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When the menopausal woman gets angry Hot Conversation

Those words strike fear into the hearts of the masses. But why? Do we see menopausal women wandering the countryside attacking villagers? Are we reading about mass murders perpetrated by the 50-something female? No.

Then why? I know many women who’ve gone through, and many who are going through, menopause. I’ve been through it myself. The majority of these women have appeared to behave no differently than anyone else I’ve observed. Even when angry. So why the bum rap?

Now don’t get me wrong there are women who are emotional basket cases during menopause. One colleague of mine refused hormones and cried virtually every day. She was cranky and spiteful and made everyone around her miserable. She was a 50-something Mt. Vesuvius. One day a phone call came in from a co-worker who’d left the company 15 years prior. During the course of that call she inquired about Ms. Vesuvius. “Does she still sit at her desk crying every day?” Menopause? I think not!

Women who are emotionally high strung throughout their lives will be emotionally high strung during menopause — in her youth it probably got blamed on her “time of month” and in her 50’s — you guessed it — menopause! Unfortunately that stereotype is universally applied to that particular “time of life” and we all become the butt of extremely offensive assumptions and a boatload of incredibly derogatory humor.

I’m not sure when menopause became that time of life when a woman is likely to “go postal.” It’s been like that throughout my lifetime. Maybe it was those post-war homemakers who dutifully raised their families and never spoke back to hubbies — maybe they finally spit the marbles out of their mouths and let their voices be heard when they hit their early 50’s. They’d have to blame that on some life changing phenomenon. I don’t know — it’s only a guess.

What I do know from personal experience and observation is that menopausal women are some of the most stable, and reliable brain trusts with whom I’ve ever had the pleasure to be acquainted. And that is from the life experience that has taught them to deal with virtually anything and manage to handle themselves with finesse and aplomb. Others could learn from them.

So if you’re wondering, I don’t don my safety helmet and body armor when I’m preparing to visit my menopausal friends — in my experience it has never been necessary!

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Posted in family & relationships, health & fitness, Menologues.

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33 Responses

  1. watermusic watermusic says

    I worked with a woman who when she was acting crazy would blame it on menopause. I told a younger colleague that if I ever acted like that when I went through menopause she had my permission to say something.  We were in a meeting and I guess I was acting crazy. She slammed her hands on the desk and said, “You said to tell you when you were acting crazy, well guess what!”  The other women, all younger, gasped.  I looked at her for a minute, laughed and shut up and got some sense. 

    This is my way of saying I couldn’t agree with you more.  I think women hit the fifties, get tired of being doormats and use menopause to let loose when it would have been much easier to set limits when they needed them to begin with.

     

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  2. Generic Image Lin says

    It’s difficult sometimes to adjust to getting older, especially if one’s hormones are fluctuating wildly. I was very emotional when I went through menopause, with both fits of sobbing and rage. I took lots of long walks and some hormone replacement during the worst part of it and now I’m past it and fine. I tried to suppress these irrational outbursts when I was around anyone because I didn’t want to inflict my moods on them, and I warned my friends and family that I was slightly out of control and not to get their knickers in a twist if I acted strangely. They rolled their eyes and said that I always act strange, so how could they tell. On the other hand, I did not injure myself or anyone else and they’re all still speaking to me. All the same, I’m glad that period of my life is over.

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    • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

      You’re right.  It can be like riding a mechanical bull.  But it sounds as though you held on and dealt with it admirably.  So there were probably many people – probably even most – who never knew what you went through because of your courage under fire.  I salute you! 

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  3. Generic Image Lorraine says

    I think it’s the Peri-menopausal woman who has all the anger and yells a lot.. because of her hormones. I know I used go off on all these out of control angry outbursts when frustrated by my inconsiderate husband and son. Now that i’m closer to true menopause, I don’t feel that anger as often or as strongly. I’m 51 by the way.

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    • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

      Actually, I had more angry outbursts in my 20′s and 30′s – and let’s not even talk about my teens.  By the time I hit late 40′s I was much better at controlling those emotional roller coasters so I know I frequently came off as much more calm cool and collected than I was.  It’s not that I learned to suppressed my emotions – but I leaned how better to emote (like where and when and in what way to keep my personal brand from becoming tarnished).  

