This is not a whiny blog about pity me childhood stuff; but a discussion on personal-awareness of views placed on new lives/souls being born into this world. I wrote a book: ‘Life is a Song in the Key of Love’ — be in AWE of it all, respect life in all its forms of expression; and make life a song!
Labels I’ve heard:
Your head is BIG! — You can’t wear your hair short — Your eyes are too close set. [I felt bad about my looks.]
You’re big boned — you wear a size X. [When I see my childhood photos, I look very thin?]
You have a Wide foot, D-width. [I picked clunky, boring shoes.]
You don’t want to dress like those snobby girls. [when given the chance to pick a flower print or plain-striped dress - I chose the plain-striped dress - which I really disliked.]
Oh! You got placed in those honors classes — that’s where all the snobby kids are. [As a result, I asked to be placed in the next lower level, so I wouldn't be seen as snobby - rather than challenging my mind.]
You’re too quiet, cat got your tongue? [as a result, I talked less!]
I CRINGE when I hear new parents tell me: My child or my grandchild is in the Such-and-Such National Percentile. The ‘Doctor’ says he/she is TOO short, TOO tall, TOO small etc COMPARED TO other children at that age.
I hear these labels announced loudly and clearly in FRONT OF toddlers (I remember comments made about me at age 4!)
I understand the need to be aware of certain physical and mental development issues in order to provide treatment or education at an early age, where it is available; to improve the quality of life.
At WHAT point do we let the child know: YOU’RE OKAY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
When we keep hearing, as children, everything that is WRONG with us; that we don’t fit the NORM — our self-esteem goes crashing into the ground or never gets developed.
Someone sent me an e-mail of groups of people from all over the world. I think it had to do with wealth. What I noticed. The people I was taught appeared to be poorest and lacking; HAD THE BIGGEST SMILES AND BRIGHTEST LIGHT in their eyes!
I am not saying to not get your teeth straightened or eyes or hearing corrected, or anything else that may improve the quality of your life! Good hygiene makes for a happier, healthier life. Just don’t do this because you want to FIT IN with the NORM, the AVERAGE.
I went to a hairstylist about 10 years ago and said: ‘I was told I can’t wear my hair short with my ears cut out; because my head is big and my ears are too big.’ She said: ‘I don’t think that’s true at all, let’s try it.’ Well, check out my photo on my website, I think she was right! My head is just PERFECT as well as my ears!
DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY and tell a beautiful new soul that’s recently arrived in this world; YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU’RE PERFECT — JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Children observe, hear and hold onto what they are told from a very early age — fill them with thoughtful words not of judgement, but of acceptance. Share this philosophy with their siblings. Compliment them on their uniqueness, and perhaps we’ll start growing some healthy, self-loved teens and adults.
There’s no need for a world of clones. I’m 5 feet 2 inches; when I go grocery shopping, I openly ask anyone taller than me for help with reaching items on the top shelves. After the kindness is done for me, I tell them to come and get me if they need anything from the lower grocery shelves, since I don’t have to reach down as far!
VARIETY is the SPICE of Life! Don’t LABEL and JUDGE rather APPRECIATE the DIVERSITY! This allows us to be of more HELP to one another, due to our differences in mental, physical, and emotional ability.
There’s a story of the difference between heaven and hell. Hell is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, starving; because they can’t put the soup in their mouths due to the long arms.
Heaven is a bunch of people with very long arms with spoons as hands, all sitting around a bowl of soup, healthy and happy; because they are feeding one another.
Let’s feed one another with appreciation, acceptance, tolerance, respect and Make Life a Song!
Highlighted Helen of LAFOLOT
Live life in a-MAZE-ment!
Make Life a Song!
other blog entries from »
p.s. I dropped your name on Gina's post, Barb. ;)
I ABSOLUTELY love your words!! Thank you!
Anytime someone says “too” I take that as a negative. Those tapes that were drilled into my head as a kid still run, even though I’ve been trying to dismiss them for years. I was a sensitive kid and took everything to heart. Was raised to respect elders, regardless. So anytime anyone said something to me I took it as gospel.
Your teeth are too big….hence, I didn’t smile. Your too chubby…hence, I’m fat and no one notices you. You’re too sensitive…I was/am sensitive, but it was regarded as a negative. So I’m not good enough even though this is how God made me? So folks could sling criticism and because I was “too” sensitive it was my fault. You’re too quiet. You’re too stupid. I seemed to be too everything. Never good enough.
I just responded to another thread here about validation and this goes right along with that. We just want to be validated/accepted for who we are. I try never to use the word too.
And yes, oh boy, do we hang on to these early messages.
I LIKE YOU EVEN MORE NOW! And yes, I remember words from when I was very young, learning to see myself differently than the way others believe you should be, I like me! :-)..TRACK..EXODUS 4:11