Vibrant Nation

So many mental manifestations of menopause have plagued me and the goddesses at one time or another. Inability to concentrate, butterfly mind (winging from thing to thing without alighting long on any one), jellyfish brain, ADD (attention deficit disorder), forgetfulness, dyslexia, and more have at times dwarfed the physical and emotional symptoms. Yuck.

The weirdest is when you have several of these in the course of a single day. If my brain is not going to work, I at least would like it to malfunction in the same way for a time. So I can figure out how to deal with it.

And now, a new mental effect is afflicting me. I’m going to call it Menopause Demotivation Syndrome. After all, we seem to name everything these days to make it sound important at best and necessitating treatment at worst.

Living in two places requires that my husband and I essentially move twice a year. Which means making reservations, packing, organizing house sitters and repair personnel, etc. I’m not complaining – life is good, if slightly disorienting sometimes.

I’ve always been a self starter. I get stuff done. Or maybe I should say “I got things done.” These days? Not so much. Oh, I eventually get things done, but I feel my drive to do even those high priority items slipping into neutral.

Which is why, a week out from our departure from Hawaii to the mainland, I was still trying to get into gear. First gear would have been okay, although with each day that passed, a higher gear was needed. I barely made it this year.

And now I need to prep for another trip - combo of professional organization meeting and clean out of two storage units from ten years ago when we used to live in the Bay Area. Again, totally not motivated.

Panic mode used to be a motivator. That helped. I can’t find that mode anymore.  Or the mode where I put my head down and just do one task after another, forcing the motivation. Nor can I access the mode where I delight in organizing, packing, and planning.

In fact, it is taking every last shred of discipline I have just to write my blog entry for this week. I fear that I will exhaust my infinitesimal supply of get-up-and-go just doing this. I’m not sure this is hormonal, although it could be (by the way, goddesses, the decrease HRT project is going swimmingly, although I’m not sorry to have left Hawaii before the summer heat.)

Perhaps this demotivation is naturally occurring phenomenon due to aging? What do you think? Am I the only one? And do you have any tips for kicking into gear? Because I seriously need to get packing. And organizing.

Right now though, I think I’ll have a cup of espresso……..Better make it a double!

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