Since launching MiddlesexMD, I have to say, my dinners have gotten a lot more spicy.
You know how it is when dining with buddies. It’s polite — required — for them to ask what you’ve been up to lately.
When I tell them about MiddlesexMD, a business focused on sexuality for mid-life women, you would think it might stop the conversation cold, but I’ve found just the opposite is true.
My friends do want to talk about this. It’s not surprising when men are there that they are a bit more quiet, but they are engaged, too. We all appreciate our partners’ attention to these discussions — because we’re not always alone with these changes. They affect our sexual partners, of course.
I had dinner the other night with an old friend. The subject of our conversation turned to the idea of how important it is, especially for long-partnered people, to keep their sexuality top-of-mind if they want to keep their sex life going. I talked about how older women, particularly, need extra stimuli (both physical and emotional) as they get older.
We need more opportunities to think about sex, consider it, fantasize about it, and more emotional intimacy throughout the day to find or sustain the mood. Sex is like any pursuit, if you want to get better at it, it requires your attention. Some call this “work” Awareness or Mindfulness. And I think this dimension of a relationship is valuable enough to “do the work.” (Smile.)
It was a simple conversation. I didn’t think it had any sort of profound effect at the time. But I ran into that friend a few weeks later. She pulled me aside, and whispered,
“Hey Barb! Thinking about sex more? It WORKS.”
I wasn’t surprised, if it works for me, it should for you too!
Gee, I love my job.
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I think about sex (nearly) all of the time. I do not have a partner at this time….born with a passionate nature….dancer, singer, author, touchy-feeling, huggy-kissy.
P.S. As for “mindfulness”…Dr. Ellen Langer (Psychologist at Harvard) endorsed my book….she is amazing! SHe has written extensively on the subject.
I must say that at age fifty, now that I am really good at sex, I just don’t give a damn!
Please note this is meant to be funny …. (but true!)
Ironic, ey…Kim: When I got a divorce (the ONLy good thing was sex), I didn’t think i could go 5 minutes without it, now it has been 5 years. Excruciating….my libido is still on kill; same as 20……and I a 63….
I will add that since I turned 50 (now 63) sex is better than it ever was. I also found that other areas of life also got better. There is a lot to be said for maturity.