Friends and readers…a while back I asked women to send me the one word that best described their feelings of SELF at this mid stage of life. The most common word I received was INVISIBLE. We need to corporately change this notion. Women are nurturing, compassionate, reliable. We have an innate understanding of cooperation, grace and tolerance. The world is dying for the very essence of what it means to be a woman. A dear friend and amazing talent sent me the following. Prepare to be inspired.
Cloak and Dagger
Invisibility? Everyone has felt invisible or wished to be invisible, for one reason or another. Perhaps they are insecure, or feeling particularly vulnerable during a period of time and want to disappear. These are not reasons I would wish to be invisible.
I never felt unheard, or ignored. I’ve always had a roar inside me, and I’ve not been afraid to make it known. During my current mid-life experience, I often have moments which I believe are true epiphanies — moments when I really ‘get it.’ People tend to over complicate issues, relationships and our life experiences instead of just ‘being.’ I always remember my French lessons, and the term ‘être’ — the most important verb, meaning “to be.”
My desire for invisibility stems from interactions I have with people that just don’t get it. I feel frustration about trivialities that are made into huge issues. No point. I prefer to detach myself from this, and just observe. Really, more often than not, I would rather simply read a book, or write in a journal, if given a choice.
Life is fleeting, and every moment must count. Effort is often needed; sometimes there are big things that must be attended to and handled with care and concern. Real issues. It is the nonsense that is overwhelming, and the fact that one’s insight may often be totally disregarded. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and it doesn’t matter if you are 16, 25, 46, 60 or 80 years old. The true tragedy is that life passes so quickly, and time is so intangible. In the world we live in, everything is intangible.
It’s easier to email than to pick up a telephone or visit someone; digital pictures can be lost forever with a computer malfunction. Entertainment has morphed into reality TV — essentially spying on someone’s false life — talent is ignored, people no longer need to create. Music is played on guitar hero, rather than with a guitar in hand and working out a tune.
My solution to this madness is to become invisible to the falseness to which we are now conditioned, to march truly to the beat of my own drum. Not worrying about conforming to someone else’s ideas or expectations, but just to be. Être.
Give me that cloak!
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Please do not ignore your gut! It is telling you something and you don't want to listen. It's yelling loud and clear. There are red flags here. Please listen!
Greetings, Arden,
Thanks for the interesting questions. Wow--it WOULD take a book to answer them all! When I got to the last sentence, I laughed out loud, cause--guess what--there IS a book, and of course we'd be delighted for you to buy it. It is 
... Can I hear an AMEN in the VN house ? (:
DON'T give up...Never..and you'd be surprise how life works...a gift of love can come from just anywhere and when you least expect.in the meantime HONOR yourself because you are indeed the BEST friend and support to yourself.I worked very hard on rel
I loved this essay!
I am 63 years old; a professional still working in my field, somewhat attractive and I still feel invisible! What we really don’t understand is that we can’t do anything about it; it is society. Aging is not looked upon favorably and every little slip of the tongue, maybe a forgotten thought, I see the “roll of the eyes” of younger people, even people in their 40′s! What we must understand is that this has been happening forever! I was just as guilty when I was younger; laughing at my mother in-law when she mispronounced a word or didn’t know the right word to say! Wow, I thought, she’s just “old”. I remember looking at how older people dressed and wore their hair and was absolutely certain that I would never look like that! Well, the time has come and although I try to stay with Trends, I certainly am not walking around in stiletto heels all day! What I guess I am trying to say is that someone my age could jump up and down on top of my car in traffic and people would just say “hey look at that crazy old woman” while a young attractive girl could do it and all the guys would be clapping! Do I sound bitter? I don’t mean to because I really like my age and all the experience I have amassed; I just wish I could wear those stilettos!
I have never felt invisible. I was born standin’ up and talkin’ back! I am trying to get on Oprah and will never quit trying. I have a message for the world, and am determined to tell my story. I am a dancer, singer, author and poetess.
I don’t have only one word to describe me, but here is a few: wild-child, vibrant, full of energy, WICKED wit and sense of humor, outspoken, sensitive to the hurts of people on the planet, over comer, wounded healer, joei de vivre, nothing can stop me. I will never stop trying to make a difference. My inspiration (not that I need one) ws my 97 year old teacher who just died….still living alone, playing the piano for plays and dressed up like Willie Nelson for one of her many plays she was in. She coined the term, “fairy-child” about me when i was her student in the 3rd grade. I kept in touch with her for the past 45 years….how I adored her spirit. I plan to be that old……..”standing in defiance”
P.S. I wear stilletos and short skirts and have hair (thick and curly) down to my waist.
Thank you for showing up on the planet… you are leaving a legacy and inspiring all of those around you to show up and speak up. God almighty – What a difference you must be making in your world. When you show up as your vibrant wild child self, others around you might be able to muster just a little more courage to show up thiemselves. Thank you, thank you!
Matters: I could just HUG you! Your comments gave me such joy! Thank YOU!
One of my friends says: “They just don’t know what to do with you” LOL
Did I mention that I am a freshman at age 63? I won a scholarship because of what I wrote about my life…and oh………I am also a veteran of the Women’s Army Corps, and have written my memir, Ghost Child to Triumph (not published yet), but my poetry, Sanctuary of the Soul, IS published; that is why I am trying to get on Oprah…with Elie Wiesel, Wayne Dyer and Nikki Giovanni as my endorsements, I think she would be interested….HUGS!
BAck at you sister! What a wonderful name for your poetry book! Are yo familair with http://www.shewrites.com?
So many blessings. Keep us posted and keep checking in.