How I Came to Care about Menopausal Sex
…and why you should care too!
It began when I partnered with the local hospital in my hometown to evaluate local women’s health services, looking for any gaps where additional services were needed. In the process, it became clear that our community needed and could support a health care practice devoted to the special needs and care of women who were past their child-bearing years — these special needs were largely ignored by existing providers.
I decided to transform my practice. That was 4 years ago. I studied and became certified by the North American Menopause Society as a menopause care provider, and while welcoming patients into my practice, used their questionnaire — a thorough document that makes it easy for new patients to give me a comprehensive view of their symptoms and health histories.
On that eight-page-long form there are just a few questions for women to answer about their current and past sexual experiences:
- Do you have concerns about your sex life?
- Do you have a loss of interest in sexual activities (libido, desire)?
- Do you have a loss of arousal (tingling in the genitals or breasts; vaginal moisture, warmth)?
- Do you have a loss of response (weaker or absent orgasm)?
- Do you have any pain with intercourse (vaginal penetration)? If yes, how long ago did the pain start? Please describe the pain: Pain with penetration? Pain inside? Feels dry?
Well, I was amazed by the responses from my new patients.
60% of my patients have experienced a loss of interest in sexual activities, 45% have a loss of arousal, and 45% a loss of sexual response.
And when I talked to them, they were:
- Perplexed — because they don’t understand what’s changed.
- Disappointed — because they expected there to be more .
- Frustrated — because they don’t know what to do about it.
And when you carry those numbers from my practice to the rest of the country – well, more than 44 million women are aged 40 to 65 in the US alone. Some 6,000 of us reach menopause every day. And at least half of us experience sexual problems with menopause. Probably more.
That’s a lot of disappointed women. And a lot of disappointed men too…
I believe there can be more, and women don’t have to just accept the changes if they don’t want to. I see my work as a real care giving opportunity: Make it easy for women over 40 to gather the information and products they need to sustain their sexuality after menopause.
And that could make everyone happier!
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Obligation is something we make up. It is instead of saying no, when you listen carefully you will hear the VN groan, oh NO, not that again. I strongly suspect women (especially) are raised to be too polite. My experience is: 
Hi Watermusic! Love your response. I have found that once I allowed myself to be open to new ideas and new skills, a whole new world opened up for me. I used to tell myself that I was just useless at certain things because that's what other people to
I am 63, and just as passionate, etc….about sex and life as I was at 18. Went thru menopause without a twinge and feel no different at all. I think it is mostly genetic. I have a “ton” of energy, and am a freshman in college. Just performed (ballet) at the University where I work, because dance is my first love; I am ecstatic after dancing….also a singer and author. I don’t relate to a lot of women my age, because I haven’t experienced some of what they have.
I expect to be as passionate, full of life, full of energy, wicked sense of humor and wit, “born standin’ up and talkin’ back woman until I am 100! Attitude is “everything”! My attitude is to make a difference in the world and never stop speaking gup against injustice. I want to do more than just take up oxygen.