue magazine calling her a paragon of style. And they don’t do it just for her–but anyone they are politically in love with. lol
I was actually called a racist on a fashion website when I dared to say that MO could have been more first lady appropriate on her trip to the Grand Canyon. I wasn’t thinking suit and pearls, just knee lenth shorts and flats instead of running shorts and shoes. lol
Those signs are often windows into unsettled minds.
Well in the McDonalds in our town some kids came along and took the “G” out of Angus burger…..then they took a picture and posted it on Youtube…..pretty funny actually. We own a restaurant in the same town so it probably perked business for a day or two for us…
How about in newspaper headlines?
…And God created the editor, and He said “It is well.”
My husband losing something, then expecting me to know where he lost it! Also, people who say “I seen it.” As in “I seen that dress at the mall last week.” UGH!!! (Is this just a Midwest thing?)
No, that isn’t a Midwest thing. It’s prevalent in central and western PA. Even among college grads.
I HATE mess!!! I can’t stand disarray of any sort. It gives me the willies. The people on my job think I’ve lost my mind because I go around cleaning up all day long. Luckily for me – including myself – it’s a 3-people environment. However, I can’t go to sleep at night until I know every dish is washed. dried and put away and the garbage has been taken out – and I LIVE ALONE!!! In the morning, I NEVER go without making my bed whether I go out or not – you never know when someone’s going to stop by. I make sure I do laundry at least once a week because I hate dirty clothes in my house. And I ALWAYS make sure my clothes are put away – whether they be hung up in the closet, folded up in the drawer or put in the laundry basket. Again – you never know who may stop by.
Hallelujah! Persimian, you’re a woman after my own heart.
I like everything in it place, too, though I suspect I am less effective than you are in reaching this goal. Unless you’re willing to make an exception for desks.
I no longer have an untidy desk. Only because I sold it in a fit of downsizing. I now have a lap for my laptop. Although if I have to sit with my legs propped up on a footstool to balance it -is that still a lap?
My mind wonders and wanders….
Jasmine48,
Ive always hated to reach for a dish rag. Or WASH RAGS . LEFT IN A BALL.AND NOT RINSED.
And left open on the foset.CENTER OF DOUBLE SINK ETC.
1. Irregardless drives me crazy. But I really can’t stand it when people mix up insure and ensure. I’ve given up on trying to keep people from using typewrite as a verb, as they have added it to the dictionary.
2. People who wait to signal a lane change until they are actually changing lanes.
3.People who either don’t wash their hands after using the rest room, or put a few drops on their hands and call the job done. Please people. That’s just disgusting.
my husband is half deaf and usually has his earphones on for the TV. and he is always saying: WHAT?
I usually have to repeat things 3 times and the WHAT? is getting very irritating. But what can I do?
I’m getting quite good a sign language, lol.
Oh shoot I reported your message when I meant to click on love. So sorry.
Anywho, my husband is half deaf as well so I know how you feel.
You wonder sometimes if it isn’t just a ploy on their part to make you repeat and repeat and then just finally give up and say, never mind. An effective way to shut us up.
I’m getting real good at sign language too, the extended index finger kind.
That is a good point nikotyme, a little manipulation there. I always wait after he says what?. Sometimes, it takes a while to make sure he’s really listening and not “acting” like he’s listening. Most of the time, he’ll answer and I’ll know if he really didn’t hear me. His latest trick is to be typing while I’m talking to him. I stop talking and then he looks up and says “I’m listening”. Right! It’s impossible to have your mind on two things at a time. Unless your a women of course ;^)
SeaWriter,
I am not a writer, but the worst offenders for me are our two local newspapers, both small.. EVERY sentence is a new paragraph!!! It makes it extremely difficult to read– and there are spelling/usage/ grammar errors on every page of both newspapers.. I gave up and quit reading them!!!
Since you know this stuff– is this a new ‘writing etiquette’ for newspaper reporting?? I don’t recall the Seattle Times / PI doing this kind of thing. Just curious!!
Grammatically, using lay instead of lie e.g. I’m going to lay down. I was taught, chickens lay, people lie. Unless, of course, you’re talking about a good lay. lol
Daily, when my husband puts things away anywhere instead of where they belong just for the sake of having them out of the way. I have forbidden him from putting things away in the kitchen. lol
How about the husband who stands in front of an open cupboard, eyes darting from left to right, up and down and yells “where is such and such”
Sheesh! Just because you opened the cupboard, stuff will not move to the foreground so you can see it, you actually have to move some of the other stuff to find what you’re looking for.
Shakes head and mutters. I seem to do a lot of that!
That reminds me that back in the 80′s Roseanne had a standup routine. One of her lines was ‘Do men think that the uterus is a homing device?’ lol
The queen of the zingers that Roseanne, she had some good ones. LOL
My husband is creative in his choices. I have to wait it out sometimes hoping he’ll find whatever he’s looking for. The rule around here is, it’s not lost unless I say it is. After I’ve torn the house up then I make my pronouncement. It’s annoys me, and he doesn’t want to annoy me ;^)
Right now… Cold and snow.
Our local Journal-News! Where?? How?? Who are these people writing stories with such poor grammars?? I thought they have to go journalism schools to learn? Not?
uh-hmm…. grammar or grammars?