It used to take me just under an hour to walk from my front door to the park, around the lake, and back home. Maybe I was meandering, but I sure wasn’t stopping to pet other people’s dogs or to feed those damn geese.
So I was delighted when today I went twice around the lake plus up and down an extra side street in the same time — just under an hour. I was alone, so I wasn’t pacing myself to anyone else. It wasn’t cold or raining, I wasn’t in a hurry, and I haven’t even opened that pedometer yet.
I have to assume that the simple habit of walking has improved my efficiency and therefore my speed. Malcolm Gladwell writes in his new book, OUTLIERS, that it takes 10,000 hours at an activity to become an expert at it. Could it be that I hit the 10,000 hour mark for walking in my lifetime? Could it be that focusing on heel-to-toe, stand-up-straight and swing-your-arms finally made a difference?
We’re not supposed to compare ourselves to others – it’s unhealthy, it sets up a competitive dynamic between and others, blah blah blah. All true. We all know it.
But find me a woman who doesn’t size herself up against others: thinner or heavier, younger or older, nicer house, more money…and you’ll have found yourself a freak of nature more evolved woman than I. Of course we know intellectually that being thinner, richer, faster doesn’t make you happier. Even being the best golfer in the world doesn’t ensure satisfaction and happiness (just ask Tiger Woods!).
When I walk with friends I make a conscious effort to pace myself to the other person, so that I’m not pressing them to walk too fast or too slow. It’s not fun to walk competitively with a friend, at least not for me. But I am pleased to be walking faster than I used to walk, and I’d like to think that the improved time reflects some kind of organic evolution for me as a walker. Cumulative hours adding up to naturally occurring improvements. I’m thinking maybe it is those 10,000 hours.
But there’s one thing wrong with Gladwell’s theory…I am absolutely certain that I’ve been on a diet more than 10,000 hours in my life, but as far as I can tell I’m still a novice!
other blog entries from »
I agree that women compare themselves to others, yet don’t “compete” with other women. Even in the workplace, women are much more collaborative than competative. You probably did get faster as you walked more as your endurance increased. Keep up the great work!
i agree that women do compare themselves though i do it in an observatory way,and compete only if forced to in the work area. i am drawn to like people that i consider a little more knowledgeable then me that i can learn from, while enjoying their company
I don,t agree with the 10,00 hour maxim, at least, not literally. Having said that, it does take some consistent daily repetitive doing that will fix the goal into a habit. As for walking, specifically, I usually walk alone, so that my body feels it’s natural rhythm and therefore gait for the day. I also enjoy my alone time for prayers and meditation. I do walk with friends on ocassion, but I think we all try to reach an average pace .
Over the many years and many miles, I’m grateful to put one foot in front of the other, no matter what the pace is.at least it beats sitting home with a sprained ankle, or pulled muscle and giving in to eating my injuries to health.
I believe that we (at least I) size ourselves up against those that we care about most-our friends, family, etc. When I was younger and raising a family, I honestly felt that I was on an equal plane with all my friends and we shared lifes events on a parallel playing field. We all dieted, exercised, worked, volunteered for PTA, etc. Now that we are all older and our children have grown and left the nest to live their lives with their partners, one very important element is missing from my life that separates me from them. I was the first to lose my husband. I am now single and can no longer participate in the things we shared as friends and partners, like oldies dances, movies and dinner, weekends at the ski resort, etc. I am now the third wheel so I do a lot of sizing up to the others. Believe me, weight, age, money, looks or intellect are of no value when you have no one to share them with. So, I say, if you have all those people in your life who mean something to you, keep on sizing yourself up to them. It’s good for the soul! I wonder if you get used to being lonely for the way thing were after 10,000 hours?
I think there is something to Gladwell’s theory when it is applied to life in general. I think that after repeated action spent over time we do shift our perspective and possibly therefore our skill but most certainly our attitude.
And i think the topic of worry about what other’s think of us is a great example. With age we do give up a lot of that worry. It is as if some internal confidence that we had as a child but lost somewhere along the way comes back and we are able to live life more comfortably just being who we are and accepting some people will like it and others will not. When this happens i think the urge to evaluate ourselves to others starts to disappear.
When i was younger i needed someone else to tell me if I looked good or not. Now I know when i look in the mirror. But don’t get me wrong I still enjoy a compliment or a pat on the back because it feels good to know that other people are happy about what i am . The difference is in the importance of that feedback , while it used to define me now it is just good to hear.I have lost the need for external validation of what i think or feel or how I am performing. It still matters to me that i do not offend or hurt people because that is my nature but i don’t direct my life based on external judgements.
Well yes it took way more than 10,000 hours but the trip was worth it.
MyBigWalk,
“But find me a woman who doesn’t size herself up against others: thinner or heavier, younger or older, nicer house, more money…and you’ll have found yourself a freak of nature more evolved woman than I.”
Your comments sadden me and remind me that womens’ consciousness hasn’t made much strides in the last 40 years. Simone de Bouvier was right…women have so internalized the “other” mentality that we continue to be an active participant in our own exclusion. I guess I am that freak. I can only hope for the day when more women are the freak you describe.
In-fighting never works except to keep the group down. Women are the predominant carriers of compassion for and in society. I hope someday we collectively turn that compassion inward, wake up and TAKE our rightful place in society.
If dieting and keeping up with others brought happiness, women would be a very happy lot.
Hi Joma – I see your point. Sadly, on MyBigWalk blog site the “freak of nature” comment appears with a cross-out line through it — but that did not pick up when I posted on VN. That would have made it more clear that this particular expression is meant to be tongue-in-cheek.
- Laurie (MyBigWalk)
So true. I’ve avoided games and other activities that I might lose. In business, it has constantly been about out-performing my colleagues and securing the “good job” from my boss. It has been only over the past year that I’ve realized my work is not all there is to life. Letting go of some of the responsibilities I’ve made for myself, after my employer downsized, has been refreshing and now I’m focused on the areas of my job where my talents lie. The younger members of my team can now explore new avenues and contribute more freely. It is a win-win since they will probably be here after I’ve retired to new challenges and adventures.
I began a new career in academia following my divorce at age 49, and after two jobs in nine years, am applying for tenure, alongside colleagues who could be my children. The competitive nature of this process strung me out all fall, and there was the added burden of time — if I get turned down at age 58, what the heck will I do next? One day last week it occurred to me that in all the constant comparing, which academia fosters, and which I adopted out of fear, I had forgotten I am more than my qualifications for a job. To initiate a healthier outlook, I made up a ritual on the spot: printed out a copy of my c.v. and burned it in the fireplace while reading aloud a poem appropriate to the occasion. I also burned a copy of my annual productivity report for good measure. Good-bye to all that. The totting up of accomplishments may be necessary — as in rendering to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s — but it is not the measure of a human being. I know I will continue to work well, whether it is in this job, or the next one.
Sad but true. We are too competitive in the appearance, weight, bling area. However, women need to be MORE competitive in the workplace. As a coach and former corporate exec. I see too many women who won’t compete with their male counterparts. And too many women who don’t support their female counterparts. We compete, perhaps to our detriment, as females but don’t have the confidence to compete in the business world. Of course there are those of us who are exceptions. I am and my work is all about helping other women have more confidence and advance in their careers
Jean Caton
Leadership, Career, Life Coach and professional speaker