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  4. Tamara Tamara says

    Apparently, I’ve been suffering from menopausal anger since 3rd grade…

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  5. Generic Image JudyKarl says

    Last night on the evening news there was a segment on “women going where no woman had gone before.”  It was about women sailors being assigned to submarine duty.  A reporter asked a 20-something sailor if he thought a woman could do his job.  His response was a very matter of fact “yes!”  He said he had been in Iraq with a woman superior and she was very capable in her job.  He obviously had a lot of respect for her.  I started crying, sobbing, really.

    Why?  Because I think a lot of my generation of baby boomer women never got the respect we should have.  We got caught between our disapproving parents’ generation of old school traditional he/she and husband/wife societal roles and our children’s generation who often take for granted the world we live in.  My own daughter says she could never have been a women’s libber.  My husband was shocked when I said the big law firm I worked at before having kids was just like the office on “Mad Men” even though I was there in the 1970s not ’60s. 

    I think we’re angry and menopause is about our bodies and minds trying to break us out of the role playing we’ve been doing for so long so we can live the last part of our lives as our authentic selves.  You know, that little girl we left behind somewhere in middle school.  If you don’t know what to do with yourself now that the kids are grown, try to remember back to when you were 12.  What did she want to be when she grew up?

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    • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

      Wow.  That’s an incredible insight.  I understand what you’re saying completely and I’d never thought of it that way before.  I remember when Ella Grasso was running for Governor of the state of Connecticut and her opponent announced that she couldn’t serve because they’d have to close down the state for five days every month.  She won in a landslide and it was the happiest I’d ever been at a political outcome! 

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    • Generic Image sugisme says

      I don’t know, I can only speak for myself, but I’m peri-menopausal & I can get pretty ugly, something I’ve never really felt before in my life.  HOWEVER, having said that, I’m looking at menopause as a right of passage, a time when my body can feel “Been there, done that” as far as the whole lactating, reproducing, cyclic thing goes.  And now I’m left wondering if my head is just  trying preparing my soul for the same kind of repose state.

      I am so tired of having to do what no one else wants, or can’t be bothered to do.  I’m tired of asking & then having to explain myself for why I’m asking.  I’ve been especially tired for the last 32 years of my husband jumping off the couch at a moments notice to do something for anyone else but me.

      And I think that’s why I get so angry.  It’s at myself.  it’s my inner voice saying “For Pete’s Sake, when are you going to get brave enough to stop all this & just live the way you want!”  Hormones definately play a part because I don’t feel angry every day; but for me, they’re the catalyst & everything else just follows freely along.

      Am I the only one who experiences this?

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      • Generic Image JudyKarl says

        Jill, I also have a lifetime husband (34 years).  I thought I had an egalitarian marriage, a partnership.  But what I realized was all the big decisions had always been made by him.  Ultimately, we are responsible for how we are treated by others.  It took about 5 years but I was able to slowly push my husband toward changing the dynamic of our marriage.  He is a good man and I have always been 100% certain of his fidelity.  Yet I started a process that I wasn’t sure our marriage could survive which was very scary for me.  But I felt like I was fighting for my own self so I felt compelled to do it.  There was a lot of anger on both sides and we did it without professional help which was probably not the best approach.  But we survived it and my menopause (I am post menopausal by 3 years) and we are very happy now. 

        I literally woke up one morning about 6 months ago and realized I wasn’t angry anymore.  For his part he had to let go of a lot of his competitive ambition and become much more content with less.  I believe it was not a coincidence that the crisis started when I became peri-menopausal.  I also believe the crisis increased because of our country’s economic crisis.  A lot of our issues were about money.  Too much money was being spent trying to maintain a certain lifestyle. 

        Remember anger is really just fear.  I was angry at myself because I was afraid.  My biggest fear was in being alone but I had to risk it.  People don’t like to have to change.  Your husband may not even realize how much pain you are in.  You have to start talking.

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      • Generic Image sugisme says

        Thanks, that pretty well sums up my thoughts.  Your husband had to have wanted your marriage to work as much a you in order to make changes  Good for the both of you!  It IS easier said than done.

        I’ve come to realize that most of my home life, altho not horrible, is actually the way my hubby wants it to be.  I’ve just felt like I’m living his ideal life, not mine.  Talking yes, good plan!  Easier said than done.  The TV goes on the moment he enters the house, the computer is right there & the couch is the ultimate sanctuary.  There’s no chance for talk then.  I am literally drowned by the TV…he has them everywhere, even the garage & 2 for the trailer (1 out, 1 in), which BTW he wanted to buy for us to spend quality time together.  What a pile of BS!

