When young women are sexually aroused, vaginal lubrication flows easily from the vagina’s blood vessels through its tough, elastic lining. Plenty of estrogen and testosterone in our systems kept these tissues strong and healthy, making this process automatic. As estrogen levels decline, the vaginal lining changes, becoming less stretchy and more delicate – much like our skin. Blood vessels, muscles and surrounding tissues all become less responsive over time.
As we age, our testosterone levels drop, too, lowering our sexual desire and drive. At age 60, we have about half the testosterone we had at 25, our peak. When lack of desire and painful penetration reduce the number of sexual encounters, the vagina responds by losing its elasticity and responsiveness even faster.
Vaginal dryness can progress to vaginal atrophy, the thinning and weakening, shortening and tightening of the vulvo-vaginal tissues. It’s the most common cause of pain with intercourse after menopause, experienced by more than half of us. In addition to vaginal dryness, it can give us vulvar pain, discharges, pain or stinging with penetration, tearing or bleeding of increasingly delicate skin, and a variety of issues with urination.
The net effect: After menopause, we can pretty quickly lose our ability to lubricate our own vaginas, which can become quite sensitive and prone to tearing. All of which can be quite painful and cause us to avoid having intercourse.
But when we stop having penetration with sex, vaginal changes happen more quickly. Regular sex, including penetration, either alone or with a partner, increases blood flow to the vagina and surrounding tissues. Without it, we’re more likely to have tiny abrasions from friction, causing the walls of the vagina to stick together or even close in some places.
If you enjoy sex and want to have it as part of your life, then keeping your vagina well moisturized and healthy is just one more piece of your body maintenance routine. It’s no different from moisturizing your face to prevent wrinkles or conditioning your hair to keep it soft.
In your fight against vaginal dryness, you two best friends are lubricants during sex and moisturizers between sexual encounters. Sexual lubricants for women coat the vagina to ease penetration, which adds comfort during intercourse. You may need to experiment to find the right vaginal lubricant for you, but you’ll be pleasantly surprised once you’ve found your favorite. Moisturizers are designed to be longer lasting. They replenish and help maintain water content in the vagina, clinging to the vaginal walls so they are effective for several days.
Packaged douches will make matters worse by robbing your vagina of its healthy flora. Do not use hand lotions, mineral- or vegetable-oil based moisturizers, vinegar, or yogurt as moisture replacements. They can cause irritation and may contain ingredients that will work against your healthy pH level. In short, if it wasn’t designed specifically for vaginal use, don’t use it in the vagina.
And keep in mind, your most critical sexual organ is your mind. When you’re not in the mood for sex, or you’re not aroused enough for sex, all the lubricants and moisturizers in the world won’t make the experience pleasurable. Our bodies, at any age, must be open to the experience before we can enjoy penetration or even clitoral stimulation. At 60, that will usually take longer than it did when we were younger. Give yourself time, and ask for time from your partner to allow both your mind and your body to engage before sex.
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i use a combo of shea butter and aloe vera moisturizer. Works great. I use shea butter on my lips, around my eyes and nose (dry areas), My father swears by vasoline.
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
No, dryness is not affecting my sex life…..yogurt???…
As a gynecologist for 21 years, I am no longer surprised at what women have tried in attempt to solve a problem. This was the short list!
Just today a woman reported about her recurrent yeast infections, then described the only symptom associated was dryness. I would wager she has probably never had a yeast infection, but multiple ‘yeast treatments’ later, the dryness persists. What is effortless or no maintenance for some is quite troublesome for others. Be thankful!
Yes yogurt! When I was in my 30s and very sexually active, I would shoot yogurt (with a vaginal syringe) into my vagina in order to keep down yeast infections. It worked! Don’t know about using it for a lubricant though!
I was having the dryness problem and spoke to my NP. She perscribed a testosterone creme and working with a compond pharmacist I now have a vaginal creme that has helped me resume a happy sex life with no pain. Don’t suffer in silence. Talk to your doctor or NP.
No, dryness is non-existent, as is a partner….I do, however stay in practice. At 63, I am always in the mood. I even have orgasms in my sleep.
Alicia, I loved your response! We may be older but we’re not dead yet. (I’m 64). I have orgasms in my sleep, too! But hubby and I have “fun” every other day, believe it or not. He’s just an amazing lover. I’m so lucky! I hope you find your someone special very soon! In the meantime, there are very nice toys to play with!
Check out http://www.middlesexmd.com for some of those toys. There has also be a great discussion on vibrators too, it includes some helpful information.
Your title makes me laugh as I have no issue with dryness..And was wondering of the topic reversal
IS SEX SABOTAGING YOUR DRYNESS? (LOL) Life can be so funny only when it doesn’t hurt…
I dont’ have that issue but once used a product to bathe with with that cause dryness lasted for one day .OHHHH .the pain so I do have empathy for anyone who suffer with that…
Thanks for your professional reassurance; Will Dildos work just as well?
Yes they can work as well.
I have heard of using emu oil to help with vaginal dryness. How would this be used?
I’m not familiar with the product. I think when it comes to ‘household’ options, olive oil and Vit E can be considered safe to use.
I just heard on Dr. Oz that olive oil is a good moisturizer for the vulva tissues. Would you agree with this?
Yes, olive oil or Vit E can work well also.