I know the subject of the AMC television show Mad Men might be overworked. I have a very personal reason for bringing it up, though, and I wonder whether it resonates with any other women.
I grew up believing that i was supposed to be attracted to men like Don Draper, men who couldn’t imagine expressing what was going on inside their souls (primarily, I now see, because they had no idea). I was drawn to Brooks Brothers suits and wingtips, and I had no ability to discern that the clothes really don’t make the man, because at home these clothes were set into my mind as the standard for masculine good looks. Cigarettes and alcohol? To excess, please. Add extreme handsomeness.
Oh, did I just describe my father? Well, at least he had a tender soul, in spite of his very human shortcomings. Don Draper is a shell of a man whose soul has long been imprisoned. Alcohol fogs any chance there might be for it to surface. What an empty object of desire the Don Drapers of the world present.
Now that I’m older, I can see how damaged he is, and I can also see why I was so confused about men as a young woman when Don Draper’s type was idealized (at least in my social circle). There is a thoughtless cruelty I can barely describe that underlies these characteristics. I was a sensitive, intelligent, attractive, soft-hearted dreamer, and men who fit the criteria I just outlined could dice and splice me with one glance. Such treatment is brutal and always unexpected to a young woman whose soul throbs with sincerity.
I watch Mad Men regularly. It’s like exposure therapy: what I see there helps me identify qualities in human behavior that hurt my soul. In that manner, it helps guard me from being vulnerable to those who act so churlishly. It helps me see.
Does Mad Men strike close to home for anyone else for reasons that have to do with adolescent sexuality, excessive alcohol and dashing masculine good looks?
Do you think young women today can see through the Don Drapers of the world better than I (perhaps we) did? Are there still Don Drapers out there?
(In an incredible piece of coincidence, my parents’ names were Don and Betty. When Mad Men first aired, it was hard for me not to take it personally.)
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Absolutely do I love Don Draper, only because I have spent most of my career in advertising agencies and I’ve worked for the Don Draper’s, et al. This is the best representation of not only an industry but also an era in which that industry flourished. It’s how it was & in some cases, still is.
Is it a sexual thing? Yes, I’ll admit it, I would have sex with this type in minute but a relationship? NO! We all know where we would end up in that scenario – hurt, broken & everything in between. Are women today more aware of the Don Draper’s? My answer is yes, absolutely they are aware of the Don Draper’s of the world but when you’re young, you don’t stop & think about men that way. You worried if he is going to call to ask you out again. The flip side of the coin is to look around, young women today are not only sexually more aggressive but they’re open about the chase.
Nothing really has changed for young women today, Don Draper wears different clothing, smoking may be replaced by drugs & alcohol definitely flows freely in clubs, etc. The knowledge is out there for all women to make a better choice but at the end of the day, it’s a choice nevertheless.
I just discovered Mad Men this year. Thankfully, AMC is running season one right now, so I’m trying to catch up. I haven’t really analyzed why, but I truly love the show. As for Don, well, yes, didn’t all the (ideal) successful/powerful men of that time look like that (e.g.Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, The Donna Reed Show)? So, I guess, we were trained to look for successful men and this was what success/power looked like.
I agree with Heidi. Today’s women have their pictures of what successful/powerful looks like. However, the fact of the matter is that successful or not, they are all humans and thus flawed to some extent. So, I guess my point is, is it the man or the success/power we’re looking for? After all, ’power is the greatest aphrodesiac’ (Henry Kissinger).
I worked for an advertising agency in NYC in the 1960s, and although I’ve only seen one episode of this series, I could identify with it. One of the executives actually chased me around his desk one afternoon and told me I was odd because I didn’t want him to touch me. Three martini lunches, blatant sexism….it’s all there.
I’ve heard a lot of people say how realistic the series is, maybe that’s part of the reason it has won so many awards.
Love Mad Men and Don Draper, but let’s face it, life was no picnic for women in those days. However, I do love a show where women have hips, and it’s normal! Are young women today more savvy? I’m not sure they are, from those I know.