        Oh sure, you’re all saying “Well turn the darn thing off!”  Tried, doesn’t work.  He gets so angry there’s no chance of communication & besides, he’ll just move to another one.  Isn’t that sad???  He has SO many good attributes, but he is totally removed when the TV is there, it’s ridiculous.  I know I’m not suppose to take it personally, but no one enjoys good conversation as much as he, & yet there’s nothing to yack about with me.

        Today is my birthday.  I thinking I should give myself more from life as a gift to myself.

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      • Generic Image JudyKarl says

        Happy Birthday, Jill!  Definitely give yourself the gift of yourself today but don’t go cold turkey, remember baby steps — the dance of life — two steps forward, one step back — but its still progress!

        The tv is just the drug of choice for your husband.  He is in pain, too.  Life rarely turns out how any of us expect it to.  You have to break free of the old patterns you have in approaching him and try different ways.  You can only control yourself, not him.  So start reacting differently to him.  If he says something toxic, quietly get up and walk out of the room.  Eventually he’ll notice and ask you what’s going on.  Or start quietly pointing out every time he gives someone else more consideration and attention than you.  Tell him how it makes you feel, not “you are doing this, this and this wrong.”  It has to be about how you personally are in pain.  Because he truly doesn’t want you to be in pain.  He has to realize how serious you are, first, to get snapped out of his lethargy/denial phase. 

        Another thing you might try is announcing you are going on strike and why.  Also timing is everything, don’t try to have a big talk with him at the end of the day when he is worn out from work. 

        Another approach that worked for me was to start talking about what my husband wanted when he retired.  I already knew but I started having him go into elaborate detail.  Eventually I started telling him what I wanted.  Surprise, surprise it wasn’t an exact match.  So we worked on making a compromised plan.  Its a lot easier to get someone to agree to something that’s a few years away.  When we eventually finalized a plan it was easier to start making small changes in the relationship because we agreed on the big picture.  Now we’re both working towards the same goal.

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      • Generic Image sugisme says

        Thanks for you advice.  It’s all good advice & suggestions that I have put into place & worked on in the past 20 years.  We have been to councilling & I know he went because I wanted it.  A good sign, & I did learn SO much about myself.  I also learned that he would try a little bit & if it put him out too much, then he’s not going to put any more effort into it. Example: Our therapist said we need to do more things together, so he went out & bought seasons tickets to our local Junior A hockey team.  A nice jesture, even though we couldn’t afford it, & I couldn’t care less about hockey…but still, a valiient effort on his part.  Here’s the thing.  We’d go to the game, sit in our seats & then he’d get out his Walkman, plug in his earplugs & tune in the play by play of the game that’s on the radio!!!  He’s 30 feet from the ice for Pete’s Sake!  Again, another way to ignore me.  (*I must add I’m not the naggy, gossipy, nattering fish wife that you all must think, if he’s going to such extremes! Honest! ha!)  Anyhow, yah…it’s comical really I just have to shake my head.

        Anyhow, for everything you stated above, thanks again, but I’m sad to say…been there, done ALL of that.  I’m finally realizing that I have to have the 2nd party present in order to have a party at all.  I do love him, he has a good soul & oddly enough we agree on most everything, but I’m so tired of being alone. 

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      • Generic Image JudyKarl says

        Jill, I’m so sorry none of my advice is helpful.  I hate to leave it like this especially on your birthday.  Will you start a new thread?  Maybe others have some helpful advice.  Maybe its time to think of a trial separation to shake things up.  And please stop apologizing, no one thinks you’re a fish wife!

        I do know one thing, Robin, please accept my apology for hijacking your blog, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

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      • Generic Image sugisme says

        Your advice is helpful.  As for hijacking the blog, No, it’s really my fault  Haud, is est meus mendum.

        But, it does tie in with angry menopausal women (or myth).  Maybe we all just get fed up around that time.

        Thanks, Jill

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      • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

        I couldn’t agree with JudyKarl more.  Your anger is directed at you and your fears.  His insulation (to the point of submersion) within his sports world (my husband is the king of sports TV – but we have signals to use when we need the other’s undivided attention – thank god!) is a signal that he’s got some serious needs that aren’t being met.  Complacency is the enemy of all long married couples.  Try conquering the complacency for yourself – go to a wine tasting or a quilting bee (whatever interests you and fits your budget) and start having some fun.  Shake the complacency off yourself before you start to tackle what’s suffocating him.  Once you do the anger should subside to the point where you can deal with him patiently and compassionately.  If he sees you start to really enjoy your life he will start to take notice.  You’re the stronger one so you have to lead the way.  Don’t rely on him for your happiness – only yourself.  Then, when you’re ready to give him the help he needs schedule some time out of the home – maybe go to lunch at a sports bar – baby steps – but get him out of his cocoon and you’ll get him to start listening.  But not too far out of his comfort zone initially – little baby steps!  Good luck and Happy Birthday.  You can do this!  

