Part 3 of 3 (Read part one or part two.)
Shopping for vibrators can be fun, and really very interesting. These devices come in many configurations and with many options, because, well, we’re all different. What one woman or couple likes and needs can be a real turnoff for the next.
While my partners and I shopped for the collection we offer at our online store, we kept these factors in mind:
Size and Shape
Vibrators come in sizes and shapes destined for specific as well as general use. You will find mini vibrators great for clitoral and prostate stimulation. These small devices may fit in the palm of your hand or strap to a finger (especially good for making love in the dark).
There are larger clitoral vibrators shaped to cup the clitoris and labia. These can be combined with a dilator or dildo, used during intercourse, or used on their own to help stimulate vulvo-vaginal tissues.
Mid-sized vibrators are often wand-shaped for vaginal and g-spot stimulation. Large women find these useful for the reach they provide, and they can also provide leverage for women who have difficulty with hand strength.
Massagers are dual-use devices, used for vulvar stimulation as well as massaging muscles anywhere in the body (really!). Attachments for these devices can transform them into vaginal and g-spot stimulating wonders.
Power
Older women generally need more power, both a stronger vibration and a longer session time. For that reason, rechargable batteries or plug-in devices are usually a better bet than disposable battery-operated devices.
Materials
Hard plastics and stainless steel are easy to clean. Look for materials that are guaranteed to be phalate-free. Silicone surfaces are wonderfully warm to the touch, with a skin-like feel. They clean up with soap and water or with cleaners made especially for sex aids, but owners need to be careful not to use them with silicone-based lubricants. Some manufacturers now use anti-microbial plastics, medical-grade materials formulated to discourage bacterial growth.
Heat Feature
Vibrators that warm up before and during use are great for those of us who flinch from the cold.
If that’s too many variables to maneuver in one shopping experience, may we make a recommendation? If this is your first vibrator ever, why not start with one designed specifically for clitoral and labial stimulation? That way you’re sure to have a device that will help you improve circulation, keeping your vulvar tissues responsive and ready for sex when you are.
When you have your new device in hand, be sure to charge it fully before you use it. Start slowly and gently, using plenty of lubricant with the device, learning what your device will do and how your body likes it. If it’s been awhile since you have had any sexual stimulation at all, be patient. Give your body time and a number of sessions to awake to this new sensation. And if you’re bringing this new toy into an old relationship, talk through it, explore this device together. The more communication, the better.
And you tell us! What advice or questions or stories do you have about selecting a vibrator or bringing one into your sex life for the first time? We would love to hear from you!
I had to chuckle because misery loves company! I've been in a funk for days now. I call all these types of things "the mosquitos" of life. It's like one more thing and you're going to pull the trigger. What I hate and this seems to apply to m
Oh my gosh! I felt your inner pain ... and I apologize for the fact that when I got to the part about setting your hair on fire, I laughed. I'm so glad you weren't hurt, and hair grows back. Perhaps a new hair-do would not only rectify the situation 
There is no such thing as a legal separation in my state..The only way I can get husband out of the house is to force him out..He refuses to leave..I would have to file for divorce and get temporary orders including a restraining order..
I feel so
Hard plastic and steel…icky…Leaves me cold as a stone….iI have what I call my personal assistant…..it is rubber and looks like the real thing. I have tried vibrators…..ick……they do nothing for me.
Alicia, if “hard plastic and steel” turns you off, the marvelous silicone toys feel velvety smooth, and get comfortably warm. but if you’ve got what works, that’s fine!
Ya know, Joan: I might try the silicone thing….but I know one thing for sure……vibration just bores me, LOL, LOL
HI,
Yes this is all good advice. Which ones do you recommend or suggest.
If there is one you really like clue us in….don’t keep it a secret.
Virginia
I think the products from Emotional Bliss, the Womolia and Femblossom are great, and Lelo makes some great options too. Check out some options on MiddlesexMD.com with some conversations there about why you might/might not like one over another.
I’ve reviewed many sex toys also – you’ll find many of my favorites reviewed here on VN. There are useful links in this discussion: http://www.vibrantnation.com/conversations/116381-vibrator/.
Where do we find your store location?
OK here you go … I do have wonderful sex partners who satisfy my needs, but when I am alone, the CELEBRATOR sends me into a fantastic orgasm every time. The CELEBRATOR ($50) is a quiet, hand-held, battery operated clitoral stimulator … it’s nothing like a rabbit which seems to just lay there and jiggle a bit (don’t you agree?). Try it and let me know your reaction …
this is embarrassing to ask–here goes-what devices are safe for penetrating the vagina? what material is safe for penetration? what online store can I order from and make it discreet for delivery to my home? thanks. I will be forever grateful if you can help me with this info. I am in a relationship that is special however my mate has health problems and is unable to perform penetration–I love him dearly and want to stay with him–I think a toy that I can use for penetration will help me alot–and one that is SAFE!!!
The Lelo options of Liv or Gigi are great for direct clitoral stimulation or penetration. Choose the Gigi if you’re looking for internal or external stimulation or concentrating on the G-spot. It’s especially good for new users. We have other options to consider, read more about them at MiddlesexMD.com.
The Gigi is my favorite for internal stimulation. It’s slim, which I appreciate, and shaped to rub the g-spot just right.
I received a birthday gift of a glass Pyrex dildo that is phenominal … you have the option of heating it up or cooling it down and it has no batteries … it has ridges that stimulate and rub against the G-spot as fast or slow as you want, because you maneuver it yourself and it is fantastic … my girlfriends bought it on Ebay believe it or not!!!
thank you so much–is MiddlesexMD.com an online store? what online stores do you recommend?
Yes, we are! Visit @ http://www.MiddlesexMD.com
Yes, we are! Visit @ http://www.MiddlesexMD.com
Medical grade silicone is your healthiest bet — and the better vibrators are generally made of that. Don’t get any cheap products, especially imported from China, because they have no standards and often use a type of plastic that leaches chemicals — which you don’t want in your vagina. As for stores, I recommend several online retailers on my blog, but do check Dr. Barb’s store first. She’s part of our community and is giving her medical advice generously to us.
thanks so much!
I have used a vibrator for several years, even before reaching perimenopause (nope, not at menopause yet even though I am 57). I tell my partner when he is not around that I have reached for the batteries. Makes for great company when you want to be alone or to destress!
I had the rabbit and it died on me after three times. The on-line company was difficult to reach (would only take phone calls yet no one answered) and then responded once the 30-day warranty was done. Be very careful with any online company used. I too would like some referrals.
Please check out our device options at MiddlesexMD.com, we have spent time carefully inspecting and trialing products that we think are going to be especially appreciated by our midlife population. Some have warming properties, none are too compicated to learn, there are great designs to choose from. Check it out, I am sure there is a perfect fit for you!
Barb, FYI if you use the “link” symbol at the bottom, you can insert the URL so people can just click and get there instead of copying & pasting.
How do we find your store???
Go to http://www.MiddlesexMD.com
I don’t know what…or where my g-spot is, so I guess I don’t need one, LOL, LOL
There is alot of controversy about the g-spot and whether it exists or not. There certainly isn’t agreement about it. For those who explain that it exists, it is described as being in the lower, anterior vagina. It seems as though there is no apparent loss to those who don’t seem to have one! As you might attest….
LOL….I think someone made that up, just to confuse us.