The weather has just turned here in Lake Tahoe and it’s colder than a witches thorax outside today. The lake is frothy whitecaps on rough indigo, the aspens are shaking like crazy, and I know just how they feel.
Autumn IS a bit of a shock after the long summer and one can’t help but think of the coming winter. And here, in the autumn of my life, I often find myself musing about the eventual loss of some of my leaves. and impending mortality.
And that’s not such a bad thing. The Venuses are here this weekend for our annual gathering. In this later season of our life, we find heightened appreciation for all that we are living with and through. Because we know it’s not forever and we don’t want to waste a single moment.
It’s no accident that the predominant design motif of the blogsite is the aspen leaf. I’ve always loved aspen trees, but I especially love them in autumn. While aspen leaves are gorgeous in spring and summer, a translucent green, they seem to truly come into their own in the fall. The succulent green leaves morph into a vibrant, glowing gold, shimmering and beautiful. Sure, they’ve aged. Yet they’ve only become more beautiful albeit a little more fragile.
Like us. We Menopause Goddesses have come into the fullness of our lives. That’s how it feels, even on those days when the winds of change have us hanging on with all our might. Gusts sometimes bring illness or injury, ailing parents, children returning to the nests, downsizing and job changes. Gentler breezes stir our desires and hopes. And when we gather each year, we are quivering just like the aspen trees. With anticipation, with delight, with apprehension too.
Together we support and push, probe and listen, enfold and embrace one another. We KNOW we are going to have to be accountable to one another for the promises we made at our last year’s meeting to grow and become. We might let ourselves down, but we’d NEVER let our sisters down. The synergy we’ve created together continues throughout the year.
And now in this season of bounty, we will be meeting together to partake of the harvest of US. No hybridized, uniform perfect-looking fruit is to be found when we gather. Oh no, we are definitely heirloom with all our lumps, bumps, shapes, and colors. Vibrant, golden, juicy women in the autumn of our lives and loving it (most of the time anyway). Stay tuned – we’ll share what we learn with you, our sister goddesses.
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when this stage of my life began, i was completely unprepared. Trust this blog help others because these last 10 years for me, have been very hard and devastating. I am now 58 and at 55 i thought i was going to die. That was also the age my mother died, so i thought “now i know why she just gave up”. I not only felt bad, i looked bad. I gained more weight than ever, my hair had no shine nor did my skin. I suffered constantly from heartburn. Hot flashes were and are still very prevalent. I could not be challenged because i would come out at you like a hungry animal. So of course my coworkers left me alone most of the time. There is always one friend that sticks w/you thorugh anything and i did have one. Thank God! So I started using hormone pills to alleviate all these things and it was worse. My boobs became so large and uncomfortable that the pills were worse than all of the above. Then i read about “the study” and that freaked me out. So no more pills for me although i was miserable and told everybody that wanted to listen. I wanted my mother! I felt she could understand me, she could explain what was happening to me and make me better. I called my aunt in PR and she just laughed… I told her, “Antie, it is not funny this is very serious, my life is ending” she laughed harder. Then there were other women that would not talk about this at all. Why would anybody not talk to me about this issue? I would if i knew what the hell it was. I left the hormones, tried them again, and finally decided to go cold turkey again. I still have bad days but most days are good. At 55 when i thought i was on my lowest stage, i started reading Suzanne Sommers books and anything i could find. So, something clicked about diet and exercise. The heartburn helped me as i had to change my diet anyway. Stopped eating red meat except when i really craved it which was never. Starting eating fish more etc. However i have always been sort of a rice and beans person and that is carbs. I am also a sugar addict and sugar and hot flashes go hand in hand, i found this out the hard way. I started taking spinning classes. The first spinning class i thought i was going to die. I gave up and then started it again and have been doing it at least 3 x a week. I did not lose weight per se, but have lost a lot of inches. I am now more at peace with this mess called menopause. I also think this is hereditary. My mother had it bad, my aunts too and probably my nieces will too. I do not have any daughters. I am still struggling. If my stomach could digest pills i would take something for memory loss because i forgot to write symptoms. I am sure i mispelled it. I have not given up. I am determined to be better in my early 60′s than in my 50′s. In mid-October 3 of us meno women will start taking personal training sessions with one younger woman and hope to bring my muscle mass to a decent level. My bone density test came up very nicely according to my doctor, but the flabiness is beginning to show everywhere. So my advice is lots of fruits and vegs, legumes, the greener the better, exercise until you sweat hard and don’t give up. It can only get better.
Dear Ley,
Thanks for your wonderful sharing. My blog came about because my girlfriend and I were so freaked out by all our symptoms and changes that we thought either we were going crazy or seriously ill. We got a group of women together to find out if they were having anything at all similar and I have to tell you, the floodgates burst at our first meeting!
We meet yearly and are meeting again this weekend – our seventh. It has definitely gotten better from the low points 5,6,7 years ago. And yes, we all changed our diets slowly (you should have seen the amount of chocolate we consumed at our first meeting!).
We began exercising and okay, none of us is svelte but we feel pretty healthy overall.
Like you, I had intense hot flashes – 30-40 a day at least. Finally went on natural progesterone and a bioidentical hormone patch
which were godsends.
And like you, we still have bad days, but more and more they are good. And stories like yours, mine, and the goddesses are what keeps us blogging and agitating to get the word out.
And of course, we can’t forget the power of women sharing experiences and wisdom and support together. That’s the only way we get through this – TOGETHER – so we may survive and hopefully eventually thrive. Thanks again for sharing your inspiring journey.
I am 54 and I think I’m in later stages. i am so glad to have someone to talk with. I think for me the hardest part has been the emotional drain I feel.The fuzzy brain I feel and some mourning of no chance of more babies even though I am satisfied with my 3 grown children. I find myself with less agility and just not feeling much energy overall. I know exercise will help- poor motivation at this time. I am encouraged however that I am not alone in my feelings and that others have found relief in common sense wellness tasks. I plan to be around for many more years and want them to be good, so any advice you offer is greatly appreciated. Lin
Dear Lin,
I know what you mean about low energy. I am not exaggerating when I say that many days I have to force myself to walk or exercise. It’s funny, I always feel better (a lot better) when I do, but the hardest thing is to force myself to put on my walking shoes and get out there.
Advice: start small. Short walks or a 20 minute yoga CD three times a week. (Yoga helps with the flexibility and agility factor.) Gradually build up and of course, the exercise ends up giving you more energy.
Re: brain fog – I actually take a supplement called acetyl -l – carnitine (an amino acid – one of the building blocks of protein and precursor to many brain hormones.) My MD turned me on to it, because he takes it. I was skeptical, but tried it and it really does seem to make me sharper and clearer. Of course, one of the other Menopause Goddesses tried it and said it had absolutely no effect on her brain fog. Like just about everything, response is individual.
The most important remedy I’ve found is other women. Our Menopause Goddess group has literally sustained us over this transition. It’s weird, but being able to complain and laugh, to make promises to one another so we follow through, and inspire one another has given us so much more strength to deal with all the bizarre manifestations of The Big M, mental, emotional, and physical.
Good luck, Lin, and keep me posted!
Lynette
http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org
I am about to be 64 on September 29th. I never had menopause symptoms. I have blessed with amazing genes…my mother is 88 and weighs 104 lbs., four feet 9 inches and still has brown hair.
I have been a “juicy” outrageous, go for it, standin’ up and talkin’ back, bold……woman all of my life…..had to be with a life like mine.
xoxo, Alicia