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      • Generic Image sugisme says

        I have tried all you’ve suggest & so much more.  I have been complacent with my marriage but not with myself.  I continue to try new things, to be brave & strong. I am continually winning the battle with myself. & I know  I am lucky that my husband does want me to do whatever I want, go do whatever, whenever, & never has stood in my way. I do have free rein over my own whims. He doesn’t demand anything of me!  Honest!  He is a good person & has a good soul.  He is intelligent & has a kind heart (we’ve learned to ignore his bark). He has his life, I have mine.  The payoff for him is that I don’t get a say in his interests, purchases, friends, or what he does with his time. (Like it or not ladies, that’s the rule to his game!)

        I agree with you that my anger is at myself. I am complacent because I don’t know how to answer.  I must convince myself that my opinions are important.  I haven’t figured out what my fears are, but there’s no doubt they’re there.  I have faced some.  The weird thing is that I’m afraid of being alone, & the fact is that I feel very much like that. I was raised with conditional love. 

        Here’s the thing…he will not change because he has no interest in changing.  He has told me that outright when we were going through counceliing.  He has no interest in having ‘couples friends’, he has his own friends.  He has no interest in trying new things together, he has enough to do.  Are you seeing the pattern here? .

        I will never be able to ‘tackle what’s suffocating him’. His childhood was turbulent & those who knew of it wonders how he ever turned out to be so well adjusted.  The only time he ever talked to me about any of it was once, years ago & he was actually thanking me for not being a mother & wife like his own was.

          Will someone please tell me why I care to stay?

        I do love where you say about complacency.  THAT is maybe the biggest cause of married menopausal women!

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      • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

        My god you are obviously so intelligent.  I feel very sorry for him that he doesn’t get the benefit of being a true partner to you!  He has some deep wounds based on what you’re saying.  But basically he does sound like a good person.  He would probably benefit greatly from allowing himself to open up to being in your company – but he may not be strong enough to let himself.  So you do have some choices.  You have to look out for yourself first.  I think you have to let your instincts lead you through this.  You can choose to build your separte life and let him be your “never available” roommate.  Or you can choose to tell him that you have some basic requirements for roommate status and he’s not meeting any of them.  Either way it’s not perfect.  Moving on on your own is a very scary prospect and I honestly don’t know what I would do in your position.  Only your gut can tell you.  But one thing is clear – you deserve more happiness than you’re feeling now – don’t expect perfection (it doesn’t seem as though you are – or you can count on a ifetime of disappointment) but if you want a little something better you absolutely do deserve it.  How hard are you willing to work to get it?  There’s always a price. 

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      • Generic Image JudyKarl says

        Jill, your more detailed description of your husband just sent chills up and down my spine.  You just described my stepfather.  My mother was widowed when I was young so he was my only adult father figure. 

        On his death bed for the last 2 days of his life, emotion and regret just poured out of him.  He was a good man but he didn’t know how to be affectionate and he knew it.  My mother stayed for over 40 years because she didn’t believe in divorce for religious reasons, and he was a good provider.  She settled for financial security over companionship and intimacy.

        My mother’s regret was that his self awareness came too late.  Robin is right, complacency is the beast.  My mother knew my stepdad loved her and she knew he was committed to the marriage but she was afraid to demand more.  So push and then push harder.  Have him read this thread.  Surely he doesn’t want to end up like my stepdad. 

        You’re staying because you’re settling.  And you have hope.  You haven’t quite given up yet.  You must think there’s a glimmer of a chance the two of you can change your patterns of behavior.  So, go for it!

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      • Generic Image sugisme says

        Ladies,

        Your messages are kind & inspirational, thank you so much!  Robin, I don’t know about intelligent (I like to think so!) but this I know…I am a capable, hard working & resourceful person.  My husband knows it, he couldn’t stand to be married to someone high maintenance or helpless, suspicious or whiney.  Oddly enough I have him to thank for my independent abilities because he either wasn’t around or I HATE asking him for help so I do it myself (hate having to wait until the time is right for him).  

