As an example of what I mean by connected, we have Vibrant Nation, a place where we can ask each other questions from the most personal to the most general, with no fear of reprisal or judgment. We get the answers and opinions we crave so we can move on with our lives and incorporate our new understandings. Here we have the opportunity to talk to our peers, instead of risking confidentiality or, in some instances, personal dignity, by talking to our children or our spouses, or even to our best friends.
Our mothers had nothing like this. They went through various life stages with whatever wisdom was passed along in their families, or that they could glean from their own life experiences. They were often alone in their marriages and they were often alone as widows.
We — most definitely — are not alone.
Do you think we are happier than our mothers? Better adjusted? More content?
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My mother had her sisters!
I think many women relied on family in the past. The ties were closer because geography was less of an issue, at least for many women.
I dont know about being more content. If you do not have many options or are not aware of the options ( because there was not internet or places like this) I would think it was easier to be content. Now the options are endless and that in itself can cause discontent. I was just thinking the other day of the times when the west was being settled and the homesteads were so far apart, a house here and a house there. Those women had no one to discuss anything with apart from their husbands and kids. Can you imagine not being able to pick up the phone, shoot off an email or connect to Vibrant Nation. Now my 2 year old grand daughter can roll her finger across the iphone to look at the pictures and i wonder if she will ever be able to relate to a world without all this tecnology or ever be content without it.
I wonder about children, too. The settling of the west that you describe was really not that long ago, just a little over a hundred years, and now we have internet-dependent kids who cannot imagine not being connected to everyone all the time electronically. Interesting times, don’t you think? It feels as if we’re in transition at the moment, but I guess every era feels that way at the time.
Oh! yes it feels like a big transition at the moment. Like the poet Gibrain (i think that is how it is spelled) said “our children are going to go places that we cant even dream about”
No, I don’t think we are happier or more adjusted or content. When our mothers were young women, they didn’t have television, or internet, most of them couldn’t afford magazines. The local newspaper was their view of the world. If you don’t know about any other way of life, or thinking or being, then you’re less likely to be discontented. I think we have the potential to be a whole lot more than our mothers could because of awareness and exposure. But I think we’re still struggling to merge what we learned from our moms, what we instinctively know to be true, what we hear in the media to become the whole woman we can be. It’s not a destination, it’s a journey. And we are all on the path together, isn’t it wonderful?
well my mother was a very happy women, she had many friends, a beautiful smile, and she was my best friend, I own her character, look, now I have her paint in my living room, she was my model of a women, but she was happily married, I am happy but living alone.
I agree with dynamomma that we are not happier, but we have more opportunities to make our lives more fulfilling if something is lacking. One of the biggest changes is divorce. Now that it is no longer a stigma, we are able to at least try for something better rather than being locked in for a lifetime of desperation. We may not find what we were looking for, but we are allowed to grow, and perhaps find other ways of being happy. At one time seeing a therapist was stigmatized, now it no longer is. Reliable information about sex is readily available. All this is huge, but then we have the downsides of technology and our spouses, children’s (and our own) reaction to it. Life has become unbearably complicated. So far, it’s been a tradeoff. It’s been a tradeoff for me personally, as well. I went ahead and got a divorce and no one looked down on me because of it, but the technological revolution came along late in my life, and while I enjoy some of it (such as this site) much of it makes my head spin. Tradeoff.