        You are bang on when it comes to listening to my instincts.  Sometimes I feel as if my instincts are everywhere, like my internal radar is reaching so far that ideas are just outlandish!  What I take from that is confidence that as far as future plans,  I can do most anything I set my mind to. He ust laughs at my ideas.   Sometimes it includes my husband, many times it doesn’t.  And then there are times that I think “I can do whatever I want right here & now.  Why commit myself to any financial risk of living alone?”  It’s a pendulum; back & forth.  You’re right, it’s a hard decision to make.

        Judy, I am curious.  Does your mother have regrets about her marriage?  I am a firm believer that we all do the best with the tools we are given.  And sometimes we do settle because of fear.  You are correct too, I have settled.  but then, you know, I see women who’s husbands are demanding of them, or who are married to men who tell them how to wear their hair, or buy a car without discussion.  A Yes Dear existence. I have friends who’s husbands will complain like little boys about little things.  Man, how long would I last in a room of that?!

        So, this is what all goes through my mind.  I do have hope, I do realize that when it comes down to the core of it, my husband & i love & care about each other.  We have always been able to discuss the really important things, & almost always are on the same page.  

        We are going camping this weekend, then parking the trailer at a conservation area not far from home for the next month.  We’ll be spending time together (although there is a TV for inside & 1 for outside, a satellite dish & DVD player…can you believe that?)  I’ve dug out the Scrabble & Yatzi games, so I should be able to lure him to play at some point.  I promise I’ll lay it out for him on how I’m feeling.  We’ll see just how important this is to him.

        One thing I know for sure.  If I was to be on my own, I would NEVER set my sights on finding a man!  If Mr. Wonderful came along them Hoop-de Doo!  Buy me dinner, take the odd vacation & have good romps in the sack.  Period.  He can watch TV at his own place!  ha!

        Again, thank you for taking this time with me.  It means so much.

         

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      • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

        I only wish I could do more.  You know a friend of mine had what looked like a pretty good marriage.  Then her parents died.  She went to a support group and many of the people there were grieving over lost spouses.  She came out of that thinking – why don’t I have that strong feeling for my husband and why don’t I feel as though every kiss is the first kiss – better change this and find something better.  So she threw him out.  And he found someone else.  Now she’s angry that he’s not there for her (yes the guy she threw out) and catering to her every need and she’s lonely and unhappy.  The point being – nothing is perfect – and everything needs work and improvement.  But just because it isn’t perfect doesn’t mean it’s time to throw it away.  I’m glad to hear your gut is talking – because that will lead the way!  And those Hallmark couples?  They’re 99% crap and 1% Facebook pics! 

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      • Picturesandwords Picturesandwords says

        I realized years ago that when it comes to husbands, you never get everything you want. That’s why we have girlfriends. I read in a book recently (sorry, can’t remember what it was) that when people want intimacy and emotional closeness we all turn to women! Men don’t provide much intimacy.

        I was at a women’s meeting recently and looked around the table. I knew about each woman’s marriage and realized that everyone at that table had a problem of some kind with her husband. It’s just how it is. (I’m not talking about abusers here, just regular guys.)

        I think sometimes we expect things from our husbands that they are simply incapable of giving. When my marriage went through a bad patch and my husband was not a nice person to live with, I decided that I did not want my marriage over, I wanted it better. I started working on myself and examining why some of his behaviours had such a deeply negative affect on me. When I healed of those things in me, his behaviour ceased to bother me. The funny thing is that when it ceased to bother me, he stopped doing it. I never talked to him about it. I just changed in myself. Then he changed. It was like a miracle.

        It sounds like there are things that you genuinely like and appreciate about your husband (TV notwithstanding) and your marriage gives you reasons to stay. I hope you find the happiness you seek. Sometimes it is just a matter of deciding to be happy regardless of the situation. Look at the positives and ignore the negatives. We can analyze ourselves into a total funk if not careful. I don’t mean to minimize your pain, but you deserve to be happy and choosing to make yourself happy is a good place to start.

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      • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

        That is fascinating.  And it makes perfect sense.  When you stop being bothered by the behavior it will most likely go away.  Even if you thought that your partner wouldn’t notice a behavior change in you because he’s so into himself – he will notice when you change and it will undoubtedly have an effect on him.  And with luck it will be the effect you’re hoping to get.  Sometimes it’s about being strong, introspective and willing to wait it out rather than give up on it. 

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      • Generic Image sugisme says

        Here, Here!   I love all that both of you have said!  And it’s so true about the shift in attitude will have a domino effect.  We all have liitle games that push each other’s buttons & I thnk that’s it in a nutshell.  I’m not sure what the game plan for the Go Easy on the TV game could be, but I do think that talking more will help immensely.  Now I just have to figure out a way to pry him away from his flat (screen) lover!  I’ve promised myself I’ll try.  Maybe I’ll have to resort to having a ‘wobbly’ like my Brit friend calls it…a meltdown.  I have lost my temper only twice at him in 31 years.  It does get his attention. Last resort.

        Like I said before, there are alot of husbands who would continually cross the line with being bossy to me. At least I don’t have a whiner to have to please.

        We’re going camping tomorrow & I have some bags to sell, so I’m looking forward to this weekend.  Thanks girls, with your help I feel energized.  I’ll keep you posted in case you’re wondering.PS You probably noticed I changed my VB name.  I suggested this site to a couple of friends, so now I want to remain a little more incognito!

        *TTFN *

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      • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

        Your advice is stellar!  I wouldn’t have changed a word.  I’m so pleased that my words helped to get this process going – and I appreciate your very sound advice.  Don’t ever apologize for helping someone! 

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      • Generic Image jack says

        I can really relate to this… Thank you for posting this…. Menapuase keeps going and going. The more I resist the more it persists. Good luck. Its only temporary, I hope.

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    • sunsetwriter sunsetwriter says

      Right on the money!!! Couldn’t have said it better myself. I am absolutely asking myself that and then running with that thought. Thank you!

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  6. whitehydrangea whitehydrangea says

    I have read all of your comments, and I can say to JillH that I have MANY similar complaints about my husband, especially the TV watching. (When I think we should take our two sons out for a bike ride, hiking at a nearby conservation area, just tossing a football around, etc..) none of that happens and I do think he will regret it someday.  They can’t seem to see the bigger picture that they are missing out on family time.  He does take them to their organized sports, right now HOCKEY, but how does he really interact with them at hockey when they are on the ice and he is standing watching? Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that leaving is a difficult decision to make and maybe not the right way to deal with it.  Alot of men are similar in what my sister calls “they like their cave”.  Take care and know at least that you are not alone.

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    • Robin Donovan, Menologues Robin Donovan, Menologues says

      Thanks for chiming in.  It’s hard for me to advise someone when the problem she’s experiencing is not something I face.  It really helps to have the voice of wisdom from someone who truly understands. 

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    • Generic Image sugisme says

      Thanks Whitehydrangea!  BTW I hve pink & blue one’s, no white…must keep an eye out for one!

      Umm, yah, I can’t say much about Man Caves, cuz i have my sewing room, & my office & no one else goes in either of those rooms.  Some women may call their kitchen’s their Woman Cave (we’ll have to invent our own moniker for that!, Ill start a fun thread, let’s see, call it Dictionarily: Our Own VB Catchwords

      Okay, I’ll off topic already!  So, your hubby likes the tube too.  My flatscreener (new word!) & I went camping this weekend.  It stormed so bad we couldn’t hear the TV (devine intervention?!?!?!).  Left there yesterday morning & on the way home parked the trailer at a conservation area 15 minutes away from home (for a month). We’ll go back & forth.  Anyways, just wanted to say it took us maybe 15 minutes to set up the trailer, I’m putzing around with whatever & took him another  45 minutes to find a signal for his satellite dish. Too bad he wouldn’t put that attention & effort into 100 other things I could think of!   The dish ended up out by the road, hope it doesn’t get stolen…only becuz he’ll go out & buy a bigger better one. I just have to shake my head.

      I did find though that instead of getting all bent out of shape, I found myself bartering with him. “Since your nascar race is on tonight, then let’s do this today.  It worked…that time anyhow.

      At least your hubby is taking the kids to hockey.  Maybe they could make a routine of doing something together after too.   Even if it’s just going to Timmie’s (oh are you a Canuck?) & getting caught up on the kids news.  Or checking out a sports store, look at the new cars in (a teaching opportunity!)  or something like that, that your husband has in interest in.  That would be nice for them.  I know what you mean, the guys don’t know what their missing, but I know that it is what either Judy or Robin said…the TV is your husband’s drug of choice.

      Hang in there.

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